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for Naru no Slytherin

5/5 c14 4SailorPoison666
Finished chapter 14 and hunger for more.
5/3 c6 SailorPoison666
Finished chapter 6 and I am loving the direction this story has been taking since chapter 1.
4/1 c2 2LordOfTheAndain
Interesting take to choose Naru rather than the more obvious candidates, although so far she hasn't done anything to justify her inclusion - nothing that couldn't have been done by a non-crossover OC instead. Well, she has mentally compared some people to the various SM villains she has met - which prompts the question, if this is "some years" after the attack of the Black Moon Clan, why is she in first year? Since she is in the same year as Usagi, she should be at least 17 by now (a seventh year), not eleven! Or there should be some commentary about why she is so much older than the others, or perhaps a scene where her age is changed.

And the Japanese - so much Japanese! It really makes it hard to read, even when one knows the language somewhat. And the way it seems to be spoken by most everyone... I could see the point of using it to show Naru struggling with her English, or if Snape and a few others who knew her great-grandfather well used it with her as a courtesy, but having random British first-years using Japanese honorifics without prompting makes no sense at all. (And why do Naru and her great-grandfather speak "broken English" to each other in the dream? Realistically they should be speaking Japanese, which they are fluent in, and that should then be presented to the reader as fluent English, possibly italicised or otherwise marked to show the change of language.)

I had planned to read on and find out what the reason for the crossover is, but I'm having real trouble suspending my disbelief here (and the lack of a proofreader doesn't help) so I'll just leave you this comment now and go find something else to read. I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavours. :)
4/2/2019 c1 Fred
Please, check that address. A live example is something like this:
Embassy of Austria, 1-chome-1-2 0 Motoazabu, Minato City, 106-0046 Tokyo-to, Japan
Mr. Motoki, Crown Parade, 1-chome-11-1 2 Azabu-Juuban, Minato City, 106-0045 Tokyo-to, Japan
They use numbered blocks and Toḱyo area is the size of Paris for foreiginer or for statistics NUTS1.
2/27/2019 c14 James Birdsong
Good five chapters
2/27/2019 c14 Guest
great chapters and is this the last chapter
2/27/2019 c12 Guest
great chapters and I hope things go good for everyone when dealing with the true dark lord aka Dumbledore in this fic
2/25/2019 c9 Guest
great chapters
2/25/2019 c1 2Red Death
Unreadable with so much uncalled-for Japanese.

NEVER language-mix.
2/25/2019 c9 James Birdsong

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