Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Breathing Landscapes

5/3/2019 c1 8GKEA GUY
This is an incredible start and I'm really excited for the next chapter - hopefully it's coming soon, but no rush. I can't believe this is your first fiction, honestly, because it's so high quality. Grammar and dialog are almost flawless. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon is the best and I'm so excited about reading another good PMD fic.

The tone is one big thing I want to comment on. I'm working on a Mystery Dungeon fic at the moment and I can only hope to capture the mood you're doing here. I often tire of all the Pokemon games ' happy-go-lucky attitude and did even as a kid, and I always thought that Pokemon Mystery Dungeon fics with a darker tone were the best. The idea of feral Pokemon in Mystery Dungeons struggling to survive, lacking proper intelligence, and running on pure instinct is a very fascinating one.

Xan is a very interesting protagonist, character wise. I'm excited to see the issues that his dream projections will create. Eevee and Espurr are making a very interesting team. Eva is already a powerful heroine, and I look forward to more of her story. We already know that she's a strong fighter based on her interactions with Koffing and Ekans (I suggest giving them names if they're going to be recurring characters as well) and her dynamic with Xan is 10/10. I can tell already that Eva will make the best of our troubled protagonist, even if he doesn't want her to. It says a lot that Xan couldn't turn away from her. Whether its because he likes something about her or because what happened goes against his morals is yet to be determined, but from a romantic side I'm hoping for the former UwU

If I had to criticize ANYTHING, it'd be something extremely minor. Namely, descriptions. I'd suggest editing in some physical descriptions somewhere if you can find the room. While you can assume what they look like one of the fun parts of Mystery Dungeons is being able to give Pokemon unique traits and such. Perhaps a darker fur tone, something that sets Xan and Eva apart from others.

Amazing job, can't wait for more
5/2/2019 c1 HamClad
Pretty good story so far. Like how the characters are fleshed out so far and the unusual portrayal of Mystery Dungeon. Eagerly awaiting for more, and even though I am probably a worse writer than you are I'll try to give critisicm as this story progresses.
5/2/2019 c1 1RyRoger's Funny Stories
Dear Shithead Who Wrote This,

What the fuck is this shit... this isn't even a story? YOU WROTE TOXIC WASTE. BAD. BAD. BAD. It's so senseless... so fucking retarded... that Google *Translate* activated when I tried to "read" it. What the fuck is wrong with you putting shit like this on the internet?! You need to take this PIECE OF RETARDED SHIT off of this website. A crackhead can even write a better story than this garbage, even A DOG could.

This website ain't for 6 year olds (I know what you are with spelling like that) sons of bitches or mentally handicapped motherfuckers like you that stay at home and draw welfare and food stamps, stay high off of drugs and pain medications, stay drunk all of the time, spend all of their paycheck (RUNNING BACK AND FORTH TO THE LIQUOR STORE AND TOBACCO SHED ALL DAY, AND SPREAD CANCER) on beer (CARBONATED GASOLINE) whiskey (MOONSHINE) gin (ALL ALCOHOLIC -ETHANOL- DRINKS ARE DOING NOTHING BUT KILLING YOU DUMBASS WEAK MOTHERFUCKERS AND YOUR WATERED DOWN BRAIN CELLS AND FUCKED UP DNA, JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET ANY PUSSY OR A BITCH'S PIEHOLE TO STICK YOUR PISSSTICK UP/DOWN OR GET A DICK UP YOUR FUCKHOLE, YOU DRINK YOURSELF TO DEATH) cigars ("Black n' Mild"- SO YOU CAN HAVE LUNGS LIKE MOLTEN TIRES AND COUGH UP THAT POISONOUS SHIT AND SPREAD IT OVER ALL OVER OTHER PEOPLE WHO AREN'T A WEAK MOTHERFUCKER LIKE YOU AND GIVE THEM GENETIC ABNORMALITIES - a.k.a CANCER/MUTATIONS) cigarettes (cancer sticks- STILL SPREADING THAT POISONOUS MUTAGENIC SHIT ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE- FUCKING UP THE HUMAN RACE - WHICH IS ALREADY FUCKED UP TO THE POINT OF NO FUCKING RETURN THANKS TO IGNORANT FUCKBAGS LIKE YOURSELF - AND FUTURE GENERATIONS EVEN MORE, BUT LESS) dip "snuff" (first mutagenic substance discovered - Candied Shit - BROWN LIKE SHIT AND EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT SHIT, STILL SPITTING OUT MUTAGENS THAT ALTER NORMAL PEOPLES' DNA) chew-tobacco (so you and your SHITTY breath can smell like the SHITTIEST PIECE OF SHIT IN THE UNIVERSE, and have TEETH THAT LOOK LIKE YOU EAT SHIT EVERYDAY FOR BREAKFAST) etc, wear shitty ass raggedy clothes that look like they pulled them out of a trashcan, smoke weed and crack, go from house being a man/woman whore (THINKING ABOUT SEX EVERY 10 FUCKING SECONDS -and food- LIKE A DAMN WILD ASS ANIMAL), have no life, get banged up by sorry ass men/women (mostly drug addicts) and shoot out babies nonstop (for women)/get every woman in sight pregnant like a damn animal (for men), have a thousand little child support babies, and live off of other people and the system their entire fucking life.

You should burn your computer (OR BURN YOURSELF FOR ALL I CARE) after you wrote this or smash open your damn head (WATER BALLOON FUCKING AIRHEAD) with it and maybe knock some sense into it (OR BUST OPEN YOUR FUCKING SKULL). This crap shouldn't be on this site, take it to deviantART (A CLOSETED PORN WEBSITE) or fac(K)ebook (faggotbook- WHERE WHORES LIKE YOU GO TO GET ATTENTION FROM IDIOTS AND SLUTS -who secretly cut themselves and are addicted to drugs- WITH NO REAL LIFE THAT YOU CALL YOUR FRIENDS, AND SEX MANIACS GO BEAT OFF THEIR COCK TO PICTURES OF BITCHES AND SLUTS THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW) or twitter (twinkter- WHERE MORE WHORES LIKE YOURSELF GO TO GET ATTENTION BECAUSE NO ONE LOVES YOU) or some gay ass shit like that, black ass ugly retarded greasy tire looking fat loud ghetto "stanky" annoying lesbo nigger bitch with little handicapped nigglets and 500 different possible nigger "daddies", ugly white honkey wild animal ass disturbed whiny hypocritical "mentally-ill" snowball, blackie fish face big-lipped gorilla 10 IQ sexually-confused "pansexual" emasculated worthless cuck nigger fat-pale-faced-dirty-sweaty-shitty-stinky-trashy-white-whale-lover slutty fucking garbage bag walking STDs thing that barely has any form of a brain (PROJECT NIGGA WITH AIDS/HIV AND TOO MANY STDs TO COUNT), faggot ass cocksucking fuck, nasty ass alcoholic slob, redneck ugly ass pale-faced worthless pathetic peckerwood monkey (WHITE TRAILER TRASH WITH A DEFORMED FUCKED UP HEAD) piece of poor fatass disgusting dog and cat and child/baby-fucking shitty motherfucking faggot bitch, retarded dirty Indian dirtnigger with a false sense of self-inflated worth, stuck up inhuman disgusting fugly slanty-eyed Asian yerrowrivvernigger tranny skank fucker that thinks they are "intelligent" but can't speak, dumbass wetback "hispanic/latino" shit-breathed ugly shit poor fucked up defective creature, fatass Big Mac lover, cum-thirsty, facebook twitter attention whore fuck, dejected "depressed" (What the fuck is this?) nerdy emo bitch/bastard with every "disease" in the DSM that got "raped and molested" by over 20 individuals that includes family members and animals and people of the same gender (GO CUT YOURSELF), dumb blonde slut, sack of shit fuck, shitty HUMAN TRASH, feminazi-loving SJW weak pussy cuck, fucked fucker fuck, cock hungry cock addict, ching chin chin chong chang choo choo bitch fucker, titty/pussy/dick eater, fucked up ugly fucker, motherfucking hoe. I'm gonna report this shit just for being retarded as fuck. Yeah I cussed yo dumbass out, PM me. I DARE you, you whiny ass bitch ugly piece of shit. UGLY FATASS BITCH, LOOKING LIKE A UGLY ASS MAN. YOU REALLY NEED HELP. HHHHAAAHHHHAAHHAAHH!

*PS 1* Stay the FUCK off of drugs, it's for your own safety.

*PS 2* DON'T WRITE ANYMORE SHITFICS LIKE THIS ANY DAMN MORE BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR/CARE ABOUT YOUR SHITTY ASS WORTHLESS PERSONAL LIFE.

*PS 3* STOP SPREADING MUTATIONS, YOU IGNORANT FUCK.

*PS 4* TAKE THIS ILLEGAL BULLSHIT PROPAGANDA DOWN.

*PS 5* O.0...oooooooo... BY THE WAY, YOUR PROFILE PIC AND STORY PIC IS ... FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD UUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP... SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO BURN/DESTROY THAT UGLY MOTHERFUCKER BEFORE YOU ARE SENT TO PRISON FOR ATTEMPTING MURDER (OR ACTUALLY KILLING SOMEONE) OR FOR A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY.

*PS 6* BUT SERIOUSLY, DELETE THAT FUCKER BEFORE IT IS DECLARED A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION (IT ALREADY IS ONE IN MY BOOK - THIS FUGLY SON OF A BITCH CAN KILL SOMEONE) AND YOU GET DEEP IN SOME SERIOUS SHIT.

*PS 7* GO SUCK ON A PAIR OF BALLS OR A DICK OR A PAIR OF TITTIES. Here's a better suggestion... BURN AND CUT AND FUCK THE HELL OUT OF YOURSELF UNTIL THAT LITTLE FLESHBAG YOU CALL "SKIN" FALLS OFF.

*PS 8*-*CENSORED* (IS SOMETHING SO HORRIBLE THAT IT CAN'T BE PUT IN WORDS)

*PS 9* GO BACK HOME... TO THE FUCKING ZOO. DO I HAVE TO CALL ANIMAL CONTROL? DON'T MAKE ME...

*PS 10* YOU'RE PROBABLY NEARING BLIND OR/AND DEAF. THE SHIT THAT YOU PUT IN YOUR FUCKING SYSTEM EVERYDAY IS KILLING THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF YOUR STUPID ASS AND YOU'RE TOO FUCKING DUMB TO REALIZE IT. IN A COUPLE OF YEARS OR EVEN MONTHS ALL OF YOUR DAMN HAIR WILL HAVE FALLEN OUT OF YOUR FUCKING FUCKED UP HEAD FROM CANCER. YOU WILL THINK ABOUT WHAT I TOLD YOUR IGNORANT ASS AND FEEL SORRY. WAKE THE FUCK UP BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

*PS 11* STOP STICKING YOUR HANDS IN RANDOM BITCHES' PUSSIES AND USE THEM TO WRITE A REAL STORY, NOT SHIT LIKE THIS.

*PS 12* CLEAN YOUR NASTY ASS STINKY STICKY/SLIPPERY HANDS AND USE THEM FOR SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES RUBBING DOWN PUSSY WITH LUBE/CUM OR FOOD/RANDOM SHIT (ICING, WHIPPED CREAM, CHOCOLATE, HONEY, MOTOR OIL, CRACK, WEED, BEER, BEER BOTTLES, CIGARETTES, CIGARS, "SNUFF", BATH SALTS, MEAT, VEGETABLES, FRUITS, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU DIRTY PERVERTED MOTHERFUCKERS PUT ON/IN PUSSIES/DICKS- AND BE A NASTY SON OF A BITCH TO EAT IT OUT WITH CUM/BLOOD/BODY FLUIDS/DNA ON IT).

*PS 13* GO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR "MATE"/GIRLFRIEND/WIFE/BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND (IF YOU HAVE ONE/SOME YOU SLIMY SLUTBAG) AND YOUR KIDS UNTIL YOU KNOCK THEM OUT AND GO SMASH YOUR HEAD INTO A WALL UNTIL IT EXPLODES- YOU CRAZY ASS MOTHERFUCKER!

Fuck off, manwhore/pussy/bitch/nigger/cracker/cholo/chin/tomato/human trash/whatever the fuck you are
GaffNuud, Critics United
5/2/2019 c1 1SunMoon6798
Hey, welcome. So look a warning given you are writing a Pokemon story. Farla, St Elmo's Fire, Talarc, Spencer841, Handle Criticism Maturely, and a few others are known bullies on this site who review only to destroy stories and promote drama.

They will push their believes down your throat, demand you redo your story to fit their wants and no, they are the super minority and hated by the fandom. They also tend to post pms publicly so responding to them is ill advised.

They start off with a disclaimer about honestly thinking it would help. It doesn't they want you to be screwed over as they complain about trival nonsense that got their panties in a twist.

They think Pokemon is slavery. That you should capitalize the way they want, fyi Pokemon names are not species names and that's been officially recongized in modern English. So yes it's correct to capitalize Pikachu for instance. Oh, and they give out false dialogue formatting (It's "Hello," She said dialogue is a seperate sentence). Spend time putting out a text block of non issues that are not going to help you. Don't get me started on Arceus.

What's worse is they all try to pass it off as them being critics in their reviews. Any review with it in the begining should be ignored if you get it.

Oh and if they say that they are being bullied. Know that they are lying as they been doing it too this fandom for years now and are just pissed that a group are working to stop it. The admins told them to knock it off.

If that's not enough on my profile is proof its utter nonsense. oh and if there is a guest reviewer titled "Take Down Hybrid" know that is's actually Handle Criticism Maturely the biggest of all of Farla's supporters and an utter troll who only doing this shit because Hybrid gave her criticism. The girls gone off the deep end and into complete insanity.

Best to remove it.

Speaking of them they had twice agreed to stop but don't. Even after being told to stop by the admins, their friends, and even random strangers. Right now they are somehow convinced that Hybrid, a woman, is a man.

If they claim they have proof don't. Its all utter nonsense land they been told by the admins to take it down.

As for the users you need to block and how, you block by heading to heading too the toolbar were you posted a story. Click on account and you should see the option to block users. The add their id numbers..

64005

5373533

4416847

1357526

6889405

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service