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for Epic of the Triumvirate Dragonborn Conquerors (E3DC) Bk 01: Ascension

4/8 c4 Kingspider20
Definitely an interesting story. I hope it is still being worked on!
3/15 c4 Hunter 1
When is the next new chapter the last one was 1 year and 9 months so it's close to 2 years
12/26/2020 c4 110Right What Is Wrong
As far as the siblings regaining their memories in time to give their dragons appropriate names, it could be hand-waved as them recalling names they 'made up' for dragons amid games of make-believe during their childhoods and 'impulsively' deciding to give their dragons just those names, only for them to later realize that various aspects of those games that they *thought* they 'made up on the spot' were, in fact, subconsciously remembered from their previous lives.

Did I miss a note about Hogwarts starting later than 11? It seems strange for a 14-year-old Hadrian to have a "chiselled" body. (I agree with your note that the progression rate isn't at all odd by ASOIAF standards.)

*shudders at the thought of an Umbridge/Fudge copulation* ...how did they fit that woman in a supply closet, anyway?

I like that you've split the Charms classes. One wonders how much of the canon behavior of the Heads of the Houses can be put down to them being desperately overworked.

[4h]
Merriam-Webster's entry for "champion" (as a noun):
1 : a winner of first prize or first place in competition
- a tennis champion
also : one who shows marked superiority
- a champion at selling
2 : a militant advocate or defender
- a champion of civil rights
3 : warrior, fighter
- a champion of his king
4 : one that does battle for another's rights or honor
- God will raise me up a champion

You're thinking of the first meaning, and the Tournament is using the third or the fourth meaning.

-

I don't have much to say about this chapter because it's mostly build-up. The siblings are getting their relationship underway - properly Valyrian - and the other girls are becoming more prominent. Meanwhile, we learn more about Lily's character and the siblings' plans outside of the bedroom. It's all very nice to see, but it mostly whets the appetite for the "more substantial action" you mentioned in your author's note.

Thanks for the chapter. Hope you're staying safe amid the current world situation.
12/26/2020 c3 Right What Is Wrong
The bit about the girls being upset over the loss of their hair is a little strange, since even an untrained canon!Harry managed to regrow his hair overnight. If it mattered that much to them, wouldn't accidental magic manage the same hair-regrowing trick? Eh.

I seriously question Hadrian's wisdom in wanting anything to do with a family known for leaving a trail of dead men behind them. What, he thinks he's smart enough to gain mutual benefit from the association? That's what all the others thought too.

It seems odd to go into the digression about "netorare" when you could easily say "Most men acted like he was constantly planning to cuckold them, seduce their female family members, or both."

[3h] It seems redundant to write this paragraph when the conversation between Hadrian and Rose only a short time after spells out his real reason: he's repressing his incestuous feelings because *Lily* told the siblings that it was wrong and threatened him if he persisted. His ideas of how he "should" feel are based off of *Lily's* norms, not society's.

I liked the chapter. I do think you can tone down the footnotes a bit, though. Readers can generally guess that an independent!Harry whose list of friends includes only girls is going to haul a nontrivial number of them into his harem, that awakening of Targaryen heritage and sudden resurgence of incestuous desires are connected, etc.
12/26/2020 c2 Right What Is Wrong
Hngh. Can't say I'm happy about the shift in timeframe to 2014, but it's your story.

I'm not one to preach about criticizing canon behavior, but it would flow more smoothly if you left the complaining out of the author's notes and integrated it as an aside in the story. Something like 'Hadrian wondered what the people goggling at him had expected. Did they expect him to live down to the lowest stereotypes of his House and leap bodily into the arena, throwing himself in the path of an XXXXX-class creature in a flamboyant but useless gesture that would (barring some act of divine intervention from the same god that famously looked after fools and little children) have incinerated him before his horrified family's eyes? Why would he do a thing like that?'

"What Lily ever saw in James remained a mystery to this day."
Amortentia. :P (I jest, but I'm surprised it's not the go-to in James-bashing fics.)

It comes off as a little weird to have Neville being an expert flier. I can't remember if that was in the original fic or not, but it seems a little coincidental to have the BWL just *happen* to be magnificent in the air. Neville's greatest achievement on a broom in canon was breaking his arm. Having him (briefly) fly circles around a dragon feels like "Neville" is being used as a placeholder for "canon!Harry with his glasses off". Sorry, just nitpicking.

While the triplets are talking about calculated risk... why didn't they cast *Sonorus*? If Parseltongue can't be properly amplified, fine. Otherwise, it seems like an oversight to approach the dragon rather than staying safely in their seats and calling to it with amplified voices.

The crowd's reaction is a bit odd. If they're as dim and instinct-driven as you imply, I'd expect a stampede rather than *only* screaming.

If you want to avoid talk of 'the Light', 'the Dark', etc., you could segment it into the Inclusionist faction vs. the Blood Purist faction, the Adapters vs. the Traditionalists, the Optimates vs. the Populares, or some other divide that speaks more to the actual ideological differences than 'I chose the pretty blue color at character creation'.

If the Potter name irks you so much, it seems to me that it could have been solved by ruling that the House of Peverell never died out in the male line in this timeline, rendering James, Hadrian, etc. Peverells rather than Potters. *shrug* Eh, I've never seen the name Eveschatten before, so it's an interesting change.

Well, it's an interesting enough start. The siblings seem a tad full of themselves, but they are reincarnated Targaryens. Onto the next chapter.
12/26/2020 c1 RWIW
I’m shocked and delighted to see that someone else decided to take this challenge, since I enjoyed DHTH greatly. Can’t say that I’m enthusiastic about Harry x Lily, but I’ve been reading Anne Rice, so I’ll just do what I do there and skip those scenes.

Good luck, man!
11/10/2020 c4 Guest DCDGojira
To author
These footnotes are SO stupid to have that it makes me think you're trying to submit to your English professor for a passing grade or something~! LOL
11/10/2020 c2 Guest DCDGojira
To author
You're totally too stupid to understand that Harry and his siblings are triplets if you're using "twins" and referring to Harry as the "middle child"~! LOL
10/2/2019 c3 8Spudzmom
The citation numbers throughout the chapters are distracting and irritating. Also, I find myself skimming or outright skipping large portions of your info-dumps, especially those concerning minor characters.
7/2/2019 c4 ChungusTheGod3
I'll be honest, I haven't seen a crossover of this type before.

Just as a matter of preference, harems are not my thing. So I'll just ignore the whole dynamic, keep it from biasing my judgement.

My verdict is this: Well written, sound premise. Only thing I can say I don't like is the large span between updates, but that's no fault of yours.

Ultimately it's better to spend time revising the work than rushing it. Great fic, knarf3, and I hope you continue it with the same quality.
6/12/2019 c1 Guest
Good storie
5/18/2019 c2 VanessaBlake
Twin refers to two but you clearly say Harry is the middle child born minutes between them ie triplets
5/16/2019 c4 Darth Renatus
And so the game is afoot. Looking foward to the next chapter.
5/14/2019 c4 tpowe15
Love your story!
5/12/2019 c2 Patrick Nakasone
I agree with Cedric and Krum. There are easier and less painful methods of suicide then getting involved in that catfight.
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