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12/14/2020 c17 Guest
why do you keep using the word sans it grammatical incorrect
12/14/2020 c9 Guest
while the fight was good I would say 2 bolt rounds killing a chaos astarte is a bit overestimating the power of bolt round as it takes half or queter of the clip hittimg a simpler area of armour to breach power armour astartes fight each other tring to aim at thin armour like the head eye peices joints and the mk 7 has a flaw that if a bolt round uits tye chest it very likely going to bounce up at the astartes chin and detonate inside his head tyere is a reason why mk 8 has the raised coller to prevent this

you could have written kronos shooting those bolt rounds at the chaos marine one stiking the head and detonating weaking the helm and the last one going through the eye peice this could show our custodian skill as a efficient killing machine

as for the land raider I would have wrote it differently I would have had the las cannon shoot off its weapons which would have forced it to retreat as the threat of a marine running up with his comrades and destroying the tracks with. a krak grenade the ripping off a hatch and dropping grenades in it to kill the crew as despite that that land raider being a a formidble tank it had no infantry support very bad idea in a city as from statlingrad streets that made going forwards are back made the biggest killer of tanks was infantry with bundles of explosives and man portable AT guns who destroyed the tracks and iylts machine guns then swarmed the tank Astares would have little diff

you have good skills and writing but I think that putting a bit more thought in the action would help
11/23/2020 c27 Saitofan
I liked the chapter, keep it up man.
11/22/2020 c27 Guest
Wow, this is a great chapter. I can’t wait to see what comes next
11/22/2020 c27 Opaque-Cavalier
Well done use of time skipping.
9/20/2020 c26 Bob and co
Well the guy eating his children definitely didn't traumatize me at all, I swear
9/20/2020 c4 Bob and co
So, a couple of issues, Custodian memory is eidetic and as such they can't forget shit... and I forgot the rest. You write pretty good, captured my attention and made me forget what I wanted to gripe about!
9/5/2020 c1 ameliaotherheart
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAABY! IT'S YOUR BIG SISTER, AMELIA! I FOUND YOUR FANFIC AND IT'S GREAT! KEEP UP THE WORK LITTLE BRO, XOXO, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, LITTLE BRO!

-Love, your cooler big sister.
9/3/2020 c26 AlphariusMagyar
Another chapter, hurray! I love reading this so much and having had the chance to watch it grow and evolve has been great. Please keep up the good work.
9/2/2020 c25 Kurseteller
Man, I love this story. Good job!
8/7/2020 c25 Guest
Kronos x Celestine?
7/26/2020 c25 Jeff
Pretty good if I say so myself, and I hope you keep it up.
7/26/2020 c21 Jeff
I think that shifting Mira out was a good idea, since it would be hard to outright change her charcter after the exterminatus of sors.
7/26/2020 c19 Jeff
k i have but one question. if this is a rated m fic then are we getting smut or just ultra violence
7/26/2020 c18 Jeff
Damn I kind of feel bad for Kronos, but this story be amazing even when there's no action involved. Please keep up the good work
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