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for The son of the traitor

10/16/2019 c1 12Leo no Ruisu
Gostei da ideia da história, as mudanças cairam bem, apesar de ter algumas coisas que ficaram meio no ar. Ainda quero saber o como rolou o selamento da Kyuubi sem a morte de ninguém. Outra coisa que me intrigou foi o por que da substituição do Naruto por ao que entendi uma menina. Bem para um primeiro capítulo tem bastante coisa que deixou dúvidas e a vontade de entender melhor, parabéns pela ideia, tem algumas coisas a acertar no inglês, mas nada que impeça a leitura.
10/14/2019 c3 Viki909
Eu tenho quase certeza de que você é um brasileiro*
6/29/2019 c19 Tsumahe
Naruko x OC
4/11/2019 c1 LilyWhite KittyWake
wow its only the first chapter and there are already so many obvious mistakes. not even spelling mistakes, just the way structure your sentences, that once someone reads them makes even dialogue seem unnatural or out of character. a lot of these errors could simply be avoided by proof reading what you write.
i really hope your writing improves in later chapters, this story seems like an interesting idea.
now im going to point some the most obvious errors.

In the paragraph where Minato and Jiraiya first fight fight the kyuubi, replace the comma with a period in the first sentence.
A comma before but.
Replace “and” with “is”
Replace “holding” with “keeping”
A comma enstead of and
When Minato speaks to Kushina, get rid of the first “the”
Change she to you
Does to do
A comma before but
An “Its” after but
This to the

Change Murder to Minato
“Minato catches Naruko carefully” what did Kushina do? Throw the baby?
Change 2 to two
Jiraiya sensei and I, no the or we
Replace “plan of” to as

Okay these are all errors I’m going to point for now, and that’s only in first half of this chapter.
4/6/2019 c22 Jack Gold Sword
Naruko x oc
4/2/2019 c19 Shadow1reaper
oc x fu
naruko x sasuke
3/28/2019 c18 Jack Gold Sword
Pair him with naruko
3/28/2019 c6 Outerjay
i really like this story but the simi-broken english is really off putting i think there's lots of potential so keep writing
3/28/2019 c17 Krulcifer
The story is nice keep up the good work friend
3/19/2019 c16 Guest
Naruko pls
3/10/2019 c14 yorman.parrapalacio
3/6/2019 c13 yorman.parrapalacio
2/28/2019 c7 4AstolfoBrHue
Obrigado por ler
2/24/2019 c3 Guest
I think you are rushing the history WAAAAY too fast, take more time on each parts and add more details to it. otherwise i like it.
2/23/2019 c2 Guest
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