for Harry Black Book 1: The Hero Returns8/26/2024 c8 
2Dscot
Harry should be mocking Weasley for having a disgusting pet. rats pisses on everything that means Weasley is covered in rat piss. Weasley is holding the rat while eating he has rat urine all over him. That’s disgusting. I don’t care how poor you are. That’s disgusting.
2DscotHarry should be mocking Weasley for having a disgusting pet. rats pisses on everything that means Weasley is covered in rat piss. Weasley is holding the rat while eating he has rat urine all over him. That’s disgusting. I don’t care how poor you are. That’s disgusting.
8/26/2024 c4 Dscot
I’m really enjoying reading your book so far of course we only went through the shopping chapter which is always fun. Personally I don’t think that he should be friends with the same people. Canon Harry was a mentally broken boy who latched onto the first time people that walk by. And not to mention Cannon Harry was kind of a loser because he had no social skills this Harry should have social skills. I do love Hermione. I think she’s an amazing character, but honestly, no child would go out of their way to be friends with Hermione. without knowing her importance in the Harry Potter world there is no way somebody’s willing to make friends with her because of her attitude in her behaviour. I would not be surprised if the only reason Ron and canon was excepted in Gryffindor was the fact that he was friends with Harry. And probably in this story the only reason he survived in Gryffindor is because his brothers are there to protect him but I have a hard time believing he has any friends. Ron will only drag Harry down, not to mention the Weasley family are creepy as hell. Neville Ron and Hermione requires more effort to be put into create and maintain friendship. there will be no equal he will have to do more work to maintain it.
I’m really enjoying reading your book so far of course we only went through the shopping chapter which is always fun. Personally I don’t think that he should be friends with the same people. Canon Harry was a mentally broken boy who latched onto the first time people that walk by. And not to mention Cannon Harry was kind of a loser because he had no social skills this Harry should have social skills. I do love Hermione. I think she’s an amazing character, but honestly, no child would go out of their way to be friends with Hermione. without knowing her importance in the Harry Potter world there is no way somebody’s willing to make friends with her because of her attitude in her behaviour. I would not be surprised if the only reason Ron and canon was excepted in Gryffindor was the fact that he was friends with Harry. And probably in this story the only reason he survived in Gryffindor is because his brothers are there to protect him but I have a hard time believing he has any friends. Ron will only drag Harry down, not to mention the Weasley family are creepy as hell. Neville Ron and Hermione requires more effort to be put into create and maintain friendship. there will be no equal he will have to do more work to maintain it.
8/26/2024 c3 Dscot
I think this is a good Sirius, though I’ve always liked Sirius and I felt like he’s the only one in Harry’s life in the original canon that actually cared about Harry happiness over other peoples opinions. I felt the reason Sirius was a little bit more reserved in canon was he didn’t want to alienate his godson since canon Harry by then was chugging Dumbledore’s Kool-Aid.
Wow Dumbledore just comes and the Tonks just roll over for him. Who could’ve predicted that I say sarcastically. I’m a bit disappointed in this Harry, he can clearly see his godfather didn’t trust Dumbledore. He should have been following his godfather’s example.
There’s no benefit in going to Hogwarts three of the seven main classes are taught by an incompetent professors. On to of that three of the five electives are also taught by unqualified professors. again there’s no benefit for Harry to go but if he had to go, I would require Dumbledore to give an unbreakable vow that Harry Potter will not be harmed under his protection.
I think this is a good Sirius, though I’ve always liked Sirius and I felt like he’s the only one in Harry’s life in the original canon that actually cared about Harry happiness over other peoples opinions. I felt the reason Sirius was a little bit more reserved in canon was he didn’t want to alienate his godson since canon Harry by then was chugging Dumbledore’s Kool-Aid.
Wow Dumbledore just comes and the Tonks just roll over for him. Who could’ve predicted that I say sarcastically. I’m a bit disappointed in this Harry, he can clearly see his godfather didn’t trust Dumbledore. He should have been following his godfather’s example.
There’s no benefit in going to Hogwarts three of the seven main classes are taught by an incompetent professors. On to of that three of the five electives are also taught by unqualified professors. again there’s no benefit for Harry to go but if he had to go, I would require Dumbledore to give an unbreakable vow that Harry Potter will not be harmed under his protection.
8/26/2024 c1 Dscot
Just because Pettigrew ended up being a traitor doesn’t mean Remus is not a trader too. Black has the same reasons to believe lupin a trader as he did pbefore he found out about Pettigrew. I’ll admit I don’t like Remus and I was hoping he wasn’t going to be mooching off the Blacks. my opinion on Lupin is he is a cowardly miserable treacherous individual. Anyone involved in the order of the Phoenix is not to be trusted. That is Dumbledore version of death eater.
I really hope Hagrid is he responsible for the attempt of kidnapping. I always get annoyed how people brush over how much of a criminal Hagrid is. Just because he’s a moron doesn’t mean that excuses him for breaking so many laws.
Just because Pettigrew ended up being a traitor doesn’t mean Remus is not a trader too. Black has the same reasons to believe lupin a trader as he did pbefore he found out about Pettigrew. I’ll admit I don’t like Remus and I was hoping he wasn’t going to be mooching off the Blacks. my opinion on Lupin is he is a cowardly miserable treacherous individual. Anyone involved in the order of the Phoenix is not to be trusted. That is Dumbledore version of death eater.
I really hope Hagrid is he responsible for the attempt of kidnapping. I always get annoyed how people brush over how much of a criminal Hagrid is. Just because he’s a moron doesn’t mean that excuses him for breaking so many laws.
8/22/2024 c8 Grammar Fiend
Buy a grammar primer. Learn how to use an apostrophe. Learn the difference between plural and possessive. There are NO apostrophes in pluralizations. Your story is interesting so far, but your grammar needs some work.
Buy a grammar primer. Learn how to use an apostrophe. Learn the difference between plural and possessive. There are NO apostrophes in pluralizations. Your story is interesting so far, but your grammar needs some work.
7/20/2024 c4 csheila
New house but friends with Hermione, Neville, and Twins. But if you losr all the Weasels that’s okay. Luna
New house but friends with Hermione, Neville, and Twins. But if you losr all the Weasels that’s okay. Luna
7/20/2024 c1 csheila
Great opening.
Appropriately sad but no one is torn to bits.
Poor Neville. Dumboes will be on hom like a rash
Great opening.
Appropriately sad but no one is torn to bits.
Poor Neville. Dumboes will be on hom like a rash
7/9/2024 c7 John Maitland
I once met a girl like Astoria in August 23rd, 1944. She was a 16-year-old Chinese girl named
Lin Po. She was very sweet, gutsy and sexy but not easily scared or stupid. I might have
married her had she not been shot by a U.S. soldier mistaking her for a Jap girl. I shot him back,
killing him.
I once met a girl like Astoria in August 23rd, 1944. She was a 16-year-old Chinese girl named
Lin Po. She was very sweet, gutsy and sexy but not easily scared or stupid. I might have
married her had she not been shot by a U.S. soldier mistaking her for a Jap girl. I shot him back,
killing him.
6/6/2024 c15 Mr.Fluppy
Hope you take Astoria's suggestions and have harry goes with another girl to have Daphne pissed
Hope you take Astoria's suggestions and have harry goes with another girl to have Daphne pissed
6/5/2024 c12 Mr.Fluppy
Is it wrong that I want to enter your fanfic and just *made a gesture of strangling someone*
Is it wrong that I want to enter your fanfic and just *made a gesture of strangling someone*
6/4/2024 c6 Mr.Fluppy
Hmmm, I kinda see you gonna put Astoria in Gryffindor because her dialogue says "she's gonna lived her remaining life without regret" and her facing down her blood curse with a brave front is a massive foreshadowing, then again, fanonically speaking, Astoria is a bubbly and energetic kid which is why in most daphrry fics with Astoria in it, she always ends up in Gryffindor or ravenclaw
Hmmm, I kinda see you gonna put Astoria in Gryffindor because her dialogue says "she's gonna lived her remaining life without regret" and her facing down her blood curse with a brave front is a massive foreshadowing, then again, fanonically speaking, Astoria is a bubbly and energetic kid which is why in most daphrry fics with Astoria in it, she always ends up in Gryffindor or ravenclaw