for In the name of Earth and Balaho, till the bitter end!12/5/2020 c1 lord blackburn
je vois se que vous voulez dire dans votre comparaison en fin de chapitre mais vous avez oubliez de calculer la vitesse de l'évolution humaine ( c'etait la raison du choix des précurseur par rapport au forerunner ) qui en quelque millénaire ou même centaine d'année a développer des technologie qu'il ne devait avoir en 10 000 ans ou plus exemple le slipsace FTL qui n'a était développer en 200 ans ère spatial malgré le manque de R&D a ce sujet bon courage avec vos travaux ce se genre de fan-fic
je vois se que vous voulez dire dans votre comparaison en fin de chapitre mais vous avez oubliez de calculer la vitesse de l'évolution humaine ( c'etait la raison du choix des précurseur par rapport au forerunner ) qui en quelque millénaire ou même centaine d'année a développer des technologie qu'il ne devait avoir en 10 000 ans ou plus exemple le slipsace FTL qui n'a était développer en 200 ans ère spatial malgré le manque de R&D a ce sujet bon courage avec vos travaux ce se genre de fan-fic
5/28/2020 c6 
2mrneb
You're mixing up your tenses between past and present in the bulk of your descriptive sentences. You should stick with past tense in your sentences unless it's dialogue.
As for your dialogue, you should start a new paragraph every time there's a new speaker. That's a standard rule. It helps with readability as a lot of your dialogue is buried in the middle of your paragraphs, which makes for difficult reading.
Either than that, good story and please continue.
2mrnebYou're mixing up your tenses between past and present in the bulk of your descriptive sentences. You should stick with past tense in your sentences unless it's dialogue.
As for your dialogue, you should start a new paragraph every time there's a new speaker. That's a standard rule. It helps with readability as a lot of your dialogue is buried in the middle of your paragraphs, which makes for difficult reading.
Either than that, good story and please continue.
4/20/2020 c7 William
Hey so i posted the three long reviews at the end in your review answering. My question is how are you planning on making the lasers feasible? As you still need a power source even with a one to one ratio you still need a massive power source to make that work. Nothing smaller than a battleship should be capable of producing enough power at current generation levels. The lasers also have their own issues in increased fuel consumption that you dont run into near as much with rail guns. However the increased maintenance costs of a rail gun can be somewhat mitigated by transfering to a coil gun which while more power heavy removes the recoil of a rail gun and most maintenance costs. The same issue of nothing smaller than a battleship for power generation applies.
Hey so i posted the three long reviews at the end in your review answering. My question is how are you planning on making the lasers feasible? As you still need a power source even with a one to one ratio you still need a massive power source to make that work. Nothing smaller than a battleship should be capable of producing enough power at current generation levels. The lasers also have their own issues in increased fuel consumption that you dont run into near as much with rail guns. However the increased maintenance costs of a rail gun can be somewhat mitigated by transfering to a coil gun which while more power heavy removes the recoil of a rail gun and most maintenance costs. The same issue of nothing smaller than a battleship for power generation applies.
4/20/2020 c5 Guest
Oh, you altered the timeline because the right wing winers flooded the review section. Why did you buckle? Let the whiners whine.
There are supposed site rules about religion and politics, but they are so incredibly lenient that basically anything goes. There are stories and whole accounts which openly advocate national socialism and praise Adolf Hitler as the best politician of all time. Story example: The galaxy under an iron heel. Supposedly an alternate ending of Wolfenstein, but halfway through the first chapter it becomes obvious that the author just advertises the real life Third Reich as the best thing that ever happened in human history. User example: ReichTangle. Unashamedly praises the Anschluss of Austria prior to WWII and otherwise spreads national socialist or simply racist talking points. Both have been doing this with impunity for years. The mods have no issues with open nazism ( or there are simply too few of them to effectively look after those things), so a bit of Trump criticism won't get you in any trouble from their side.
Last but not least: Many, many fanfic timelines have the USA as the driving force behind some golden future for humanity when the author is based in the US. So you put your own country and its allies in that role. That is not against site rules even in theory. If some US or Russia based reader feels offended by the fact that other people have patriotic feelings too, that is hardly your problem. If someone denies the human made impact on climate change, that is hardly your problem. Just do not buckle. Keep true to yourself. And when those poor nationalists and climate change deniers come crying because you hurt their sensitive feelings by daring to display an opinion different from their own, open a can of beer, lean back, and enjoy your fucking human right of free speech.
Oh, you altered the timeline because the right wing winers flooded the review section. Why did you buckle? Let the whiners whine.
There are supposed site rules about religion and politics, but they are so incredibly lenient that basically anything goes. There are stories and whole accounts which openly advocate national socialism and praise Adolf Hitler as the best politician of all time. Story example: The galaxy under an iron heel. Supposedly an alternate ending of Wolfenstein, but halfway through the first chapter it becomes obvious that the author just advertises the real life Third Reich as the best thing that ever happened in human history. User example: ReichTangle. Unashamedly praises the Anschluss of Austria prior to WWII and otherwise spreads national socialist or simply racist talking points. Both have been doing this with impunity for years. The mods have no issues with open nazism ( or there are simply too few of them to effectively look after those things), so a bit of Trump criticism won't get you in any trouble from their side.
Last but not least: Many, many fanfic timelines have the USA as the driving force behind some golden future for humanity when the author is based in the US. So you put your own country and its allies in that role. That is not against site rules even in theory. If some US or Russia based reader feels offended by the fact that other people have patriotic feelings too, that is hardly your problem. If someone denies the human made impact on climate change, that is hardly your problem. Just do not buckle. Keep true to yourself. And when those poor nationalists and climate change deniers come crying because you hurt their sensitive feelings by daring to display an opinion different from their own, open a can of beer, lean back, and enjoy your fucking human right of free speech.
4/20/2020 c7 Guest
bro add t-56b power armor from fallout so the religion force have a paladin knights pls
ps: love work keep it up
bro add t-56b power armor from fallout so the religion force have a paladin knights pls
ps: love work keep it up
4/19/2020 c5 Guest
I get why you had trump be the "bad guy" but there are three things you may not have considered: 1 that you could have easily made it as if some unknown president won the 2016 or 2020 election as this is an au so some unknown/differnet president would work. 2. That laser weaponry isn't something we can use outside of incredibly massive power sources as you almost get a 3 watts in to 1 watt out at target granted that varies depending on range and laser type so from a military standpoint rail guns are far more versatile and powerful for what you put in. As in order for a laser to be effective you need to be in the megawatts range while for the same megawatts put in to a rail gun you get similar in and at target power. 3 coal power in the United states is actually cleaner for the environment than nuclear or wind power. This is done through air scrubbers and filters on the outflow as well as burning extremely hot to reduce ash where as nuclear power always has the risk of some natural disaster ruining the surrounding landscape for years like in Chernobyl or in the more recent earthquakes in Japan. While wind is actually quite deadly to flying creatures. Coal powers carbon footprint is similar to that of an electron solar panel but greater than that of a steam solar plant. It is also comparable to that of a wind turbine.
While everyone on the news will tell you that fossil fuels are ruining the planet and we are all going to die if we dont get carbon neutral within the next what ten years now. In America the emissions test for using fossil fuels of any variety puts out a smaller carbon footprint than many of the new carbon/enviromentally friendly green new car power whatever you choose. A Prius has a 3 times larger carbon footprint than a hummer over the course of 10 years or 200 thousand miles whichever comes first. Over 90 percent of the carbon emissions worldwide are not man made well 78 percent if you take out forest fires which may or may not be man made. What I'm saying is that to much panic is being placed on carbon emmisions where we should focus is not on catbon emissions but on oxygen emissions. If we can get those to match then we dont have anything to worry about. It's not that suddenly we shot up in how much carbon we produce if anything we leveled off what changed was the amount of trees to absorb and eat the carbon and let out oxygen and damage to oceanic bacteria that has slowed down and made the problem look much worse than it is.
I get why you had trump be the "bad guy" but there are three things you may not have considered: 1 that you could have easily made it as if some unknown president won the 2016 or 2020 election as this is an au so some unknown/differnet president would work. 2. That laser weaponry isn't something we can use outside of incredibly massive power sources as you almost get a 3 watts in to 1 watt out at target granted that varies depending on range and laser type so from a military standpoint rail guns are far more versatile and powerful for what you put in. As in order for a laser to be effective you need to be in the megawatts range while for the same megawatts put in to a rail gun you get similar in and at target power. 3 coal power in the United states is actually cleaner for the environment than nuclear or wind power. This is done through air scrubbers and filters on the outflow as well as burning extremely hot to reduce ash where as nuclear power always has the risk of some natural disaster ruining the surrounding landscape for years like in Chernobyl or in the more recent earthquakes in Japan. While wind is actually quite deadly to flying creatures. Coal powers carbon footprint is similar to that of an electron solar panel but greater than that of a steam solar plant. It is also comparable to that of a wind turbine.
While everyone on the news will tell you that fossil fuels are ruining the planet and we are all going to die if we dont get carbon neutral within the next what ten years now. In America the emissions test for using fossil fuels of any variety puts out a smaller carbon footprint than many of the new carbon/enviromentally friendly green new car power whatever you choose. A Prius has a 3 times larger carbon footprint than a hummer over the course of 10 years or 200 thousand miles whichever comes first. Over 90 percent of the carbon emissions worldwide are not man made well 78 percent if you take out forest fires which may or may not be man made. What I'm saying is that to much panic is being placed on carbon emmisions where we should focus is not on catbon emissions but on oxygen emissions. If we can get those to match then we dont have anything to worry about. It's not that suddenly we shot up in how much carbon we produce if anything we leveled off what changed was the amount of trees to absorb and eat the carbon and let out oxygen and damage to oceanic bacteria that has slowed down and made the problem look much worse than it is.
4/19/2020 c6 Guest
This chapter seems to have jumped past several important pieces of information. For example who is the admiral teaching and how did he get the information. How come the turbans are inside the sol system fighting on one of the planets? This makes the story clunky and confusing if you could clear this up on the next chapter that would be greatly appreciated
This chapter seems to have jumped past several important pieces of information. For example who is the admiral teaching and how did he get the information. How come the turbans are inside the sol system fighting on one of the planets? This makes the story clunky and confusing if you could clear this up on the next chapter that would be greatly appreciated
4/19/2020 c4 Guest
Just an fyi both america and russia have had lasers capable of shooting down ICBM since the early to mid 70s though ridiculously expensive to build the maintenance cost is practically nonexistent basically run off a supercomputer 7 lasers hit a mirror at an exact spot bouncing it up onto a mirror in upper atmosphere then bouncing off other mirrors until it is aimed down at the final target. The lasers arent capable of destroying a tank as it is grounded and some of the energy is lost but of ruining the electronics needed to make the missile work or making liquid fuel explode.
Just an fyi both america and russia have had lasers capable of shooting down ICBM since the early to mid 70s though ridiculously expensive to build the maintenance cost is practically nonexistent basically run off a supercomputer 7 lasers hit a mirror at an exact spot bouncing it up onto a mirror in upper atmosphere then bouncing off other mirrors until it is aimed down at the final target. The lasers arent capable of destroying a tank as it is grounded and some of the energy is lost but of ruining the electronics needed to make the missile work or making liquid fuel explode.
4/17/2020 c1 Guest
Can’t wait for more keep up the good work.
Can’t wait for more keep up the good work.
12/14/2019 c5 AbyssWatcher
Really should've left out the politics. Also why did you mention the railguns being unreliable but end up being used later on anyways?Just seems 't wait fo the next chapter though!
Really should've left out the politics. Also why did you mention the railguns being unreliable but end up being used later on anyways?Just seems 't wait fo the next chapter though!
12/11/2019 c1 Varigonx
the Spartan II's were abducted at 6 years of age and trained for the next 8 years harder than seasoned marines. and augmented beyond merely what genetic modifications would account for
the Spartan II's were abducted at 6 years of age and trained for the next 8 years harder than seasoned marines. and augmented beyond merely what genetic modifications would account for
12/10/2019 c5 Axccel
We get it, you dislike Trump for not taking shit and being against giving you free money. So, like anyone against truth, you make stuff up and believe it’s true “because it is”. Funnily enough, reality doesn’t care. People can say all the crap they want but reality won’t change for them. Like Trump silencing the press...the media is so loud and in-your-face no one can honestly claim that. Or that racism is big in the US when practically no one here has ever seen or experienced racism and they just claim its racist that the free stuff they’re given is not on par with the things everyone else earns (it is, though, but they imagine white people have better everything).
And countries who only have social healthcare and more because another country gives them money can’t contribute to anything in a meaningful way as they lack the economic strength to do so. Buying power would shrink drastically if that money was withheld. Which is why the EU is basically just handshaking and rules without substance.
We get it, you dislike Trump for not taking shit and being against giving you free money. So, like anyone against truth, you make stuff up and believe it’s true “because it is”. Funnily enough, reality doesn’t care. People can say all the crap they want but reality won’t change for them. Like Trump silencing the press...the media is so loud and in-your-face no one can honestly claim that. Or that racism is big in the US when practically no one here has ever seen or experienced racism and they just claim its racist that the free stuff they’re given is not on par with the things everyone else earns (it is, though, but they imagine white people have better everything).
And countries who only have social healthcare and more because another country gives them money can’t contribute to anything in a meaningful way as they lack the economic strength to do so. Buying power would shrink drastically if that money was withheld. Which is why the EU is basically just handshaking and rules without substance.