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for fire in the heart(rewrite)

7/22/2021 c28 1Raise257
That was one of the best ways to end a chapter .
It was EXTREMELY well thought of.
Should Finn grow a beard? Well... he did eventually grow a beard in the cartoons, so... I say yeah; just to make some parts of the story cross paths with the original cartoon nature of it.
I also like how you mentioned the rise of humans and vampires... that should be an excellent title for another story, you know... Fire in the Heart 2: Rise of humans and vampires

Raise257
6/30/2021 c27 Raise257
Sorry about reviewing so late... I've gotten pretty tied up with time. But I must say, my favorite part was reading Frey's POV in the story. I hope this story can finally get some sort of recognition.

Raise257
6/14/2021 c26 Raise257
That was beautiful... but I would advise you to give credit to the creator of where I found the source at because... they'll possibly think you're plagiarizing.

Indeed, it's been a long way.

I wouldn't be writing for a long time, but when I come back to writing, I will make things look so... harmonic. For now, I'll read other's story and review on them.

Remember, I'll support you till the end
6/1/2021 c25 Raise257
I thought Finn turned 16 when he got on that train in his birthday?
Finn logic about not telling PB was somewhat logical.
PB's attitude with Finn, Phoebe, and Marceline, in my opinion, weren't really as accurate as I thought.
Bubblegum is more of an overprotective person, than a person who gets sadly disappointed when finding out what was really happening with the trio.
Will LSP be the snitch, and tell everyone about the news of the two female's pregnancy?
If so, I NEVER like LSP -_-

Raise257
5/23/2021 c24 Raise257
This was really short.
There was a bunch of typing mistakes.
Will this be an intro into meeting Finn's real parents?

Raise257
5/16/2021 c23 Raise257
My Review: (Rated K-T section)
-The information seems to be accurate.
-The reactions of the character were expected.
-Some words were not proper, but rather spelled wrong.

My Review: (Rated M/A section)
-You did a great job alerting people what was going to happen next.
-The threesome was something I expected would happen eventually.
-Everything seems to be in place.

My questions:
-Now since that's handled, who will be the next antagonist?
-What will the former Flame King and Marceline's dad think about this?
-What will be Marceline's choice of names be?

Suggestions:
-How you used "Grammarly"? If not, you should use it whenever you're uncertain about what you write; it's free!

Note to Author (N-A):
It been a long way, hasn't it?
Chapter 23... I still remember the days when those kinds of stories were left behind in 2016.
You, however, brought these ideas back to this modern/present time.
I would love to see the old ideas that once considered FnF in it's "golden age".

Peace ️
Raise257 (Ω)
5/9/2021 c22 Raise257
The time... has come.
The humans are about to be engaged in marriage.
Wow, just looking at this chapter brings me to when this started...
I'm so... happy to make it to this point :)

Raise257
4/30/2021 c21 Raise257
My Observation:
-Marceline gives Finn her "special" to him.
-Finn doesn't know where babies come, nor does Phoebe.
-The future looks to be radical in the future.

My thoughts:
-There were minimum errors, but who nowadays care about errors?
-It was a great idea to make some sort of explanation in the story... I do wonder if kids come out of nowhere just to read lemon stories? I seriously do wonder?
-The characteristics were very accurate to their true personality.
-If this Finn's world is like this, does that mean that Flame Prince turns into a human and does his business with Fionna, while Marshall does the same business the next day to her as well? It sounds pretty... awkward, but I always like to think the opposite world as well. I'm more of a "What if" person, so seeing this story... got me wondering.

Raise257
4/22/2021 c20 Raise257
I still think this was a brilliant idea : )
What was funny was that you called it an "early wedding gift"
The idea was located... sentence structure still needs help, but hey, not really many people care nowadays.

Raise257
4/16/2021 c19 Raise257
My Review:
-First things first, why say you're not good at writing lemon? You did better than beginning lemon writers. I honestly extremely shocked to see how well and how great you structure your story.

-Everything in this chapter was sorta what many could predict... I was still lmao when Finn was acting all dense, I mean, who didn't know what it was they were doing? Kids, but I'm talking about them.

-I had to agree with Phoebe, Finn's manhood is indeed something that sounds pretty... shocking. I never could imagine Finn with such length and width.

-Finally, you're welcome. But not only that, but Thank You as well :)
You see, I give you reviews because they allow me to see the multi-versions of each story.
Though interesting, I was planning on writing a Finn x FP story, and see how well organized and structured this story has become, I was planning on study how to make such events just by looking at yours and Gorbash150 :)

You're welcome, and Thank You, Brandonleewolfe1 :)

Raise257
3/24/2021 c18 Raise257
LOL... I won't be surprised by what she wants to "show" Finn.
If my logic was correct, the original story tells us that on Chapter 5 (I believe) was a "great" night for the couple.
But I have to admit, this idea was brilliant and well planned.
One suggestion I will ask is to use better word choice.
If you can do that, then I bet you this story would be 100x better... and maybe more than the original story.

Raise257
"Believe, Achieve, Succeed"
-WKHS
3/19/2021 c17 The Book of Eli
A short and simple chapter and i liked it...
3/19/2021 c16 The Book of Eli
Aww such a sweet chapter after the battle. Plus yeah it won't be long before Jake returns. Also love how both of them are ok with kids but have no idea about the teirs...
3/16/2021 c14 The Book of Eli
The battle is beginning soon and i wonder how it will go...
3/15/2021 c17 Raise257
Okay, it was a cool chapter.
Finn and Phoebe having a family? Of Course, this pairing is my 2nd favorite pairing in the Adventure Time series :)
Marceline having feelings for Finn? I'll be honest, you surprised me because to me that was one sudden moment for the Vampire Queen.
As much as I would like this pairing, I do still miss my pairing, but I know it won't come any sooner :(

Raise257
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