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for The Silver Wolf: For Crown Or Country

3/31/2020 c2 1aaronmag
Here you are feeding information a little at a time! It might be too little since I am like, “what happened in that game of chess?”

But that isn’t a bad thing. It is good to make the reader wonder. This overall does a good job of introducing a character since we learned a lot in a short chapter.

1) He is rich.
2) He is flamboyant
3) He and his father have a bit of a rocky relationship.
4) he dreams big
5) He is artistic

It am intrigued on where you are planning on taking this character.
3/31/2020 c1 aaronmag
I love Greyhawk so I decided to give your chapter 1 a read.

Overall it reads well and it is obvious you have thought through this character’s backstory in great detail. And his backstory and motivation is really good. I like the whole angle of the crown. I also like that he is a gnome warrior.

The one thing I would say, however, is some of this needs to be woven into the narrative and not given to us all at once. Let us see what motivates him through some action. By action it doesn’t have to be a fight scene or anything. For example he is buying supplies for his next expedition for the crown. We, the readers, will wonder, “Where is he going? Why?” And you can feed it to us as he get drawn in.

I’ll check out chapter 2 as them I will probably see more of his current events than his past...

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