Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Blader, The Assassin, and The Hunter

3/12 c2 Benolition
Interesting story, but the grammar nazi within me is dying: mostly sue to inconsistent capitalization (i vs I is a huge problem in this chapter).

If you aren't too picky with yr grammar give this fic a ahot: but don't come in with high expectations of writing quality. It is still their first fic.
2/12 c3 Face Yourself
I liked the start, but what kind of insane AU is this? The beta testers only ever made it to floor 10, not 33!
9/2/2019 c1 AbyssWatcher
Pretty good story I hope you continue this! Complete sinonxkirito stories aren't exactly in abundance in this site
7/16/2019 c12 The Diamond Gamer
Well, hope this story conyinues soon.
6/21/2019 c12 1K-Rock 1315
Hey, good story so far. However I noticed that that you stick a lot of dialogue between people in the same paragraph. When writing dialogue every time a different person is speaking you always start a new paragraph, no exceptions.

"here is an example!" He said with a smile.
"When you write like this it is easy to see who is talking" she responded. "Also it helps to keep people from glazing over what the characters are saying."
"I see, so that's how it is" he replied.

When you have multiple people talking in the same paragraph it becomes confusing as to who is talking, especially when you have two lines of conversation one right after another. I hope this helps your writing. Keep it up
5/7/2019 c9 1Panatuki
I've got an idea for your story. You could have a human embodiment of the cardinal system (Like in Alicization) That spies on players and collects all their info that isn't uploaded to the SAO system and sends it to kyaba who in turn uses it to make records of every player. Maybe Kirito could battle the human cardinal system. leaving Kyaba with incomplete records that could help Kirito if he battles Kyaba.

Might be a bit much but I thought I should give the whole idea.
5/6/2019 c9 BorderLand
Good chapter, Isuca seems to be an interesting OC with many posbiltys in the future. I aleardy have a few there is about her but I am sure it will take a long time before I have any conclusive proof.

I am looking forward to what you will do with those two ploting idiots and how the story will progress from here.
5/5/2019 c8 BorderLand
I like how this story progress, hopefully the idiot with blue hair won't get himself killed and the other spiky idiot will keep his litj shut or at least somone will defend Kirito in this story considering how much he aleardy did for the layers aleardy.
5/3/2019 c6 UnkownSoul
More Klein, more Sinon, (more Argo?) and a Kirito that actually has something to his character...

holy shit, please, I need more of this in my life!
4/29/2019 c4 The Rupture
Why great sword?
4/29/2019 c4 Mori Regis
I love this story
4/28/2019 c3 5Grafian
Loving the story so far! Can't wait to see their next batch of antics :P

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service