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for Naruto: End Game

7/16/2022 c2 demon87
Very super
1/29/2021 c2 Strud

Will this be getting updated or is the muse gone?
Because I quite enjoy it so far.
11/6/2019 c2 16thomaspheasant
please update immediately
8/26/2019 c1 2Renee3magic
I’d first like to state that I love your story. That said, you realize the entire village hates Naruto and the caretakers in the orphanage not only hated him and threw him out by the age of 5 but also socially isolated him through the children and barely fed him enough to keep the Jinchuuriki alive, emphasizing that as any normal child probably would have died, right. Don’t get me wrong I love your story and how you implemented the gamer quirk was on the good side of why I love the gamer fanfiction, but that entire interaction was cringeworthy.
6/26/2019 c1 bigmeaty69
Damn I hate when they end up using spells and mana instead of just chakra. They dont mix very well and it just ends up a clusterfuck. If you're going to have the SI use mana at least keep it as something separate from chakra because they aren't the same thing. Have it be like the spiritual portion of chakra or something that fits in the setting. Because if spells were possible with chakra and your untrained SI could figure it how to use them in a day then everyone in the Naruto world would have to be an idiot to not have figured it out themselves. But if everyone does use spells then it wont feel like the Naruto world.
6/24/2019 c2 Lazymanjones96
Interesting stuff looking forward to more
6/22/2019 c2 2Xero the Reaper
Well, here's my review:
You're a good writer. it's hard not to notice with all those badly writen fanfics around. But your story has PROBLEMS!
Problem #1 Saki Himeshiki: Your OCs existence is one problem on herself. You just make her pop out of nowhere, really powerfull, and mental, and a pedo. She shouldn't be allowed near children. And she has all the characteristics of a bad OC.
Problem #2 your world building: "He mastered all 5 elements, despite having NO elemental affinity." BULLS#IT! You don't know how it works do you? Everyone has 1 Elemental Affinity (2, for those with Elemental bloodline limits) and that makes learning that element easier but doesn't make the other elements impossible. Elemental Affinity isn't something you don't have.
And sensory isn't an Uzumaki trait, just Karin (and some VERY few non-Uzumaki ninja). Even if it was how come the real Naruto didn't have it while this Naruto has?
And water walking and Elemental training are not academy lessons. Elemental training is for JONIN for kamis sake!
6/22/2019 c1 Xero the Reaper
Chakra isn't made of Yin and Yang.

Chakra is made of Physical Energy (Ki) and Spiritual Energy (Mana) in a 1:1 ratio. (Unless It's Senjutsu Chakra, which is a 1:1:1 ratio of Ki, Mana and the Force(yes from Star Wars))

Yin Chakra is a combination of more Spiritual Energy and less Physical Energy while Yang Chakra is a combination of more Physical Energy and less Spiritual Energy. (I don't know what the ratio is, but i theorise that it's either 8:1 or 3:1)

Yin Release is about giving form to nothing, like how the Second Mizukage makes undispellable Genjutsu and how the Nara clan 'give form' to their shadows.
Yang Release is about giving life to form, the only example we have are the Expantion jutsu the Akimichi use. (so it can mean you can temporarily alter your body)

What peaple get wrong about Yin-Yang Release is that thay think that it's the combination of Yin and Yang, it's not. It's actually the combination of all seven elements (Lightning, Fire, Wind, Water, Earth, Yin and Yang).
Yin-Yang Release Users can make Truth Seeking Balls and use Creation of all Things.
6/21/2019 c2 SandarClaws
nice, keep them coming
6/20/2019 c1 Andorxor
I assume R&W is read and write. Is that not a bit overpowered in a world where writing let you to all kind of reality breaking things?
6/20/2019 c1 Empyrean Asura
moar pls
6/18/2019 c2 Helily
YAY! I am so happy to be able to read another chapter _ and so glad you are still writing. Thank you!

Is Naruto going to be okay making friends if he graduates early? I find myself really curious how this will all play out as I rarely see this direction taken in fics I read.

And you plan for this to be a long fic hmm? That has me excited. I love long chapters and long fics. The longer the better. Still, I am sure it must take time and is a lot of hard work for you so please take good care of yourself and have fun writing for all of your stories. Good luck! :)
6/18/2019 c1 2KDRDEADMAN
this is awfully similar to another fic I read
6/15/2019 c2 Let's see
I quite like this reworked version, chapters are better sized, content better written and formatting is nice.

For constructive feedback;
Charisma checks and stealth checks aren't really needed and are better left to the wayside unless you also give him limited dialog options to choose from.

I like how this fic is more serious than your first and not an instant op into anbu thing.

You had him introduced to some knowledge of the uzumaki, I think it would be cool if you used that knowledge to try retrieve any inheritance, even if it doesn't contain jutsu or anything because narutos parents their home got wiped in the attack. There should still be a bank account, even if it is limited or locked until he's a gennin or 16 yrs old or something.

I liked the orphanage lady, I'd like to see her her in the story from time to time and not forgotten.

Anbu is a very common route in naruto fics, perhaps hunter Nin or fire guardian could be an interesting alternative in the future.

Should naruto be all wanting to restore his clan and stuff or going the family route. Then I think him requesting a bounty like mission for the discovery of uzumaki and perhaps red haired people with large chakra reserves or users of known uzumaki secret techniques like chakra chains. I think it would extra dimension to the story and add potentially new routes and story lines at a future point in time. It will give you something to use when you his a small writers block ofr something.

In case you want things to get more lemony you could also add a relationship meter system or something for him to focus on developing when you just want to go off route a bit.

Since naruto is a reincarnated being that knows the series, then perhaps its a good idea for him to have a rough idea of what he wants to excell in for his primary focus.

There are currently a lot of gamer abilities with some dbz mixed in. I recommend not going overboard with them so it remains a naruto fic and not a mage reincarnated as naruto fic. Some abilities are fine, but the moment he stands still in a fight just aiming a hand at an enemy and blasting powers from it will be when the fic will lose its naruto verse Ness. Something that mana bolts present a significant danger of doing.

Thats about it I think, you don't seem to be intent on preserving Canon events like most people, which is a mega bonus for your fic. Honestly you're doing pretty good, have a natural feel to your writing this time and I'm quite pumped about reading the next chapters. Keep up it up!
6/15/2019 c2 Guest
Good ! Please update quickly ; )
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