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10/20/2019 c6 3Wuolong77
In my opinion your strongest chapter so far, but that could be because I love Sara/Fie banter. There are some nitpicks about character background and worldbuilding though.

1. About Laura' s utter unfamiliarity with noble gatherings - canon probably disagrees. During the Heimdallr Field study, when Class VII meets Alfin at Astrea, the Princess makes a remark about wishing to attend Thors herself, because all the fun nobles like Laura, Jusis and Angelica are going there. And how could Alfin be familiar with the aforementioned nobles, if not through some kind of high-class social gathering? Your scene will still work. Simply substitute "utter unfamiliarity" with "rarely attended". It's just that keeping Laura completely unfamiliar with noble ettiquette and rules would be downright negligent by Victor.

Laura's thoughts about irrelevance was nicely done, but I think she isn't completely free of worry, when it comes to the future of her family style. Consider her first bonding event in Cold Steel II, when she asks Rean to climb up the Eisengard Range with her. Once there, both chat about their training, but Laura also muses about the role of traditional swordsmanship on a modern battlefield dominated by tanks, aircrafts and Panzer Soldats. You could of course argue that at this point in your story, she is still totally green behind the ears and doesn't think that much ahead yet, but her dad works constantly with the Erebonian military. I mean, heck, the man possesses the appropriate military rating to command a battle aircraft and I dare say this skillset isn't included in the Arseid swordsmanship curriculum.

I don't know if you played the Crossbell games, but the exchange between Fie and Micht about Weapon supplies and the tightening of borders (though customs would be more fitting) doesn't make a lot of sense. First of all, the political situation Fie describes isn't something that is happening "these days", but is a situation that has persisted for decades. In universe, it's called the "Crossbell Problem" and is basically the political status quo. So, either there is some way to escalate beyond what Fie is describing or you could let the little Jaeger call out Micht on his bull, that he's concocting some political fiction to justify higher costs in the future.
And Crossbell citizens being worried that weapons get out of their borders? If anything, Crossbell is a weapon's importer or at most an exchange hub. The biggest weapons manufacturer on the continent is Reinford hands down, who have a recorded tradition of making gunpowder weapons. They are followed either by the Verne company or the ZCF. In canon, there are actually armament restrictions in place which forbids the Crossbell Military to own weapons beyond a certain measure of lethality. This includes tanks and aircrafts. And the only plausible way this kind of restriction can be enforced is due to Erebonia and Calvard being the ones who produce and control the flow of armaments in the first place. That means, the only reason Micht would utilize black market channels in Crossbell, at least when it comes to weapons, is because Fie really, really wants some Calvard products.

And a last nitpick: You mentioned the advantages of self-made gunpowder, but in the same paragraph, you also mentioned blowing up doors. The way you conflated these sentences in one paragraph implies that gunpowder would be used for breaching and while that may be possible, you mention plastic explosives in the next paragraph which is a far superior solution. It's also what Fie used in canon during the Bareahard field study,
7/22/2019 c6 16rikotch
Fie Claussell's spelled with double L. Yeah, I know. Surprised me too.

Anyway, some action! Can't wait for this something different you're setting up. Keep it up (please do I need my LoH fanfics-)
7/1/2019 c5 6Vampuric Spider
Really like your writing style. Keep up the good work
6/30/2019 c5 16rikotch
...spells Viectory!

One hand, I agree that this is slow to progress in the plot.

On the other, I and lots of people already know about the plot of CS1. What the game lacks though, are day to day interactions between Class VII and their respective cliques. So in a sense- keep doing what you're doing because its so refreshing to see other characters in action in Thors.

Btw, who would Jusis be partnered with in his chapter? Only Rean's left.
5/29/2019 c4 82Manu259
I know what you mean; it's SO annoying when a chapter just doesn't want to get written.

Anyway, as always your characterization is on point; the only thing I can say I disagree with is when Gaius said that he 'doesn't have a direction', now this is just my point of view but he always seemed to know what he wants.

He outright says it during the Nord field study that the reason he went to Thors was to learn about the outside world so he could protect his homeland.

Now, while I definitely think that presenting the characters and giving each one a chapter (or half a chapter) of their own is good, I also feel like you're taking too long to move the story along.

Please don't misunderstand I'm not trying to rush you or tell you how to write but it feels like nothing has really happened; as in, this chapter was to give you some info about Gaius and Emma and that's that.

Of course, this is just my opinion on the matter and, again, I am not trying to tell you how to write so feel free to ignore me and if I offended you in any way, then I apologize.

Anyway, I think that's it, thanks for another chapter.

Until next time.
3/3/2019 c3 Manu259
Another nice one.

I know I'm repeating myself but you did a good job portraying the characters; not only the one that is the 'center' of the section but also the ones around them.

About Class VII not using the ARCUS for communication while down there; I can actually think of a few reasons why they didn't but I do agree that someone might have been able to think of using them.

In any case, thanks for another chapter.

Until next time.
2/27/2019 c2 17Thors Alumni
Nice, I am looking forward to reading more of this story. Keep it up.
2/27/2019 c1 A10101010A
Put Weissmann in your story.
2/20/2019 c2 82Manu259
I really liked how you explained Sara and Elliot's thoughts here.

On one hand there is the new Instructor that pretty much disregarded most common sense other Instructors would have (I particularly liked the not so subtle foreshadowing about dumping work on Rean haha)

And then there is Elliot, the proverbial 'fish out of the water' that doesn't really want to be at the academy, not to mention fight monsters.

That been said, there are a few things I feel I should mentio; if you changed these for your story then feel free to ignore them.

First; although we only see it from Rean's perspective, we don't learn about Gaius been from Nord till either a certain bond event or the actual field study; at the very least, he doesn't mention it here (again, if you're changing it for story purposes feel free to disregard).

Second; maybe this is explained in one of the previous games that I haven't played yet but in Trails of Cold Steel it doesn't seem like the Septian Church has issues with people of other religions (there is a conversation with a priest at one point that mentions that) but I might be wrong so take it with a grain of salt.

Third; this one is more of a question, does Gaius ever say 'thank the spirits?' I've heard him thank the winds and Aidios but I can't remember him saying thanks to spirits.

Lastly, this is just a suggestion, you could use the line break to mark when the perspectives are changing from one character to the other; I was still able to read it without issues but I do believe that it would help (like before feel free to ignore this if you don't want to use it).

I think that's it, thanks for writing another chapter and I hope you can get the next one out soon.

Until next time.
1/28/2019 c1 Manu259
Good start, I look forward to see how you make things from other people's perspectives.

I liked how you gave some more background to the formation of Class VII, considering we never hear much about it aside from the fact that Olivier proposed it.

Last but not least, I agree that there are certain things in the games that seem to be rushed or not developed as much as I think they should have, looking forward to how you expand on them.

I think that's it, I wish you the best while writing, until next time.

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