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7/29/2019 c1 24Ricardo the Black Hawk
Hello OwlsCantRead, after spending a lot of time occupied elsewhere, it's time I checked out this story and see what you have to offer. I enjoy our previous talk and thought it was time I checked this story out.

Writing style, you've delivered a great writing performance here. This is your first ever Rio story? This is beyond anything I've ever wrote in the past and the quality really does show. I see nothing but amazing writing, with detail and sentence structure being your strongest points.

As far as errors go, there were a couple minor ones, but nothing too bad as to diminish from the overall story. But trust me, I'm beyond giving this story a negative review and this is easily a great start.

Now, let's get onto the story. A great concept with the truck driver, I've browsed this archive since 2012 and I do not recall a single author has tried a concept like this, so well done for trying out such a concept. I look forward to updates.
6/19/2019 c1 1monsterjamvadim
Oh boy
6/19/2019 c1 2OrangeMacawWorld
Hello, there! I am OrangeMacawWorld, a renowned author on this archive is responsible for the likes of "Don't Go" and "A Blue Bride." I often review other people's stories in order to evaluate their strengths and weaknesses, and to provide constructive criticism as well as to name things in a story which I enjoy. As you are new to the site, I would like to sincerely welcome you to the Rio Archive!

When I first looked into this story a few hours prior to this, I did not expect all that much given its premise, but it is something that I have never seen done before, and I eventually decided to read your work as a result. Now that I am done reading this first chapter, I will state that by all technical accounts, this is easily one of the best stories that I have seen from a newcomer to the Archive in a very long time, probably since the middle of 2014.

The spelling, grammar, and punctuation did not exhibit any flaws to the best of my examination, and the overall writing style certainly reminds me of Michael Crichton's to a certain extent, though that may just be me as there are plenty of differentiating features. As for the description, it is definitely not as extensive as that featured in some other stories I have read, (namely "The Estrella") but given the style of writing, it is probably a good thing that there was not too much detail. Even still, I was easily able to visualize the events occurring and every action felt coherently connected to something else, which leaves me very impressed.

Even the pacing is well-done, and the research you did (especially when concerning the SC.7 Skyvan) is thorough, reminding me somewhat of the research that I do for my stories. As for the dialogue, it is believable and never seems out of place, and the same applies to the characters.

Really my only component of criticism is that I think Matt's dialogue could have been a tad bit longer. Also, the detail is very good, but it could have been slightly better (for example, is Matt fair-skinned, dark-skinned, or something in between?) Overall, I see great potential in your writing here, and in all honesty, I would have to say that you already qualify for the True Rio Authors Community, (which I am a staff member of) and trust me, it is not an easy task to live up to its standards. Apart from that, I look forward to your next chapter, and I say good day.

Respectfully, OrangeMacawWorld

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