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6/25/2019 c4 3Jeremy scout
I likethos story a lot so far. What the hell happened to Junior though? You just wrote him out of the story when Junior in all honesty would go help his father fight enemies no questions asked. Also is Donut really dead? Everytime Donut dies he comes back somehow. So I doubt they think hes actually dead.
4/24/2019 c1 12Bomberguy789
It’s pretty damn good to be honest, but one are it falls short is that the story feels like it slows down whenever the full name of any weapon or armour is used. I understand why they are used - just saying “gun, rifle, pistol, etc etc” covers a very wide range of weapons used in Halo, but sometimes that’s for the best. Unless they’re speaking in proper military language, there’s little reason for them to think of their guns as anything that lacks vowels, has numbers and is more than two words. Which is why needler and plasma rifle work, but not “this one wore a suit of armour based off of... commander appearance” or “SRSS99-AM Sniper rifle.”

Also what exactly was Nevada’s A.I. doing when she was being attacked? Or held on the ship? And I’m sure this stuff will come up later anyway but what aspect of the Director’s personality do these two A.I. fragments represent (I’m assuming it’s his personality if they were ex-freelancers), why weren’t they recovered before (what with Wash and the Meta searching for them), where in the leader board were these two agents if they got their A.I. before Wash and South, and I could have sworn the time frame between Hargrove’s arrival and Church’s death was less than an hour (even if it wasn’t, the two would have to arrive by the right location on the planet, exit their ship, and fight through Hargrove’s forces before Church would be confident that he wouldn’t need to die - and that would take a while).

Anyway, good luck, and I look forward to seeing how exactly these guys affect Marvel (I mean, Halo is set in the future and Marvel in the current day so there’s that hurdle to get around, but then there’s also all the different alien civilisations in Marvel to think about, and all of that’s before I know if this is based on the comics or movies). Have fun!
4/23/2019 c1 DB-20
Really liking this

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