FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Last Prayer

12/24/2021 c42 Elchabon
Cool chapter.
Merry Christmas!.
12/20/2021 c5 shackbenzie
fucking sick
12/15/2021 c1 Bivy
personally I'm just gonna pretend they are they same age as in Canon because they act way to young and immature to be otherwise or I will keep being bothered by how innocent they are at "16".
12/11/2021 c42 Nice
Nice
12/12/2021 c42 79YeagerMeister31
Well as always a long chapter always good nice lemons and there officially married, can't wait for more
12/12/2021 c21 Lunar3cho
Lovin it...book has everything I would ever want in a novel, I.e, sex, fights and Technical innovations with jutsu..
12/12/2021 c20 Lunar3cho
Action was awesome!
12/11/2021 c2 Lunar3cho
Lovin it so far
12/11/2021 c1 Lunar3cho
"friendship pill"
12/11/2021 c42 Jrb1
just binge read this whole thing in 3 days at work it's a great story can't wait for more!
12/9/2021 c1 Un1verse
The heck. I didn't know you could put emojis in this site. lol
12/8/2021 c5 1DragonKing564
And with this chapter, I can’t stomach continuing this story. If I’m being quite honest, there are a ton of things that turned me off about this story, so here we go:

First of all, you state early on that the characters are older then they are but you still have them operate as if they were younger. You can tell me that Naruto is 16 all you want, but he still acts like a naive, moronic 13 year old. At 16 a character would’ve grown up to some extent. I can ignore this though because seeing mental growth for a character like Naruto isn’t a bad thing.

Second, all the female characters you mention early on being in Naruto’s harem are generally incredibly unlikeable in the slightest. Kurenai being disgusted with things that Naruto does is so completely out of character for Kurenai it frankly feels like you’ve degraded her character completely. And then there is Ini and what she did to Sakura. That left me feeling so sickened and disgusted. Essentially you wrote Ino to have mentally and physically raped Sakura, and all I can hope for is that the character is thrown in prison and we never see her again. Sakura acting the way she does to Naruto this early on is normal for the series but not to this extent. You’ve exacerbated the negatives of every character or even invented completely new negatives while completely ignoring any positive aspects of the characters.

Third, the incredibly gross description of Naruto’s dick. I’m sorry, that frankly disgusted me. Why on earth would you think it was a good idea to do that to Naruto, seriously?!

And fourth, your writing is incredibly disjointed, jumping around between perspectives at the drop of a hat, and to characters that the reader doesn’t give a damn about at this moment. It’s fine to an extent, especially in chapter 1 to bring up the blue pill that Choji’s mom grabbed which I was able to pick out in the chapter with the Ino X Naruto time. But jumping around perspectives so often can make the story telling incredibly disjointed and difficult to read.

I wanted to like the story, I really did. The concept was really interesting and could’ve led to some very cool story beats overall. But I feel you spent way too much time making me hate the characters and trying to write incredibly explicit sex scenes that all of that is lost.
12/7/2021 c42 Calm Dragons
If you can't incorporate Tenten anymore, may I suggest trying to bring Kurotsuchi? As of now, the only Nation not affiliated with Naruto is Iwagakure.

With all these talk about Naruto being the Fourth's son, I'm surprised that Onoki hasn't made a move yet, I could very well see him sending her to gather information and get close to Naruto.

Bringing her in would align with Naruto's idea of bringing the five elemental nations together as well.
12/7/2021 c33 Calm Dragons
Jiraiya will be so proud!
12/7/2021 c42 knulllgTott
Thank you for this gem of a ff. Just caught up and i am actually pretty Sad there is no more to read.

Keep up the good work!
4,568 « Prev Page 1 .. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 21 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service