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for Dungeon of calamity

3/13/2020 c2 BrightWhiteNeon
I wish there will be another update
12/11/2019 c2 1995hzq
Come back soon, I like this story.
5/28/2019 c1 SkeltalRepublic
I applaud you for rewriting the story to fix it's form. it may still not contain proper grammar in a few areas, but it makes up for the fact that it is much more comfortable to read.

Cheers lad/lass.
5/27/2019 c4 SkeletonRepu
Hey hey everyone, Skeletal Republic here. Today I am going to review a Terraria Fanfic that no one will read because that game hasn't been relevant in years.

Just kidding.
This fanfic has an interesting premise already with Mary Sue-ish character. This would be an issue if not for the fact that he beat Calamitas, and since we all know how hard the Calamity mod is you can bet that this won't be an issue in the slightest.
Now my only problem with this are three things.
1. The Pacing
The pacing of this fanfic goes way too quick without any stops to take a break. We have character thoughts coming and going, we have scenes suddenly occurring without any reactions, and a few more sections.
2. The Writing and Grammar Errors
The grammar is good enough in this story (with the occasional mispronunciations like to and too), but the structure of sentences and paragraphs are bothersome to read through due to how the you formatted it
And finally 3. Some Unnecessary Information Still Being Added
Largely a fault shared in many fans fictions is by adding scenes that have already been shown early on in a series. This is a common technique fanfic writers use to pad out the story to increase word count and make the chapter seem big, when in actuality they just got lazy. I don't mind that you did it because you at the very least changed character dialogue, but please when you re-write it cut some of the background occurences that were already showcased in a series to a minimum.

All in all I can't wait to see this fanfic grow and take the story into another direction.

One last thing, make the main protagonist's Personalities and Traits stand out more obviously since I can't seem to understand the main character's motives.
2/19/2019 c1 Masked Guest
Since you've got an original idea and crossover I will leave my review to encourage you to continue your story and improve your story.

So for the positive, you've got an original idea, your grammar is good and reading your sentence is easy.

Now for the negative I will be more thorough.
In term of storytelling, you failed to give a true sense of who your main character is in this two chapters of introduction. You can keep his detailed past and how he came to terraria hidden to developp them later on. But you can't keep his personnality hidden, here we have no idea of his personality and capabilities. You aren't using a character who is fresh or level 1 you are using a character with experience so you have to show it through his words and actions.

You are also rushing a little the story, the encounter with Bell and your MC going into the Hestia Familia, feels forced. You should have had a part of your story where Morgan gain back his bearing with his return in Orario before having the encounter with Bell; it would give more meat to your character and offer your the possibility to make the encounter seems less like a Deus Ex Machina.

Don't take this as a flame. I'm saying that so that you can improve your story, And I'm waiting to see your next chapter.

Cheer.
2/13/2019 c1 The Lazy Dragon
It's to be expected that not alot of people know about this story but.
This deserves more reviews

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