for Okay, so the thing is, this may be a long title but hear me out, its-7/28/2021 c16 Guest
Bakugo didn’t get rid of Icy Hot cuz it’s supposed to be illegal
Bakugo didn’t get rid of Icy Hot cuz it’s supposed to be illegal
7/22/2021 c46 
50acosta perez jose ramiro
Great that you updated here. And yeah, even low-level telekinesis is a very effective offensive power if it's aimed at the right spots.
Keep the good writing.
50acosta perez jose ramiroGreat that you updated here. And yeah, even low-level telekinesis is a very effective offensive power if it's aimed at the right spots.
Keep the good writing.
7/7/2021 c1 Shauno425
Hey man, so I'll be straight up with you. I don't like your story, but I thought I'd give my 2 cents and try to constructive about it. Your grammar is very good, I also think the general idea has a lot of potential, so great job on those two areas! However, I think my primary dislike for this story comes from how generally fast paced and basic it is. There isn't much variation in the lengths of the sentences, almost every sentence feels like there was little interest behind writing it initially. To delve further, the fight scene was again very basic and overall didn't make much sense. For example, the villain getting "lucky" when he landed a hit to Izuku's TORSO, one of the largest parts of any normal body, even in the BNHA universe. Secondly and also relating to why the fight scene doesn't make sense to me, is that Izuku shut his pain receptor down, his quirk has nothing to do with anything like that, and for him to be able to do that with said quirk would make it a monstrous amount of control. Couple the above factors with the fact that Izuku blew up the villain's eyeballs without you showing us any kind of thought revealing that he knew the villain would regenerate them or reform them makes it seem like Izuku really isn't the best hero candidate, and if All Might still decided to call him the ideal successor after seeing that then I am gobsmacked that this is rated M. As I would say most mature readers would immediately be like "Wait, what?" at that. So to summarise, pay more attention to how you tell the story (give us a glimpse into the characters' minds/thoughts), make sure events are consistent with logic (telekinetic quirk doing telekinetic things, not making it feel like a body control quirk), try to make the characters act their age (a 14 year old Izuku just popped this villain's eyeballs. Which makes him seem like a psycho without the confirmation that he knows that the villain has regenerative abilities) and lastly, stick your summary at least a little bit. So far the only thing weak about Izuku's quirk is the weight limit and possibly the range versus middle distance and up fighters). On that note though, best of luck with your future writing endeavours, I hope you try to read through my opinions and at least consider them.
Hey man, so I'll be straight up with you. I don't like your story, but I thought I'd give my 2 cents and try to constructive about it. Your grammar is very good, I also think the general idea has a lot of potential, so great job on those two areas! However, I think my primary dislike for this story comes from how generally fast paced and basic it is. There isn't much variation in the lengths of the sentences, almost every sentence feels like there was little interest behind writing it initially. To delve further, the fight scene was again very basic and overall didn't make much sense. For example, the villain getting "lucky" when he landed a hit to Izuku's TORSO, one of the largest parts of any normal body, even in the BNHA universe. Secondly and also relating to why the fight scene doesn't make sense to me, is that Izuku shut his pain receptor down, his quirk has nothing to do with anything like that, and for him to be able to do that with said quirk would make it a monstrous amount of control. Couple the above factors with the fact that Izuku blew up the villain's eyeballs without you showing us any kind of thought revealing that he knew the villain would regenerate them or reform them makes it seem like Izuku really isn't the best hero candidate, and if All Might still decided to call him the ideal successor after seeing that then I am gobsmacked that this is rated M. As I would say most mature readers would immediately be like "Wait, what?" at that. So to summarise, pay more attention to how you tell the story (give us a glimpse into the characters' minds/thoughts), make sure events are consistent with logic (telekinetic quirk doing telekinetic things, not making it feel like a body control quirk), try to make the characters act their age (a 14 year old Izuku just popped this villain's eyeballs. Which makes him seem like a psycho without the confirmation that he knows that the villain has regenerative abilities) and lastly, stick your summary at least a little bit. So far the only thing weak about Izuku's quirk is the weight limit and possibly the range versus middle distance and up fighters). On that note though, best of luck with your future writing endeavours, I hope you try to read through my opinions and at least consider them.
1/30/2021 c1 Argo Devilian
this whole story lacks impact but I'm not really sure why.
...wait so he disassembled a camera, then is going to reassemble it later.
...you realize whatever "memory" that thing had is probably gone right? since it's most likely electrical? Reassembly won't fix that.
ok so lack of impact and confusing ass quirk.
this whole story lacks impact but I'm not really sure why.
...wait so he disassembled a camera, then is going to reassemble it later.
...you realize whatever "memory" that thing had is probably gone right? since it's most likely electrical? Reassembly won't fix that.
ok so lack of impact and confusing ass quirk.
1/27/2021 c1 penguingreen
that was a ridiculous stupid reason not to go to UA. "Oh yeah? you're going to UA? Then I'm not going there, even though UA is the best Hero Academy" How fucking pathetic does that sound? And he just decided that instantly.
well that sucked
that was a ridiculous stupid reason not to go to UA. "Oh yeah? you're going to UA? Then I'm not going there, even though UA is the best Hero Academy" How fucking pathetic does that sound? And he just decided that instantly.
well that sucked
12/6/2020 c43 50acosta perez jose ramiro
This Hawk will no longer reproduce.
Great chapter here.
Keep the good writing.
50acosta perez jose ramiroThis Hawk will no longer reproduce.
Great chapter here.
Keep the good writing.
12/6/2020 c2 beerme
every story that i have read were midoriya has a telekinesis quirk the writer always give him an older sister thats a hero and gos by tornado. why?
every story that i have read were midoriya has a telekinesis quirk the writer always give him an older sister thats a hero and gos by tornado. why?
11/11/2020 c42 2BlackRoseFire
Awesome story. I admittedly only clicked it because of the title. I did get a nice surprise though.
2BlackRoseFireAwesome story. I admittedly only clicked it because of the title. I did get a nice surprise though.
11/5/2020 c42 50acosta perez jose ramiro
Very cool chapter here.
I'm glad the glitch is finally fixed.
Keep the good writing.
50acosta perez jose ramiroVery cool chapter here.
I'm glad the glitch is finally fixed.
Keep the good writing.