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for The Rabbit Sage

11/22/2020 c6 Chicken Wings
Wait please that fourth text. I think they have to earn their reviews the hard way and build a fan base of their own.
11/22/2020 c6 Chicken Wings
Oh, wait, I forgot to add this in. I really hope you are alright and I hope you're doing well. Best of luck.

One of the secrets to defeating writer's block is to push on, don't wait for inspiration to fall in your lap.
11/22/2020 c6 Chicken Wings
One more thing, and I'll leave you alone. I have to say, you've gotten more attention, reviews, followers, and favorites in six chapters compared to a person I know that has over 20 long ones in a crossover. And that person writes really well, and is still disregarded. If you happen to come across them, give some reviews to their story; they might be happy to have someone with similar interests to rabbits.
11/22/2020 c6 Chicken Wings
For the third act here, there's so much to be expanded on in this story. Everything you put in is coming at them so fast that it feels rushed, there's barrel a moment to let the audience breathe for a few seconds.

You could add in more characterization, a lot more imagery, and just an overall expansion. Have you ever looked up other stories where Naruto gets summons or rabbit summons in general, or looked at other authors work and try to implement their habits? This story has potential, but it needs to be brushed up on.
11/22/2020 c2 Chicken Wings
2) Rabbits are capable of fighting and can be harmful of their own kind. Wheather it's fighting for a mate or fighting for mates (rabbits have been known to have harems), down to protecting their young.

Again, you should really brush up on your knowledge of rabbits and the animal kingdom.
11/22/2020 c1 Chicken Wings
Hey, it's me again. And I really want to give you my thoughts. In advance, I'm sorry if I offend you in any way.

1) Rabbits aren't lazy. They're prey animals, so it would be more likely that they're active and aware of their surroundings. And they would be more likely to frighten and scare off. I'm pretty sure Naruto would more likely become excited.

I think this conception comes from the view of domestic rabbits from indoors that are safe compared to the outdoors where it's survival of the fittest. You show this in Chapter 1 where it says that a summoner will scare of "other tribes of marsupials".

This is quite contradictory due to the fact that the rabbits you percieve to be are "lazy", but are concerned when "Marsupials" are encroaching (Good choice of word) on their land.

I'm a bit confused at this statement because if you look up the definition of Marsupials because you're referring to Kangaroos. Are you saying that kangaroos are preying on rabbits? Because it should at least be the word Predator as a substitute.

I can see you misuse it a lot instead of Mammals or Predators. You could brush up on your knowledge of the animal kingdom if you have time.
8/22/2020 c6 lilinarusasu
8/1/2020 c6 Chicken wings
Rabbits and Bunnies are the same thing. Bunnies are just used for baby rabbits or kits (the rabbit, not just the fox).

Other than that, the story and it's writing has A LOT to be expanded on and so much to fill in those gaps. Have you ever thought about getting a beta reader that could help give insight into what's wrong? And do you have an idea on where the story is going?
5/23/2020 c6 Marshman101
Hahahaha now this was a funny story
5/29/2019 c6 kevkills777
Oddly good read a rabbit becomes hokage well better than Kiba
5/21/2019 c6 Guest
It was fun while it lasted.
5/20/2019 c1 4Dom2040
Interesting story! Keep up the good work!
5/20/2019 c6 The realization
all hail Naruto's rabbit
5/20/2019 c6 5BlackDove WhiteDove
XD ahhhhh long live the Rabbit Hokage
4/27/2019 c5 BlackDove WhiteDove
XD ahahahah
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