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for Gone Too Far

6/8/2019 c1 20The Rhombus
This story presents a darker perspective of Petrie’s siblings, and one of them in particular, than I have seen depicted in a fanfiction before. Along the way we are shown in rather stark terms the effects of bullying. Donnie is rather well depicted as a vile creature in his malice towards his brother, and this made Petrie’s plight all the more salient as the story went along.

Petrie’s plan for revenge was quite well depicted in the narrative as was the confusion of the valley and the initial reactions. The concern of Petrie’s mother and her efforts to calm Petrie and to make him see the ramification of his actions was also nicely handled, as has been the case in your other stories. The contrast between her maternal concern and the lack of concern expressed by Petrie’s siblings is both noticeable and tragic. This further makes me feel for the poor flyer.

That being said, I do have to agree with what others have said about the characterization of Cera and some of the other characters in this story. Although the Cera of the first film might not be beyond the severe antics seen in this story, the Cera that exists in the sequels would probably limit herself to light teasing of the flyer for being easily scared. To see her act in this manner in this story (and for some others in the gang not quickly intercede on Petrie’s behalf – such as Littlefoot) seemed rather out of character to me. That being said, Cera’s characterization did seem to improve in the second part of the story.

I also have to agree with what you noted in the author’s note concerning focusing on similar ideas. Although there is nothing wrong with revisiting ideas from time to time, it is important to occasionally step outside of your comfort zone in order to grow as a writer. Ultimately such diversity in topics and characters is important if one is to avoid burnout and writer’s block.

All that being said, I do hope that I have not come across as being negative in this review. This story does have several strong points, namely in the characterization of Petrie’s mother, the focus on the effects of bullying, and in capturing the emotional anguish of the characters. I will eagerly look forward to what you have in store for us with your next story.
6/7/2019 c1 14TimeLordMaster108
This was another excellent story for the most part, the plotline with Petrie getting pranked and then his siblings and friends getting their deserved punishment.

However my big problem with this story was Cera's and her dad's characterisation. I know Cera can be bossy and tough, but I don't think she'd make fun of Petrie for being scared, she'd probably just tease him after scaring him a bit, but then apologise when she saw that Petrie was veryupset, and Topps would just roll his eyes and assume that Petrie's just being Petrie., same with the others, I know the gang tease Petrie sometimes, but they're never that nasty, I think it would've been better if Petrie had been in such a foul mood that he took his friends teasing the wrong way, and then have the gang find out about what Petrie's brother did.

But aside from that this was a good story, nd keep up the great work.
5/30/2019 c1 IndigoPhoenix69
Glad to see I am not the only here who thought Cera was out of character in this story. She may be an intense character, but not cruel like Hyp or Donnie. I couldn't see Littlefoot not standing up for Petrie, so I felt he was a little out of character as well.

Other than that observation, overall this is a good story like your other ones are. I was very much bullied as a kid, so I naturally have zero tolerance for putting up with bullies or seeing someone else get bullied. However, vengeance is not the answer either, so I like how you also touched on that as a message for readers to take with them 3.
5/30/2019 c1 jay
my only real problem with the story was cera and topps,they just felt out of charater.
5/30/2019 c1 8Anagnos
I have to concur with Sovereign about Cera's characterization in this story and also by how even rest of the Gang seemed to join in making fun of Petrie, which is out of their character. Donnie, however, was done perfectly and you really brought up how evil he really appeared to be.

Petrie's revenge on the other hand, was something I was not really fond of. It would be hard to imagine him to do something like that especially toward his own good friends, but it was not something that bothered me greatly. Just something to take into consideration in the future.

And yes, I have also taken notice of how you use Petrie and Ducky in your fics and I would recommend for you to try something else. Like Sovereign said, there are many great options out there to explore and improve.

Despite my comments I did enjoy this tale much, and will be awaiting for your future stories. Good job!
5/30/2019 c1 26Keijo6
It’s great to see another story from you! While this certainly wasn’t the most original tale around, it’s still a nice return to the prompts for you and portrays another possibility for Petrie’s character development that we haven’t seen before. The emotions were also excellently captured here as they always are in your stories.

Donnie certainly was one who was easy to hate and the start of the fic paved very well the way for what was to follow. You’ve already shown just how difficult life can be for Petrie with his siblings’ teasing and you deepened that feeling tangibly here. The following scenes also took the story forward naturally even if I got the distinct feeling that Cera was slightly out of character here as I can’t see her acting like this towards Petrie anytime after the original film. Her later scenes in this story redeemed much of those issues but I was a bit bothered near the beginning about that.

Petrie’s revenge was written quite well and it’s easy to understand why he’d want some kind of revenge even towards his friends and his (or rather Guido’s) speech was done excellently. Cera’s following fear and concern made her characterization much better which was nice to see. I also quite liked the ending as it created a very warm and cheerful feeling which was a good way to end this rather depressing tale.

However, I have to agree with your own comments in the AN. Don’t understand me wrong but most of your short stories have centered on the same characters and similar issues. They have still been awesome but I’d really like to see a few stories from you that are centered on other characters than Ducky and Petrie. LBT has many great options and I’m sure widening your comfort zone would be relatively easy.

Other than that, good job as always. You are still the very best writer on GoF when it comes to pure emotion and internal struggles and that is shown very clearly here. While it could have been satisfying to see more about what happened to Donnie and the others, this story was still a nice look to the less savory parts of Petrie’s life.
5/30/2019 c1 DJ
Honestly, if one of my kids pulled something like this on a sibling or another child, they'd be lucky if they could sit until their 18th birthday. One thing that I've never tolerated is bullies and my kids know it.
5/29/2019 c1 Eris
Very cruel that the siblings got Chomper tricked into scaring Petrie. Maybe Chomper (being tricked) and Ruby (tricking her brother) could also get some form of revenge on the siblings (it’s a bit unfair that Chomper and Ruby were gotten scarred for Petrie’s revenge when the only thing he did was being tricked to do something and latter apologising for it and she trying to help).
5/29/2019 c1 26Vortex Lord
Whoa. I'd never seen Petrie act like that before.

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