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for A Vampire's Life

5/20/2021 c2 DuckedHard
Why make her a vampire if you're gonna strip away 99% of what makes vampires vampires? Pointless.
5/18/2021 c8 Surion1243
Salut ! Excellente fanfiction, j'ai passé un super moment, les personnages sont profonds, l'histoire est sombre et torturée. Bref fanfiction au top je vais définitivement me pencher sur tes autres fic.
Continue comme ça !
2/21/2021 c7 Pzm
Wow, and here we have a vampire who's afraid of blood and a 11 year old boy! I like your writing style, but damn is your main character infuriating.
1/24/2021 c8 3Kreivan Reyhers
Just finished reading the seven chapters, really well done, structure is very good. I myself enjoy the long chapters, the detail you’ve put so far into the world you’ve been constructing is exquisite.
1/22/2021 c7 Sherodx
hehe suck dick author imagine vampire fic where vampires are fucking lame mosquitoes and they even age XDDD
12/16/2020 c7 Rairi Valelira
Did you edit chapters or something? I was really hoping for a new one and only got this. Or maybe redoing them. Anyways I really enjoy the fanfic but every update is something ive read already. And no message about what is going on.
12/5/2020 c6 john86710
Nice chapter, the school is 7 years though, you had 8 earlier, and also when you put furniture, you mean their school things.

Furniture normally means something else.

And while Draco has probably been told about who he will marry etc hes still only 11 so He probably wouldn't care about that right not, but I bet he would still be annoying
12/4/2020 c5 Pzm
I hate this whole vampire that doesn't want to fucking drink blood, you're taking this to a point that it's so annoying.
12/4/2020 c2 Sherodx
fuck you you made vampires mortals who are a little stronger than wizards xddd and you said that twilight vampires were joke? your vampires are a little better "enjoy life and grow old"
she is no vampire just human wannabe vampire
12/1/2020 c5 3SignDowny
This is probably the best Fem Harry story I have read so far. I really love the plot and the depth of it. I really enjoy reading it and can barely wait for the next chapter.
11/29/2020 c4 3Hoodedgenius98
I have a few question about your breed of vampirism. Does it have to be blood from a HUMAN or can it be from veela, werewolf, leprechaun or goblin. And could a vampire live off animals?
11/29/2020 c4 john86710
Pretty interesting, and the soulbond with Lyria and Daphne is nice. Hopefully we get to Hogwarts soon!
11/25/2020 c1 That lone knight
he does simply not exist... he simply doesn't exist?
5/17/2020 c7 4Ad Homonym
Seamus Finnegan's description has a misplaced modifier. It's not a problem; the sentence is perfectly legible and even understandable, it just implies that his eyes are what have a strong Irish accent.

The bit about their rooms was a nice piece of worldbuilding. Writers building even the little details like that always make stories unique. It does beg the question of whether the corridors move via magic as the students of that year ascend to the next year, and if the prefects have to learn the new location of the first year corridors each year so they can conduct their introduction properly. Will Lyria or Daphne end up being a prefect one year and have to hold that ceremony?

The "deal" between Snape and Lyria doesn't really seem like much of a deal. Lyria not acting up should be the standard expectation of her as a student, though maybe considering Snape's opinion of her prior to this event I could understand him seeking reassurance that she would behave, and indifference is the bare minimum expectation of Snape as a teacher at Hogwarts. I understand she doesn't want to rock the boat, but I think she would have negotiated for a better deal, especially considering her interest in potions. I think it would have been better if, when he met her after class, he asked whether she genuinely had interest in potions or was just showing off, then when she responds positively he offers additional lessons during her free time if she promises to behave. She would then take the deal and start to trust Snape more. Not immediately, though; it doesn't fit Lyria's established character to go from outright enemies to friends with someone after one class period and frankly it doesn't fit Snape's that well either. There should be a few class periods wherein he keeps a close eye on her to ensure that she's not acting up before he tells her to stay behind again and schedules the extracurricular potions lessons. Then, when they meet for the extra lesson, he should make a point of reminding her that the first time she breaks the rules, her extra lessons stop. Of course, he should get more lenient as time goes on and she proves to be a good student, such that when breaking the rules *does* prove necessary he will let her off and maybe even help her solve whatever the problem is if she attempts to explain it.

Having read all available chapters, I believe this could benefit from a rewrite, at the very least the beginning. You really seem to hit your stride around chapter 4, like your vision for events cements and you can build them properly, but before that it feels like you're throwing everything at the story to see what sticks. There are unique bits in the early story (the decidedly good Dumbledore, the disagreeable but not bad McGonagall) and by-the-numbers bits in later chapters (the "it takes a long time to find Lyria's wand because she's unique" thing comes to mind), but for the most part everything comes together in the last three chapters.
5/17/2020 c6 Ad Homonym
Dumbledore playing protector for Lyria at Ollivander's was a cool change of pace; normally he's the one digging into people's minds in these stories. A lot of this story is a change of pace, which isn't a bad thing, but it does make the by-the-numbers bits stick out more, like generic components in a heavily customized machine.

More house-elf ex machina? Was it really necessary to do that? She could easily have asked Daphne how to get to 9 3/4 and even arranged to meet her there if she was going to be lonely. I know you're probably sick of hearing this from me, but I don't like how that's shaping up. What's to stop house elves from solving *every* problem by miraculously having the perfect power to deal with it?

The train ride was cool. I'm sure you'll be relieved that I have nothing big enough to complain about there, and seeing Lyria use her potions and poisons knowledge was neat.

Wait, what? She hates the muggles? All of them? When did that happen? I must have skipped the part where the entire population of Earth was lining up to beat and rape her. And why does she not draw the same conclusion about magicals when she hears about Daphne's suffering? It's not like that's any more justified. I'm gonna be honest, this feels like another one of those early development moments that she outgrew as she developed as a character, but it was never changed. It's like it only exists to draw a comparison between Lyria and Voldemort and, personally, I don't think that's a good enough reason. There's nothing wrong with her being put in Slytherin, obviously, but it should be because *she* belongs there, not because Voldemort went there. The hat also told her she was hardworking and sought knowledge, but aside from passive mentions of her plant and animal collections that house elves could be attending to for all the readers know, there's only one scene I can recall where she's shown doing anything but relaxing and chatting: the one where she's making potions and Daphne is reading a book on vampires. That's not to say the hat's wrong, but the story might benefit from a few more scenes showcasing those virtues.
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