Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for A Wolf Among Chocobros

7/11 c13 nliochristou
will you do any side missions; i think they will be a great way for Noct and the others to develop a friendship with Cloud.
7/1 c12 5Triforce Dragons
I like it. Can't wait for you to update!
6/26 c12 Belva
Tysm for updating >.<
6/17 c12 Titan
Great as always 3 thank you for uploading it so soon! I love the stories and I hope you'll keep updating soon(take your time actually!) And I hope you're doing good!
6/16 c12 1Sakihinata
Thanks for updating!
6/16 c12 Kairitrion Cerulean
Nice, and now that it's night they got daemons to look forward to :p

A few (frankly hilarious) spelling mistakes in thing chapter tho lol. Quiet into quite, menacing into... mencicing X'D ?
6/16 c12 1TheRandomArtFur
you wrote Ingis instead of Ignis at one point, still a really good chapter and I wanna see more : D
6/15 c12 104Scififan33
good chapter! I always though their personal lights were to help drive off weaker daemons as well as light their way? having now played some of the FVII remake I now realise how different the magic systems are between the two worlds so Cloud would need some explanations.
Like Cloud's observations on the boys fighting so well as a team, especially with how recent addition Prompto is to it.
6/15 c12 6Jebest4781
well this was quite nice
6/15 c12 2Vein Bloodborne
Quite the interesting chapter, night vision was a nice touch. Keep up the good work.
6/9 c11 dezmonthemoonbear
This fic never fails to bring a smile to my face, especially in these hard times. So I have to thank my sister for recommending this fic to me, and to the wonderful author for writing this amazing fic in the first place. I look forward to the next update!
6/8 c11 9tmart.x13
This was a very interesting chapter and I'm glad to see that Cloud is partially getting adjusted to things there. Well, at least the best that he can. Comparing how the languages are different in writing though was a good touch and let us see that even some of the small differences can mean quite a lot. For some reason, I can see Cloud having some issues in the future with that, but that's just speculation. Also was nice to see Cloud being able to somewhat relate to Noctis too, and I am hoping that they do get a chance to talk about more later about themselves. Cor's suspicions are well warranted too, so I am glad that he is not just accepting Cloud. That adds something to the journey for sure. I wonder though if there will be some changes that are coming because Cloud is there though. I would think so? I guess we will have to see though. Very much enjoyed the chapter!
6/7 c11 Belva
I love this story so much i hope you update soon
6/1 c11 Guest
Hey Author, out of curiosity:

1. What if Cloud's presence somehow ends up changing some certain things from FFXV canon in this story? For example, what if Cloud somehow manages to save Lunafreya from being killed by Ardyn?

2. At what point do you plan to have Cloud tell the group about stories of the events that happened on his world?

3. Which ending do you plan to use for this story? The canon ending, the alternate ending from the "Episode Ignis" DLC, or the alternate ending from the "Dawn of the Future" novel?
5/31 c9 6Irish-Brigid
Interesting story, I look forward to seeing where this goes. Just a few things I want to point out.

First, You tend to repeat yourself a lot. Please respect the intelligence of your readers and don't remind them every few sentences that Cloud doesn't know much about this world.

Second, and somewhat related to the first, is that you have a tendency shared by many new writers (and far too many experienced ones) to tell instead of show. Rather than say that Cloud isn't good at socializing, *show* that aspect of him. Instead of telling us that he feels awkward about something, *show* his reaction. You do that partially by describing him slipping into a corner while the others talk, but then you go on to explain *why.* It's best to let the characters' actions speak for themselves.

Third, more writing advice (my Dad's a former English teacher and I had an English major at one point). You use passive voice *a lot.* To keep your readers' attention, it's best to use active voice. For example:

"All the men were now staring at Cloud with wide eyes..." This is passive voice, the subject receives the verb's action. In this case, it's easy to change it to active voice.

"At this, all the men stared at Cloud with wide eyes..." This is active voice, the subject acts on the verb.

If you have difficulty telling the difference, just remember to try using the word 'was.'

Lastly, specific to this chapter, Cloud is only two years older than most of these guys. After about 18, people don't change much year to year. He could've been 25 and still reasonably looked much as he did at 20. So they're reaction seems rather excessive.
139 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 .. Last Next »

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service