for The Last Prayer3/31/2019 c6 
12MindForged
Look, I'm trying to give this story a chance because the writing is sound on a technical level, but your execution of the plot is doing an excellent job away. No one here is likeable, and you seem to be way too into having Naruto physically harmed and berated. To the extent that this is nearly indistinguishable from a bashing story, a policy towards which I have is that they are inherently bad. It makes this frustrating to read because there is no way, none at all, to turn believably. Kurenai has just assaulted another member of a formal military, a child no less. Ino forced Sakura to be raped. I mean come on.
These people are objectively shit and they've done things that can't be taken back, yet that's exactly what you have to do going forward. What were you going for? I'll give it a couple more chapters but I've just about had my fill of how the plot and characters have progressed already.
12MindForgedLook, I'm trying to give this story a chance because the writing is sound on a technical level, but your execution of the plot is doing an excellent job away. No one here is likeable, and you seem to be way too into having Naruto physically harmed and berated. To the extent that this is nearly indistinguishable from a bashing story, a policy towards which I have is that they are inherently bad. It makes this frustrating to read because there is no way, none at all, to turn believably. Kurenai has just assaulted another member of a formal military, a child no less. Ino forced Sakura to be raped. I mean come on.
These people are objectively shit and they've done things that can't be taken back, yet that's exactly what you have to do going forward. What were you going for? I'll give it a couple more chapters but I've just about had my fill of how the plot and characters have progressed already.
3/31/2019 c6 InfinityMask
I really hope things change with kurenai soon. It's getting annoying how she treated Naruto...
I really hope things change with kurenai soon. It's getting annoying how she treated Naruto...
3/31/2019 c6 1Bigjo21
I'd like to see you add Anko into the Harem , having her teach him how to seduce women and him helping her to open that closed off heart of hers
1Bigjo21I'd like to see you add Anko into the Harem , having her teach him how to seduce women and him helping her to open that closed off heart of hers
3/31/2019 c6 Fuyuriku
emotional Shut-In is
shut-in* unless intentional
I have sometime before
some time
silky in its buoyancy
Buoyancy (/ˈbɔɪ.ənsi, ˈbuːjən-/)[1][2] or upthrust, is an upward force exerted by a fluid that opposes the weight of an immersed object
So, not entirely sure that's the correct word here.
and Kurenai felt body move
and Kurenai felt her body move
whaa da phluck
whaa da phuck* dare you to say phluck when trying to say fuck. One doesn't use your tongue, the other does.
Ino is still very much within the powerful orbit of her womanizing and the partner
within the orbit of her womanizing?
that you're love for
your
bullshite!
bullshit!* unless intentional
_
Thank you for the read.
emotional Shut-In is
shut-in* unless intentional
I have sometime before
some time
silky in its buoyancy
Buoyancy (/ˈbɔɪ.ənsi, ˈbuːjən-/)[1][2] or upthrust, is an upward force exerted by a fluid that opposes the weight of an immersed object
So, not entirely sure that's the correct word here.
and Kurenai felt body move
and Kurenai felt her body move
whaa da phluck
whaa da phuck* dare you to say phluck when trying to say fuck. One doesn't use your tongue, the other does.
Ino is still very much within the powerful orbit of her womanizing and the partner
within the orbit of her womanizing?
that you're love for
your
bullshite!
bullshit!* unless intentional
_
Thank you for the read.
3/31/2019 c6 16slythefoxx2
Most of your characters are horrible people and I'm not sure why' I'd be interested in them developing relationships. I'd rather Naruto kill Kurenai than fuck her at this point.
16slythefoxx2Most of your characters are horrible people and I'm not sure why' I'd be interested in them developing relationships. I'd rather Naruto kill Kurenai than fuck her at this point.
3/31/2019 c6 biginferno
great chapter, if you can't make Samui or Mei work how about Tayuya and Yugito
great chapter, if you can't make Samui or Mei work how about Tayuya and Yugito
3/31/2019 c5 asighoaighnqllg
This story is off a great start and the lemon quality is good. I look forward to reading more. Update soon please.
This story is off a great start and the lemon quality is good. I look forward to reading more. Update soon please.
3/31/2019 c1 1PriceTage
-She was to hot to die-
the truest words i have ever seen on this site
but so was tayuya
1PriceTage-She was to hot to die-
the truest words i have ever seen on this site
but so was tayuya
3/31/2019 c5 44TokehGecko
Excellent Chapter!
Though I feel Sakura will be very much traumatized. You kind of flew over this, but this will have drastic changes to Sakura's treatment of Naruto. I really am curious how you will deal with the damage done to Sakura.
Ino is actually pretty IC in doing this, judging from her earlier characterization in Canon.
Kurenai's perspective is IC, but a bit lacking in the understanding department of Naruto's situation. You know, the hated PARENT-less Jinchuuriki that no one cares about enough to teach anything to? Like cleaning up after yourself or simple manners?
I do understand the slow buildup for her, though. I like how you're setting her up to inevitably come tumbling down.
How about Shizune in your plans? She's always been a docile, background character and thus, one that easily slips in.
I wonder if the theme you have going in the story persists: Everyone being a total shitbag to Naruto, but Naruto not caring because he actually has a lot of sex anyway. Leaves the reader wanting justification, but also not caring because Naruto scores in the end no matter what anyone says or does.
It makes for a very entertaining, not to mention addictive, read.
Thank you
44TokehGeckoExcellent Chapter!
Though I feel Sakura will be very much traumatized. You kind of flew over this, but this will have drastic changes to Sakura's treatment of Naruto. I really am curious how you will deal with the damage done to Sakura.
Ino is actually pretty IC in doing this, judging from her earlier characterization in Canon.
Kurenai's perspective is IC, but a bit lacking in the understanding department of Naruto's situation. You know, the hated PARENT-less Jinchuuriki that no one cares about enough to teach anything to? Like cleaning up after yourself or simple manners?
I do understand the slow buildup for her, though. I like how you're setting her up to inevitably come tumbling down.
How about Shizune in your plans? She's always been a docile, background character and thus, one that easily slips in.
I wonder if the theme you have going in the story persists: Everyone being a total shitbag to Naruto, but Naruto not caring because he actually has a lot of sex anyway. Leaves the reader wanting justification, but also not caring because Naruto scores in the end no matter what anyone says or does.
It makes for a very entertaining, not to mention addictive, read.
Thank you
3/31/2019 c5 80YeagerMeister31
I want to say before you read this review that I do like this story it's interesting, yes it's kind of weird also but I've enjoyed every chapter even if my reviews don't seem to show that. I hope you don't take to much offence to it as it wasn't my intention just some queries and thoughts on the story.
This interesting to say the least although some things frustrate me one of the major things is Kurenai, her outright disgust of Naruto in a way makes sense the Kyubi (not Naruto) killed her dad and she's taking it out on Naruto, the fact she's a total bitch to him annoys me and forcingt Naruto to help Hinata's an absolute joke, I mean seriously and she's not even paying him to waste his time with the Hyuga.
I think the fact Naruto's appartment is such a pigsty and he's fine with it is disturbing and I'm curious why his older self who's most likely smarter then his younger self hasn't told him to have a bit of pride in his apartment, the fact it's normal for Naruto is disturbing.
Sometimes I don't know if this stories a comedy or not, there are so many things that are frustrating, Also the fact that Kurenai's supposed to fall for Naruto right now makes 0 sense.
The fact the older Naruto states that he loves Sakura but is asking his younger self to get closer to that traitiorous teme Uchiha makes 0 sense also. I can understand she's getting stronger I mean she's already making headway by learning Iryo techniques is good but how in the blue hell is that going to help Naruto at all, it's only gonna make her fall for that emo fucktard Uchiha even more.
I am curious also on the fact the the older Naruto seems to state that Hinata's one of the strongest Kunoichi's IN WHAT UNIVERSE. Somethings just don't make sense to me.
The end part was kind of cruel for Ino but then again Sakura was being a total bitch, the mere thought of what she was saying kind of maked me feel like gagging lol.
Ino's payback was amusing and a total bitch move that nobody but her could pull off, in a way this may make Sakura change which is good.
Ino's feelings are confusing it's like Jekyl and Hyde a part of her still wants that loser Uchiha and another part wants Naruto, it's amusingand weird. I do wonder what happens next.
80YeagerMeister31I want to say before you read this review that I do like this story it's interesting, yes it's kind of weird also but I've enjoyed every chapter even if my reviews don't seem to show that. I hope you don't take to much offence to it as it wasn't my intention just some queries and thoughts on the story.
This interesting to say the least although some things frustrate me one of the major things is Kurenai, her outright disgust of Naruto in a way makes sense the Kyubi (not Naruto) killed her dad and she's taking it out on Naruto, the fact she's a total bitch to him annoys me and forcingt Naruto to help Hinata's an absolute joke, I mean seriously and she's not even paying him to waste his time with the Hyuga.
I think the fact Naruto's appartment is such a pigsty and he's fine with it is disturbing and I'm curious why his older self who's most likely smarter then his younger self hasn't told him to have a bit of pride in his apartment, the fact it's normal for Naruto is disturbing.
Sometimes I don't know if this stories a comedy or not, there are so many things that are frustrating, Also the fact that Kurenai's supposed to fall for Naruto right now makes 0 sense.
The fact the older Naruto states that he loves Sakura but is asking his younger self to get closer to that traitiorous teme Uchiha makes 0 sense also. I can understand she's getting stronger I mean she's already making headway by learning Iryo techniques is good but how in the blue hell is that going to help Naruto at all, it's only gonna make her fall for that emo fucktard Uchiha even more.
I am curious also on the fact the the older Naruto seems to state that Hinata's one of the strongest Kunoichi's IN WHAT UNIVERSE. Somethings just don't make sense to me.
The end part was kind of cruel for Ino but then again Sakura was being a total bitch, the mere thought of what she was saying kind of maked me feel like gagging lol.
Ino's payback was amusing and a total bitch move that nobody but her could pull off, in a way this may make Sakura change which is good.
Ino's feelings are confusing it's like Jekyl and Hyde a part of her still wants that loser Uchiha and another part wants Naruto, it's amusingand weird. I do wonder what happens next.
3/31/2019 c5 Fuyuriku
will posse an issue
pose
Uzumaki-kun, however, isn't her student and doesn't care nearly as much.
and she doesn't care*?
than it'll
then
It's been soo long
'soo' being intentional here, I suppose
When he thighs tense
his
_
Not sure what to think of the story. So I'll keep reading it for now.
_
Thank you for the read.
will posse an issue
pose
Uzumaki-kun, however, isn't her student and doesn't care nearly as much.
and she doesn't care*?
than it'll
then
It's been soo long
'soo' being intentional here, I suppose
When he thighs tense
his
_
Not sure what to think of the story. So I'll keep reading it for now.
_
Thank you for the read.
3/29/2019 c4 Guest
Karin for 8th. Naruto would argue to save his clan upon learning of her from the future. And being a full blood uzumaki the sex would last days. Also him saving her rather than sasuke lines up perfectly for the upcoming forest of death/exams saga.
On another note keep it up. So far its been an amazing read.
Karin for 8th. Naruto would argue to save his clan upon learning of her from the future. And being a full blood uzumaki the sex would last days. Also him saving her rather than sasuke lines up perfectly for the upcoming forest of death/exams saga.
On another note keep it up. So far its been an amazing read.