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2/3/2019 c4 ProblemPixie
I like the title on this one, it gave me a good chuckle!

It's odd that Sirius would allow Harry/you to be alone with Kreacher, someone he doesn't trust and actively despises.

You mention 'apparition' in this chapter - an apparition is a ghost or ghost-like image of a person, or type of hallucination. In this case, you WANT to capitalize it - Apparition. Aparate. Disaparate.

In that same sentence, you mention "I and Kreacher were in an empty room"; this is incorrect. It should be 'Kreacher and I'.

'Fiendfyre' ought to be capitalized.

Is that a hint at Hermione I see? Nice!
2/3/2019 c3 ProblemPixie
I hope I'm not coming across as too nitpicky, as I'm trying to help out..!

'Aunt' does not need to be capitalized where Remus says it, as it isn't at the start of a sentence and is not used to refer to her AS Aunt Petunia, but rather just 'your aunt'. Similarly, 'tutor' and 'magic' shouldn't be capitalized there.

Imo, the 'Dumb Eldor' thing is a bit grating - an adult should have more self control, and the child people consider you at the moment would have more respect.

A small thing stood out to me - Remus should not have been able to send a Compulsion Charm (which SHOULD be capitalized, as it's a proper name), or in fact do any magic there at all. When Dobby got Vernon's guests with that cake in canon, Harry was blamed. When Harry blew up Marge in PoA, the Ministry know about it. In book 5, when Harry used the Patronus Charm, MoM detected it. Because Privet Drive/Little Whinging is a muggle area, and Harry is the only known magical person to reside there, he would be instantly blamed for Remus' magic and someone (likely Hogwarts staff at the behest of the Ministry/Mafalda Hopkirk) would send someone over to see why such a young child was doing not only magic, but an actual, purposeful Compulsion Charm. This is particularly an issue as you have Remus doing this charm repeatedly.

'Holly' and 'phoenix' do not need to be capitalized in regards to Harry's/your wand.

'Pouring' over books.

'Physics' and 'chemistry' do not need to be capitalized, nor do 'theory' or 'magic' unless you're referring to a book CALLED 'Theory of Magic'.

'Prison' should not be capitalized.

I like the scene between you and Remus discussing your/Harry's father and their friendship!

In the letter to Mad-Eye, 'professionals' does not need to be capitalized. Also, I can't be sure if this was purposeful yet or not (disregard my statement if you did it as a plot point) but the letter to Mad-Eye certainly seems to implicate the Weasley's and makes it sound as if they were hiding Wormtail on purpose.

In the next scene, between you and Remus - you've forgotten to capitalize the 'what' in 'What did happen?".

When Sirius asks about your life with the Dursley's, 'aunt' and 'uncle' do not need to be capitalized.

Things are moving fast! I'm glad Sirius is free, but it seems like everything is just speeding on by.
2/3/2019 c2 ProblemPixie
I think it would help to have more in-depth looks at you life at the Dursleys and WHY they do what they do. You kind of just drop 'Vernon physically abuses me' in there and then move past it like it was nothing. What did you do that was so bad as to get physically punished? Despite how awful the Dursleys were to Harry in canon, they rarely if ever get physical with him.

You could toss in a mention like 'things aren't how I thought they would be, they're not exactly like the books at all. Vernon is much crueller to me than he ever was to Harry in the books', or something.

As well, the way you/Harry just sort of...throws off the emotional repercussions of physical abuse doesn't seem right. Assuming you're a fairly normal person who's been reborn into another world and family (and you seemed to express mild dismay at never seeing YOUR family again in the previous chapter), it leads the reader to assume that you were never abused in this manner, and therefor should probably be much more shaken and distressed by Vernon's treatment of you.

I like that you brought up the difficulties of functioning well when suddenly dropped into a much smaller body - a lot of people skim over how WEIRD this would be for anyone to have to deal with.

When referencing Snape, 'spy' does not need to be capitalized. Similarly, 'boy' would not be capitalized later when Mrs. Figg uses it when speaking to you. As well, she's Mrs., not Ms.

'Magic' does not need to be capitalized in any of the instances you've done so in.

It's also slightly off that a woman of Mrs. Figgs' age and intelligence would get into a screaming match with a 'little boy' and call him 'stupid' - that's incredibly out of character for what we know of her.
2/3/2019 c1 ProblemPixie
It's kind of short and scattered. It's also highly improbable that anyone, especially someone who hasn't read the books in awhile, would wake up in a small area with forehead pain and INSTANTLY go to "welp, I've died and been reincarnated into the Harry Potter universe'. It would make much more sense to be confused, and not realize until Dudley or Petunia woke you up - or even until seeing yourself in a reflective surface.

Mentioning HPMoR doesn't sit easily with me; it's a very divisive fic, and whether you love it or hate it, it seems weird to bring up other author's fics in your own, at least directly. A reference along the lines of "I shouldn't overdo the science thing, though - I don't want to end up facing a supersmart Quirrel and Voldemort Team, I've seen how that one ends."

After all, how would you like it if someone wrote a story and it contained a line like "I wouldn't do the stupid things done by Harry in 'Harry Potter, Self-Insert', or something? (Not saying, specifically, that you have or would - just giving an example).

On the upside, your spelling, grammar, and punctuation seem pretty solid. That's all I can say thus far as it's just a set-up chapter.
2/3/2019 c6 Mimeomia

2/3/2019 c3 Mimeomia
yeah... this is were I quit.
There's no plot, at all. This will probably go on as a fix it fic, and you won't go into ANY detail about HOW things were done, maybe you'll put something like ; I wrote a letter with future info plus magic and done.

I like SI's 'cause it's interesting to read what the MC will DO and HOW he's going to do it. I don't want to read about the MC's thoughts, or his original life or whatever.

I don't like that your MC instead of DOING something himself or waiting until a moment he won't BREAK CANON , he just goes and TALK to someone and puff, EVERYTHING'S DONE FOR HIM, THE WORLD TWISTING ITSELF TO SERVE THE MC.
2/3/2019 c2 Mimeomia
Don't make your MC talk adult-ish and then go and fuck up dumbles name, it's weird and he'll probly hear that name 100 times and if he's still getting it wrong, well, he'll just seem stupid at that point.
2/3/2019 c1 Mimeomia
yessh, at least use a flippin mirror to realize u r HP.
2/3/2019 c6 4a guy1013
Just keep updating
2/3/2019 c5 a guy1013
Nice just keep updating
2/3/2019 c1 3LachesisMoirai
Brilliant job, I love the Fandom references!
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