for Harry Potter and the Friend with Benefits6/17 c68 dragon slayer of death 98
i really hope daphne, astoria or her mom don't get raped by death eaters and voldemort
i really hope daphne, astoria or her mom don't get raped by death eaters and voldemort
6/13 c67 amortentiate
Very good chapter. Made for good reading. You touched base with a lot of characters and made it look seamless.
Ron and Ginny being horny teens was a laugh out moment. I'm guessing it's their pop who caught them.
Harry is rich but not richer than Smaug the dragon. That's good. It's still a lot of money that can be put to good use. Harry and his gang can do a lot of good with all the money they have at hand.
All children should grow up with loving parents. It is a laudable effort of Harry's.
Looks like Harry is getting the pair of Greengrass sisters, one way or the other. Very nice.
There were a few spelling mistakes that kinda stood out. You pore over a book or manuscript. Unless of course you are pouring over a jug of liquid over the books or manuscripts. lol
Cheers
Very good chapter. Made for good reading. You touched base with a lot of characters and made it look seamless.
Ron and Ginny being horny teens was a laugh out moment. I'm guessing it's their pop who caught them.
Harry is rich but not richer than Smaug the dragon. That's good. It's still a lot of money that can be put to good use. Harry and his gang can do a lot of good with all the money they have at hand.
All children should grow up with loving parents. It is a laudable effort of Harry's.
Looks like Harry is getting the pair of Greengrass sisters, one way or the other. Very nice.
There were a few spelling mistakes that kinda stood out. You pore over a book or manuscript. Unless of course you are pouring over a jug of liquid over the books or manuscripts. lol
Cheers
6/11 c67 red demon161
Awesome chapter. Hehe Ron and Ginny are so busted. So Dumbledore finally got a search together, took him long enough. Harry's letters were interesting. It was a nice twist for Harry to given custody of Astoria if something happened to her parents and he is of age.
Though the pervert in me was more interested in the Concubine Contract with Daphne. :)
Awesome chapter. Hehe Ron and Ginny are so busted. So Dumbledore finally got a search together, took him long enough. Harry's letters were interesting. It was a nice twist for Harry to given custody of Astoria if something happened to her parents and he is of age.
Though the pervert in me was more interested in the Concubine Contract with Daphne. :)
6/10 c1 DevilishPotato
I never really liked bestiality, at least not when the animal isn't the MC, which in this case means I won't like it. such a shame really, it would have been good to see an animagus Harry potter, or metamorphmagus Harry taking the shape of the animals or perhaps just changing the male parts to that of animals, unless seeing an animal hump a girl is your kinda of kink, if it is, I won't say anything but anything that has been touched by an animal I'll say it's been tainted and it just ruins the whole thing. just saying
I never really liked bestiality, at least not when the animal isn't the MC, which in this case means I won't like it. such a shame really, it would have been good to see an animagus Harry potter, or metamorphmagus Harry taking the shape of the animals or perhaps just changing the male parts to that of animals, unless seeing an animal hump a girl is your kinda of kink, if it is, I won't say anything but anything that has been touched by an animal I'll say it's been tainted and it just ruins the whole thing. just saying
6/1 c66 amortentiate
This chapter didn't hit quite the levels that I had wanted. I'm a tad disappointed.
The nursery was very creepy. Is this what all the ladies have in their future? Be broodmares for Harry Potter. They are all teenagers. Too young to be thinking about anything other than nooky and where and how to get it. Not babies.
Fleur's accent gave me a headache. You could've just put up a throwaway line or something like 'and Fleur said in accented English...'. That entire bit of dialogue was painful to read.
What's with Hermione backsliding here? She just came out as bi to her parents last chapter, and suddenly she is straight again? Or straight with a preference for dickgirls maybe.
Harry calling Ron a lover was a throw up in your mouth kinda moment. Hopefully we'll have the Iris identity be separate soon-ish.
Harry getting a home to call his own was heartwarming. That was definitely the highlight of this chapter.
Cheers
This chapter didn't hit quite the levels that I had wanted. I'm a tad disappointed.
The nursery was very creepy. Is this what all the ladies have in their future? Be broodmares for Harry Potter. They are all teenagers. Too young to be thinking about anything other than nooky and where and how to get it. Not babies.
Fleur's accent gave me a headache. You could've just put up a throwaway line or something like 'and Fleur said in accented English...'. That entire bit of dialogue was painful to read.
What's with Hermione backsliding here? She just came out as bi to her parents last chapter, and suddenly she is straight again? Or straight with a preference for dickgirls maybe.
Harry calling Ron a lover was a throw up in your mouth kinda moment. Hopefully we'll have the Iris identity be separate soon-ish.
Harry getting a home to call his own was heartwarming. That was definitely the highlight of this chapter.
Cheers
5/28 c66 lemonydelight
Btw this chapter is repeated 6 times (7 in total; the initial post then it repeats 6 more times).
I love how emotional Harry gets when discussing a future family. Do hope we get to see that future of his. Ideally more than just a glimpse of it at the end.
One critique regarding this chapter. While I'm used to the use of ellipses in this fic, the sheer abundance of them during Harry & Fleur's conversation made it quite difficult to read. I get it was meant to display their hesitancy with one another, but many could've just been commas or periods and would've given the same effect. Another way to do this is to break up the dialogue by stating what the character is doing or feeling. For example: ["*dialogue*", she paused staring nervously at Harry, "*continue dialogue*"] or ["*dialogue*", she stared at her hands gathering her thoughts. "*continued dialogue*"]. Hopefully this comes off as it's meant to be, as constructive criticism, and not me trying to bash you in any way.
Btw this chapter is repeated 6 times (7 in total; the initial post then it repeats 6 more times).
I love how emotional Harry gets when discussing a future family. Do hope we get to see that future of his. Ideally more than just a glimpse of it at the end.
One critique regarding this chapter. While I'm used to the use of ellipses in this fic, the sheer abundance of them during Harry & Fleur's conversation made it quite difficult to read. I get it was meant to display their hesitancy with one another, but many could've just been commas or periods and would've given the same effect. Another way to do this is to break up the dialogue by stating what the character is doing or feeling. For example: ["*dialogue*", she paused staring nervously at Harry, "*continue dialogue*"] or ["*dialogue*", she stared at her hands gathering her thoughts. "*continued dialogue*"]. Hopefully this comes off as it's meant to be, as constructive criticism, and not me trying to bash you in any way.
5/28 c66 dragon slayer of death 98
er dude its like 5 or 6 repeats of the chapter, you might want to fix that
er dude its like 5 or 6 repeats of the chapter, you might want to fix that
5/28 c66 red demon161
Nice. Potter Manor is awesome. I loved the design. I also liked that Harry had to control himself to not get started on knocking up his harem.
Fleur in a French maid outfit was hot. Now I want to see other girls in French maid outfits. I do hope to see more of Fleur's kinks.
One thing shot out to me with the manor. No dungeon? Any reason the chapter was repeating?
Nice. Potter Manor is awesome. I loved the design. I also liked that Harry had to control himself to not get started on knocking up his harem.
Fleur in a French maid outfit was hot. Now I want to see other girls in French maid outfits. I do hope to see more of Fleur's kinks.
One thing shot out to me with the manor. No dungeon? Any reason the chapter was repeating?
5/22 c65 red demon161
Always happy to see an update. So the Granger think what had happened was a dream. A very vivid dream. After Hermione came clean about her relationships I thought Lilith was going to have fun with the Grangers while Harry and Hermione went and had fun together.
I was hoping with the Granger around Harry would of been inspired to have some kinky father-daughter role play with Hermione, she is such a daddy's girl after all.
Always happy to see an update. So the Granger think what had happened was a dream. A very vivid dream. After Hermione came clean about her relationships I thought Lilith was going to have fun with the Grangers while Harry and Hermione went and had fun together.
I was hoping with the Granger around Harry would of been inspired to have some kinky father-daughter role play with Hermione, she is such a daddy's girl after all.
5/22 c65 amortentiate
Very good chapter. I love it how Harry finally got to say goodbye to his parents. That was some needed closure.
Good for Hermione to come out to her parents. Love it even more that they are the supportive type. My only gripe is you went for Dan and Emma as names for them. Kinda overused by now, don't you think?
Nice and quiet chapter this one was. Hopefully the next one can make up for the missing naughtiness. lol
Cheers
Very good chapter. I love it how Harry finally got to say goodbye to his parents. That was some needed closure.
Good for Hermione to come out to her parents. Love it even more that they are the supportive type. My only gripe is you went for Dan and Emma as names for them. Kinda overused by now, don't you think?
Nice and quiet chapter this one was. Hopefully the next one can make up for the missing naughtiness. lol
Cheers
4/30 c64 amortentiate
Fun chapter. We need more chapters like this, where people are just catching up with each other.
This chapter didn't have much of smut though. That was a miss. We really could use more smut in our reading. lol
Fleur is affected just like Romilda but handles her condition better. It would be fun to see Fleur with the Gang.
Remus and Dora. Ugh. Yuck! I honestly hope you have other plans for poor Dora. A vivacious woman like N. Tonks shouldn't be stuck with a self pitying stuck in the mud like R. Lupin.
Cheers
Fun chapter. We need more chapters like this, where people are just catching up with each other.
This chapter didn't have much of smut though. That was a miss. We really could use more smut in our reading. lol
Fleur is affected just like Romilda but handles her condition better. It would be fun to see Fleur with the Gang.
Remus and Dora. Ugh. Yuck! I honestly hope you have other plans for poor Dora. A vivacious woman like N. Tonks shouldn't be stuck with a self pitying stuck in the mud like R. Lupin.
Cheers
4/29 c64 red demon161
Nice. Looks like Harry has got another submissive babe in his harem. I loved Fleur watching him and Lilith. I thought it was hot when Harry offered Sirius the use of any of his pets. Glad Harry got some sexy time with Lilian, his sexy case-worker. :)
Nice. Looks like Harry has got another submissive babe in his harem. I loved Fleur watching him and Lilith. I thought it was hot when Harry offered Sirius the use of any of his pets. Glad Harry got some sexy time with Lilian, his sexy case-worker. :)
4/15 c63 amortentiate
Honestly, I expected the action to continue in this chapter. Getting a incomplete sense of feeling. Does that make sense?
I wonder what the papers would say. Or is the Ministry still with their heads buried in the sand?
Hermione is getting to be quite a libertine. lol I love it! More of that of course. Ginny should be having a lot of fun that night.
Harry/Lilith/Fleur threesome next?
Cheers
Honestly, I expected the action to continue in this chapter. Getting a incomplete sense of feeling. Does that make sense?
I wonder what the papers would say. Or is the Ministry still with their heads buried in the sand?
Hermione is getting to be quite a libertine. lol I love it! More of that of course. Ginny should be having a lot of fun that night.
Harry/Lilith/Fleur threesome next?
Cheers
4/14 c63 red demon161
Nice very nice. I loved how you portrayed the aftermath of the battle. Canon Harry would of probably screamed and shouted demanding answers. Here he's matured enough to know there is a time and place for everything.
Why did Katie stay with the Weasleys and not with her family? It's been awhile since we've seen Fleur. I do hope see goes to Grimmauld with Harry.
Nice very nice. I loved how you portrayed the aftermath of the battle. Canon Harry would of probably screamed and shouted demanding answers. Here he's matured enough to know there is a time and place for everything.
Why did Katie stay with the Weasleys and not with her family? It's been awhile since we've seen Fleur. I do hope see goes to Grimmauld with Harry.
4/3 c62 amortentiate
Oh that was a good one. You were in fine form when you wrote this one.
Very good battle scene. Very cinematic. Harry came across as very badass. Very nice!
You unfortunately cut off at the worst possible point. Aargh!
Cheers
Oh that was a good one. You were in fine form when you wrote this one.
Very good battle scene. Very cinematic. Harry came across as very badass. Very nice!
You unfortunately cut off at the worst possible point. Aargh!
Cheers