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4/22/2020 c1 SincerelyScarlet
I don’t know this fandom, so there were probably a lot of things that went over my head, but I did enjoy reading the first two chapters! You really gave me a feel for the family’s quirkiness and chaotic lifestyle, and I have a good grasp on the characters’ personalities from reading this fic, even though I’m not familiar with the characters themselves.

Also, I really liked how you wrote the point-of-view character. She’s obviously on the younger side, and you just really captured the way she would see things, which is something a lot of writers struggle with in my opinion. But it was done really well here!
11/6/2019 c11 1blueandie
["Well, if you don't wanna kill me, I guess it's okay," Sid said, still a little nervous.] - Ha, this was a good line! There was a reluctant innocence about it that I enjoyed. Enjoyed Luan's offended tone about Sid wearing a costume without knowing the show it originated from, and then the reluctant working through the process of when they also appreciated content without interacting with the original content.

["...And now, for something I should've done a long time ago." / "Properly introduced yourself?"] - Also enjoyed this exchange, followed by Luan's introduction of herself.
10/1/2019 c1 Guest
Chat/Script format is not allowed on this site. You'll need to change this to traditional story format in order to keep it here. Or, you can move this to another site that allows for this type of format. This has been reported. Please respect the site rules, that you agreed to, from now on.

P.S. Will be checking to make sure all stories are in compliance with the Rules.
9/11/2019 c9 blueandie
[Lucy, you're not gonna like hearing this, but...You are not a ghost. When you were hit with that hammer, it didn't kill you. It turned you into chocolate.]

This is such a bizarre but wonderful idea. Liked that Lucy's reaction was simply to be disappointed she wasn't a ghost, and that there were a number of other frozen chocolates in the freezer that were in fact the others that lived there...and therefore, they weren't edible. As always, your excerpts surprise me with their ingenuity and humour. Liked the memoriam at the end of the chapter.
8/2/2019 c1 21Temujin the Obliterator
At first I wasn't sure about the format, but in the end I'll admit I was quite impressed with your ability to carry a story mainly through dialogue. Your ability to establish unique and consistent character voices was also done well. And while it was in script form it certainly didn't feel scripted. The dialogue felt natural and flowed well with good character interactions. The only suggestion I could add possibly a few more breaks showing physical actions between the dialogue.
7/17/2019 c6 35TheChargingRhino
It's about time. You kept him in character, good.
Lisa, why did you do that? That wasn't very nice.

(I wanna collab again, DM me please)
6/23/2019 c2 1blueandie
“Lisa was in her room, trying to find a cure for the chocolatization that had effected her family” – Fandom blind here, but very entertaining first line. It set up the quirkiness of the dialogue that came afterwards nicely! Really enjoyed the exchange about the Pokemon gyms, especially this line – “Pokemon Gyms aren’t a place where people go to exercise. Please tell me you knew that” – I could hear the sassy and slightly exasperated tone this line was delivered with, and it was a good example of the banter that filled this chapter.

[Luan: It’s Anthony. / Lana: You do know Anthony died, right? / Luan: Not that Anthony.] - Loved this bit of dialogue. The TV text changing to “Nope” was great as well and I liked that this dialogue throughout this just flowed, it felt like you were sitting in the living room watching them throw lines back and forth.

“I don’t know. Nobody does. She just woke up one day and was suddenly a lot dumber than I ever was.” – this was great. Liked the fourth wall nod at the end, very clever - the dialogue was a lot of fun, and I liked how surreal their situation was!
5/27/2019 c3 35TheChargingRhino
Still very...interesting...
When's Scor gonna show up?
5/27/2019 c1 TheChargingRhino
So this is Special. Very...Interesting...
5/8/2019 c2 7LadyoftheSea516
This was an intriguing read! I liked the banter back and forth between the characters and the non-sensical and humorous nature of the topics they were discussing. I really liked this interaction especially:

[Lisa: I would like to try the noodles with butter.
Lana: There's no way it's gonna be good.
Lisa: I still wanna try it though.]

I could set up an entire scene in my head where these characters were just being goofy with one another, it was a nice read and a welcome change of pace from the (dark) stories I usually read. Thank you for sharing!

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