for Dying Light4/13 c22 Guest
"Fortunately they could not seem to see his gauntlet ring at all and so it had escaped the Dursleys confiscation of his things."
Show this. Have a scene where Harry is watching his things being taken, his despair, and then his relief when Vernon's eyes race over the gauntlet as if it's not there
"Fortunately they could not seem to see his gauntlet ring at all and so it had escaped the Dursleys confiscation of his things."
Show this. Have a scene where Harry is watching his things being taken, his despair, and then his relief when Vernon's eyes race over the gauntlet as if it's not there
4/13 c21 Guest
"in my mind Harry was seconds from bursting into flames before Dumbledore arrived when he was holding off Voldemort."
You don't do enough to show that. Make his struggle shown. Make his pain shown.
"in my mind Harry was seconds from bursting into flames before Dumbledore arrived when he was holding off Voldemort."
You don't do enough to show that. Make his struggle shown. Make his pain shown.
4/13 c21 Guest
Too much telling not enough showing during the battle. Extremely boring due to that when it's supposed to be the most exciting part of the chapter.
Too much telling not enough showing during the battle. Extremely boring due to that when it's supposed to be the most exciting part of the chapter.
4/10 c16 
2Mionefan
I realize that this is not a Harry/Hermione story, but I hate that you've killed her off. I can forgive many things of an author, but this isn't one of them!
2MionefanI realize that this is not a Harry/Hermione story, but I hate that you've killed her off. I can forgive many things of an author, but this isn't one of them!
4/10 c144 2AvidReader2425
Just reading this great chapter while smoking my tobacco pipe, with some Lord of the rings style tobacco, some nice old Toby lol. Thank you very much for another excellent and really entertaining chapter, even if I am very worried about McGonagle. As for the final punishment for the pink toad, I wholeheartedly approve. Once again, thanks for another really great chapter.
2AvidReader2425Just reading this great chapter while smoking my tobacco pipe, with some Lord of the rings style tobacco, some nice old Toby lol. Thank you very much for another excellent and really entertaining chapter, even if I am very worried about McGonagle. As for the final punishment for the pink toad, I wholeheartedly approve. Once again, thanks for another really great chapter.
4/10 c6 3Detsella Morningdew
Even in canon, I always thought that Dumbledore's problems were from bad habits from earlier in his life that he either didn't break, or didn't realize were still affecting him, rather than actual evil.
A big thing a lot of authors get wrong, is that canon Dumbledore would be absolutely horrified to realize he was still practicing "For the Greater Good" by accident.
If you managed to get him to truly understand what he was doing, that is.
And I like seeing better Dumbledores. I look forward to reading your version.
3Detsella MorningdewEven in canon, I always thought that Dumbledore's problems were from bad habits from earlier in his life that he either didn't break, or didn't realize were still affecting him, rather than actual evil.
A big thing a lot of authors get wrong, is that canon Dumbledore would be absolutely horrified to realize he was still practicing "For the Greater Good" by accident.
If you managed to get him to truly understand what he was doing, that is.
And I like seeing better Dumbledores. I look forward to reading your version.
4/10 c144 TootsiePop
What kind of morons decide to go back to the castle when they are told if they do they will lose something they can't replace? Two idiots that could have waited a half hour for the aurors to leave. Dumb dumbs.
What kind of morons decide to go back to the castle when they are told if they do they will lose something they can't replace? Two idiots that could have waited a half hour for the aurors to leave. Dumb dumbs.
4/10 c144 alphaknight480173
nope not happy. for what this scum has done throughout this story she is simply obliviated. no not happy at all, this isn't a punishment, yes she will be a baby in an adults body but no that was not a suitable punishment for this scum.
public disemboweling would just about cover it and after everything this scum has done within the wizarding world I do mean, just. its punishment should've been public and enlightening proving the scum it was leaving no doubt that IT would have zero power over anything.
I will add this is still a very well written story and I do enjoy reading it, but this chapter let me down. it took far to long to deal with the scum and then to do a permanent obliviate as a punishment for everything It, sorry but that creature is so below a human I cannot call it anything but it.
I look forward to the next chapter, as I said I truly enjoy this story it is well written and a new take on a powerful harry story, thank you for your hard work.
nope not happy. for what this scum has done throughout this story she is simply obliviated. no not happy at all, this isn't a punishment, yes she will be a baby in an adults body but no that was not a suitable punishment for this scum.
public disemboweling would just about cover it and after everything this scum has done within the wizarding world I do mean, just. its punishment should've been public and enlightening proving the scum it was leaving no doubt that IT would have zero power over anything.
I will add this is still a very well written story and I do enjoy reading it, but this chapter let me down. it took far to long to deal with the scum and then to do a permanent obliviate as a punishment for everything It, sorry but that creature is so below a human I cannot call it anything but it.
I look forward to the next chapter, as I said I truly enjoy this story it is well written and a new take on a powerful harry story, thank you for your hard work.
4/10 c144 Maverick123214685
I think umbridge needed to be dealt with, she was out of control, and harry’s right that it needed to be done quietly in a way that the ministry had no one to pursue.
I think umbridge needed to be dealt with, she was out of control, and harry’s right that it needed to be done quietly in a way that the ministry had no one to pursue.
3/31 c143 2AvidReader2425
Thank you very much for another entertaining chapter. Really enjoyed how the dominoes started to fall, and the house of cards started to crumble. Although, since the story has been a while, and I read a lot of Fanfiction’s at the same time lol, where exactly did Tom come from again? Did he come from the diary, because I’m pretty sure Voldemort is still doing his thing lol. Unless Tom is Voldemort, but I don’t think that’s the case considering the reaction of Lucy here lol. Regardless of my faulty memory, thanks for another fun chapter.
2AvidReader2425Thank you very much for another entertaining chapter. Really enjoyed how the dominoes started to fall, and the house of cards started to crumble. Although, since the story has been a while, and I read a lot of Fanfiction’s at the same time lol, where exactly did Tom come from again? Did he come from the diary, because I’m pretty sure Voldemort is still doing his thing lol. Unless Tom is Voldemort, but I don’t think that’s the case considering the reaction of Lucy here lol. Regardless of my faulty memory, thanks for another fun chapter.
3/28 c143 Guest
This was such a great chapter. I love how everything is working behind the scenes.
This was such a great chapter. I love how everything is working behind the scenes.