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8/31/2019 c1 Mar Speedsman
1- Frankie wears a purple gown when asleep
2- She has no private bathroom. No one in Fosters does
3- Fosters doesn't have a security system. By the end of the show, they have an electronic lock. Other than that, nothing. No cameras. And if there were any, the security room wouldn't be in the Attic.
4- I don't think you presented your case well enough. You didn't pace your writing to give a feeling of mystery. Rather, I felt like you we simply rushing throughout this whole thing
5- Dialogue felt too factual and out of character. Like the narrator was explaining things to the reader, rather than the characters talking to each other in their own tongues.
6/9/2019 c1 1NinfaRoma41
Cute little fun story! Nice.
I love the imaginary puppies. I'd like to see them more often n.n

Thanks for sharing!

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