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21h c22 KalthosNamikaze
would definitely like to see what you have in mind for harrys summer and can't wait for the next story epic story
1/23 c7 9Blandusername
So another thought for the last few chapters so far is that it is mostly an overview of events. We don’t read what’s going on rather we read Harry thinking back on events. Also you don’t have much dialog rather a brief description of the dialog before a small bit of actually talking.

Again the structure is a bit messy, hard to keep up with in some places.
1/23 c5 Blandusername
So the story is alright so far, your writing is okay and I didn't notice too many grammar issues. I would recommend putting in more detail and reworking your paragraph structures as the scenes kind of fly at lightning speed and one moment we're in one place and the next sentence we're in a completely different one.

Also I would recommend using the line break function in the fanfiction doc manager to split up things instead of the squiggly lines, as it doesn't translate from pc to phone very well.

This chapter specifically could have removed Harry and following McGonagall in the beginning because the way it's structured makes it a bit messy especially when the rest of the chapter has nothing to do with it.

Not flames just recommendations to make the story flow a bit better.
1/19 c22 zepsam
I love this fanfic and I really hope you post a summer chapter. I love the world building and how flushed out you’ve made the characters. I love a Good!Dumbledore and it’s so hard to find stories that have him and make him seem human which you’ve done spectacularly. Please continue the story or maybe have a couple oneshots every now and then? Really it’s such an amazing story and I’ll keep coming back to re-read it!(this is my third go through already) thank you so much <3
1/15 c22 EagleHasLanded
To answer your note, I would be interested in a chapter showing the summer.
1/15 c22 sh777
Thanks for the update.
1/15 c22 Aslan27526
Can you please fix the formatting? Btw, nice story so far
1/15 c22 Guest
The formatting is messed up
12/14/2020 c21 LadyPhoenix68
While Harry with Neville might give him some valuable courage, Augusta would trample all over harry and I think would be a horrible choice. Tonks and Greengrass can both be interesting stories.
11/22/2020 c21 EagleHasLanded
Quite the surprising speech there from Snape. I wonder if hearing that he saved Draco's life helped him see Lily in Harry. The Gringotts visit should be interesting to see what all is learned there.. For the summer, that's a tough choice. Be nice to see if a summer with Harry would bring Neville more out of his shell and into the group. I can see him having fun with Tonks, even if there would be no one else there his age, but may help the battle to see Sirius free. Greengrass could also be interesting to bring some more inter-house socializing there, and with Draco owing a life debt, may be smoother for Daphne to be friends with them if he's not as nasty about it. Plus, you haven't really indicated for sure any pairings, and I think I remember her showing some interesting in Harry when he was first to do move all the blocks so that could throw her into the mix of possibilities. Anyway, enjoying the story, thanks for sharing.
11/21/2020 c21 Guest
Awww I hope they catch scabbers! They need to do the spell someplace public like the great hall or the busy Gryfinndor common room... oh they could call McGonagall to the common room for something and when she arrives reveal Peter!
11/2/2020 c20 jkr21br
1 year and 8 months and not even at the end of first year. At this pace, we have to wait until 2031 for the end of seventh year.
10/27/2020 c11 rainbowpuff
I am really enjoying your story so far! There are so many stories out there with a bad or manipulative Dumbledore, so reading your story where he is legitimately nice and supportive of Harry is really refreshing.
10/24/2020 c20 EagleHasLanded
Very interesting take, I don't think I've seen where Voldy actually gets the stone. Should be interesting to see what he does with...does he get a new body early? I'm sure time will tell. And I bet this motivates Harry even more after losing like that and having his friends in danger.
10/24/2020 c20 Leroy519
I enjoy the idea of a bored voldy wanting a real challenge.
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