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for Ambition of the Red Princess

6/6 c79 27Apex85
Never cared for their romance.

Would have expected her chewing out Jaune for Aldric's death would have gone for longer or atleast her also confiding in Naofumi how she thought it was a mistake.

Alot of figures in history would be considered war criminals or horrible by modern standards or have their less savoryparts downplayed. People go on about Sir Francis Drake's circumnavigation and beating the Spanish Fleet, barely anyone this about his role in the slave trade. And Churchill being treated as a hero for fighting the Axis but his racism and horrid mismanagement of India resulting in the Bengal Famine is barely ever brought up.

Seeing James and Sirius act like something out of a bashfic hurt the HP fan in me...
6/6 c79 3RonaldM40196867
Lord Potter does not like Captain Knight Gramont.

This keeps getting funnier.

Happy June!
5/29 c78 AngelFaux
Adding Warhammer into the ring eh? Pretty interesting choice. Personally more familiar with 40k I just hope Chaos isn't a thing here. Or Orks and Skaven.
5/25 c78 Dareth
Huh...that went much, much, much better than I expected! Good for the team...sooo...which other hero was nearby and causing a drain on xp? Meet them next chapter?
5/23 c12 12Bleedndreamz
This is a story I really wanted to love. I think the idea is great. But I'll keep this review short and just say that unfortunately I think your narrative just drags too much. You'll have characters or themes essentially get repeated multiple times in a chapter. For example:

Mein will think something.

Naofumi will verbalize the thought.

But in between that or post that you'll explain the thought in exposition. It's just a major drag to read.


With the story idea you've gone for, the most interesting aspects of the story generally should be:

Mein's effect on Naofumi.

Naofumi's effect on Mein.

How the two of them together twist the Narrative of the story.

However the story gets 11 chapters in, a ton of words and the characters have barely got to episode 2? Or 3? Just massive drag.

World building is totally fine and enjoyable in a story. But too much up front all at once causes drag. Additionally world building that really doesn't get returned to can cause additional drag.

Anyways I love the idea. You've written a lot so I gotta believe it at least went somewhere. I just think that it is taking way way way too long to do little.
5/23 c78 3RonaldM40196867
Just make a new home.

Do you think too much ambition is a bad thing?
5/22 c11 2dragoon109
i have a question. Why arent you going to use the stat increase shields like slave user when as an example the spirit turtle represent the power of a level 7 wave. A ally at lvl 100 wont be able to match a level 7 wave monster with out some kind of stat growth.
5/19 c64 dragoon109
question. why is the shield hero at fault here? he was attacked and defended him self.
5/19 c59 dragoon109
from what i know in canon silfelt started the war for purity and holy war reasons. Why change it to be that the humans started the war?
5/18 c47 dragoon109
ugh james potter is a evil person.
5/11 c12 15Vanessa Masters
Poor Raph, so sad.

But she's getting good food.

Thou Mal is jealous of the attention, as it seems.

She's got all these plans, but they're so far away.

And actual slides show up, huh.
5/11 c77 I realise
Glad to see the story progressing! Though I do find it a bit... hm, odd, how the situation turns so quickly. Enemies one second, and temporary allies the next. Well, then again, the circumstances forced their hand so...

Finally, Mein would understand what it feels like, when power corrupts. It is very 'Malty' of her to let the power get to her head, though at least she had the thought of helping the Shield Hero, instead of just abandoning him at first thought. I wonder what will Naofumi do now that Mein has revealed that she isn't really 'Mein of Samphor'. I guess he will try to rationalise it at first? It's normal human behaviour after all, but will he get inputs from other members before coming to a conclusion? This is where we see if Malty has really succeeded in gaining the Shield Hero's trust.

Great chapter! I look forward to the next.

P.s and yes, Raiden has always been much hated. Maybe that's why they turned him into an super cyborg ninja that can lift a giant robot arm and swat it around like a batting bat. Sigh, MGR was good memories indeed.
5/10 c77 Dareth
Sooooo many references...though at this point i'm expecting Naofumi to blow up, and complain about Mine keeping secrets and going cray cray for a while, his honorable companions for not having any common sense, Filo for being very literally a monster, and the world for not giving them a break with all the endless fights!
5/10 c77 27Apex85
RIP Aldrecht. Way to go Jaune, look what your stupidity cost. Atleast tge battlemage knocked the stupid bird down a peg or two.
5/10 c77 codywhite162
Loved the chapter! Looking forward to the next one! Great work!
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