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5/23/2019 c6 Guest
Oh yes! He's going to reveal his secret!
5/23/2019 c5 Guest
Liz is a badass vixen i gotta say. Commanding a bear to attack lol
5/23/2019 c4 Guest
I realize that after reading several chapters that when a character speaks you didn't put quotation marks. It's very important for you to use it. It's a small tip for you
5/23/2019 c3 Guest
If i have to be honest, you should've written some training montage there
5/23/2019 c2 Guest
So Liz is a fox? That's kinda cool
5/23/2019 c1 Guest
This is a good start
3/10/2019 c2 45K2912 - The Anonimo Avtory
Alright i'll point out some things that you can improve.

1. The POV writing. POV stands for Point of View so all of it must be capitalized. And, the word Ghost must have a capital G instead of a small g since it's a name.

2. Try remove the bracket to something else, preferably italic words.

3. If someone's speaking, try to put double quotation marks to differentiate between talking and actions or gesture made by the characters so that it would not confuse the readers.

4. Again it's about capital. If you start a new paragraph you must put capital words on the first word of the paragraph. This also applies to the word coming after a period/full stop sign.

5. You are making too much paragraph. Try to compress the sentences here to one simple paragraph.

6. (This is not a mandatory but it will help you later). Try to make each chapter more complex by filling more details into everything. For example, when Ghost try to search for a den, you might want to add how long he walked or how many dens he deemed unsuitable for him until he find the right one.

That's pretty much the advice i can give to you right now. I know that this is your first time writing and you having an issue with procrastination, turning ideas into words and scared if someone doesn't like your story.

First of all procrastination is okay since we all have and will face what we call writer's block. It's a common thing for writers to encounter. My tip on this is to write whatever is in your mind at that very moment to a blank word document or just write it down on a piece of paper or your personal book.

Second, turning ideas into words is hard sometimes. The best thing to improve on this is to have brainstorming session coupled with random writings like i said above.

Third and final tip from me, if someone does not like or even hating your story, do not take it on personal level. Try to ask them (use private message if they have an account) to point out the mistakes you did to improve on your writing. If they did not do that and continue to hate/flame you, ignore them. There are still a lot of people here that would love to enjoy your work if you continue to improve your writing. And don't be scared to PM people around here. Most of us would love to help new writers to improve.

Again all of this is just my opinion and you are free to agree or disagree with my methods and tips. Good luck and keep your chin up.
3/8/2019 c1 Guest
Very short introduction but interesting nonetheless
3/9/2019 c1 K2912 - The Anonimo Avtory
Interesting idea. I will keep an eye on this one. Well done
3/7/2019 c1 The Return of the Enclave
Super short but I give these story a chance. So you have a good day tell next time.

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