for Meeting Eric12/5/2024 c5 Jesa76
More please
More please
3/8/2023 c5 georgiasuzy
I'm glad you're back! Thanks for the new chapter. Things are getting exciting. I was a bit confused by your overuse of the word "would", like in this paragraph:
I would feel myself be placed on the couch of the theater seat, Eric would growl and then be hovering over me. The look of lust in his eyes, I would hear him say in a seductive tone...
It sounds much better like this:
I felt myself be placed on the couch of the theater seat. Eric growled and hovered over me, the look of lust in his eyes, and said in a seductive tone...
I think you were trying to make things be in present tense or active tense or something but it was just confusing. You'll get the hang of it! You've got creative ideas and that's the most important thing. I can't wait to read more Eric and Sookie.
I'm glad you're back! Thanks for the new chapter. Things are getting exciting. I was a bit confused by your overuse of the word "would", like in this paragraph:
I would feel myself be placed on the couch of the theater seat, Eric would growl and then be hovering over me. The look of lust in his eyes, I would hear him say in a seductive tone...
It sounds much better like this:
I felt myself be placed on the couch of the theater seat. Eric growled and hovered over me, the look of lust in his eyes, and said in a seductive tone...
I think you were trying to make things be in present tense or active tense or something but it was just confusing. You'll get the hang of it! You've got creative ideas and that's the most important thing. I can't wait to read more Eric and Sookie.
11/4/2020 c4 georgiasuzy
I really like your writing exercise! I hope that Real Life gives you the chance to come back to this little story. I'm curious to see Eric and Sookie fall in love.
I really like your writing exercise! I hope that Real Life gives you the chance to come back to this little story. I'm curious to see Eric and Sookie fall in love.
11/4/2020 c3 georgiasuzy
Yay, Eric is just as fascinated as Sookie is. I wonder what kind of date he'll take her on? It doesn't seem like he's such a manwhore in this story.
Yay, Eric is just as fascinated as Sookie is. I wonder what kind of date he'll take her on? It doesn't seem like he's such a manwhore in this story.
11/4/2020 c2 georgiasuzy
Oh, Sookie's definitely attracted to Eric, especially without Bill's blood distracting her. Will there be an Eric POV? Can't wait to see.
Oh, Sookie's definitely attracted to Eric, especially without Bill's blood distracting her. Will there be an Eric POV? Can't wait to see.
11/4/2020 c1 georgiasuzy
Well, they're on the way to Fangtasia and not a hint of Bill in sight. Me likey!
Well, they're on the way to Fangtasia and not a hint of Bill in sight. Me likey!
10/6/2019 c1 Lbot1979
You really should take out the note that you put in that paragraph above. It gives your story more for us to learn and should not be spoiled and already know what is going to happen. It gives us intrigue and more plot for your tale later on.
You really should take out the note that you put in that paragraph above. It gives your story more for us to learn and should not be spoiled and already know what is going to happen. It gives us intrigue and more plot for your tale later on.
6/6/2019 c1 
8dinopoodle
I think this is a great beginning. I did notice a few spelling mistakes. But I do that myself so it's no big thing. I hope Godric is in this and not so depressed. I like that vampire. Bill well to be honest I never liked. Your tara reminds me of my best friend she never took any crap off anyone. Good job!
8dinopoodleI think this is a great beginning. I did notice a few spelling mistakes. But I do that myself so it's no big thing. I hope Godric is in this and not so depressed. I like that vampire. Bill well to be honest I never liked. Your tara reminds me of my best friend she never took any crap off anyone. Good job!