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for Courtroom Thirteen

3/13/2019 c1 nomek1012
Please tell me there is going to be a follow up to this!
3/4/2019 c1 CaptainYellow
Here are my thoughts.

1) The plot
Very good plot, like wow! I really liked this story and you got me invested. I wanted to know Harry's plan and I was kinda nervous at the end when he started to "betray" the Weasley. I thought he was going to do something crazy, like blow up the Ministry or something (I mean, knowing you and your tendency for angst :p) So yeah, I really liked the twist at the end. Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I love open endings so the ending with the mysterious letter didn't bother me.

2) Dumbledore
Yes, yes, yes! I love your Dumbledore! He is wise, he does his best to save Ginny, but he is also as "incompetent" as he was in canon. Your characterisation was perfect as you managed to show us that without bashing him. So, good job!

3) Lucius Malfoy
I really like the idea of Lucius doing everything he can to destroy the Weasley's. After all, he gave Ginny the diary to hurt Arthur so why not go even farther and send his daughter to Azkaban? He made a very good villain in this story and his motives were not contrived at all.

4) Harry/Ginny
Are you ever going to write a fic where you don't torture them? Like, ugh! Poor things! I love how Harry is worried for her and is actually trying to save her. He might not already be in love with her, but we can see some feelings there. Also, very random but I love Harry's sassy response to the judge when he is asked how he got into the Chamber.

5) The writing
Some parts were confusing. In the beginning, for example, we don't know who is talking to who because there are no speech tags. Same for the trial scene, the lack of speech tags make it hard to follow sometimes and it gets confusing. Also, you might want to go over your speech marks; I noticed there's a period, then a comma (it should only be a comma).
The POV wasn't clear in the trial scene, so when the narrator described Ginny it seemed like it was Ted who was boiling. You should make it clear that the scene is from Harry's POV ("Seeing Ginny chained to the seat made Harry's blood boil").
I also noticed some case of "white room syndrome", meaning we don't know where the characters are (in scene 1 and scene 2). I assume they are in Albus' office, then at the Burrow, but I can't know for sure because you don't show/tell us that. So the characters could be anywhere.
And lastly, I don't think Arthur and Harry would call Albus by his first name. Calling him Dumbledore is more in character for them.

All in all, I really liked this story. The plot was very interesting and you kept us at the edge of our seat right from the beginning. Good job!
3/3/2019 c1 2EmlynMara
I like it very much. Quite an unusual, but very reasonable twist. A follow up would be fascinating.
3/3/2019 c1 Guest
“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” Harry didn’t tell the whole truth.

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