for One Piece: Lightning Dragon2/3 c11 Blue-Happens
putting a grammar error disclaimer doesn't absolve this from having rampant bad grammar.
is it a poor translation?
If you're young, or if English isn't your first language then its completely forgivable, because the effort of making a written story in the first place will improve you over time.
It is pretty egregious tho. Not only misspelled words, but completely wrong words that almost fit, missing words in sentences, and dialogue that reads like a cheap manhua.
could certainly get an editing pass or 3. grammar is the easiest check you can do on revision.
putting a grammar error disclaimer doesn't absolve this from having rampant bad grammar.
is it a poor translation?
If you're young, or if English isn't your first language then its completely forgivable, because the effort of making a written story in the first place will improve you over time.
It is pretty egregious tho. Not only misspelled words, but completely wrong words that almost fit, missing words in sentences, and dialogue that reads like a cheap manhua.
could certainly get an editing pass or 3. grammar is the easiest check you can do on revision.
8/18/2024 c30 Me. E Guest
Whoa Epic story I can’t wait to see how Lucas interacts with Smoker and the rest of new crew that’s coming aboard Smoker’s ship.
I have a few questions
1. Will Lucas work on perfecting the lightning element specifically recreating techniques from Naruto Like Kakashi’s and Sasuke’s Chidori, Chidori Stream , and the Kirin, also the Fourth Raikage Lightning Cloak and any other Lightning Justus, and also from Yugioh The Blue Eyes White Dragon’s White Lightning Attack or Blues Eyes Ultimate Dragon’s Neutron Blast.
2. Would Lucas eventually get a sword or hammer that’s imbue with a devil fruit power specifically like the power to control or manipulate the weather or would he eat said devil fruit with said weather control powers.
3. Since he has a Tiger would he also get another pet like say a wolf or a griffin or maybe another Tiger but it’s both Albino and a Female with devil fruit power over ice, hey I just imagine khan eating a fire devil fruit similar to Ace’s fire devil fruit but it produces blue flames.
4. Would Lucas end up meeting his Cousins Luffy , Ace and Sabo later on or be the one who chases after Luffy and his Crew in the Cannon Events instead of Smoker.
That’s all also This is an EPIC STORY!
Whoa Epic story I can’t wait to see how Lucas interacts with Smoker and the rest of new crew that’s coming aboard Smoker’s ship.
I have a few questions
1. Will Lucas work on perfecting the lightning element specifically recreating techniques from Naruto Like Kakashi’s and Sasuke’s Chidori, Chidori Stream , and the Kirin, also the Fourth Raikage Lightning Cloak and any other Lightning Justus, and also from Yugioh The Blue Eyes White Dragon’s White Lightning Attack or Blues Eyes Ultimate Dragon’s Neutron Blast.
2. Would Lucas eventually get a sword or hammer that’s imbue with a devil fruit power specifically like the power to control or manipulate the weather or would he eat said devil fruit with said weather control powers.
3. Since he has a Tiger would he also get another pet like say a wolf or a griffin or maybe another Tiger but it’s both Albino and a Female with devil fruit power over ice, hey I just imagine khan eating a fire devil fruit similar to Ace’s fire devil fruit but it produces blue flames.
4. Would Lucas end up meeting his Cousins Luffy , Ace and Sabo later on or be the one who chases after Luffy and his Crew in the Cannon Events instead of Smoker.
That’s all also This is an EPIC STORY!
5/30/2024 c30 
2merendinoemiliano
Very well described, happy as usual to see you around. At what point of canon are we, tought?
2merendinoemilianoVery well described, happy as usual to see you around. At what point of canon are we, tought?
5/29/2024 c30 Gigame
oh hey, welcome back. it's nice to see from you again, and once more a nice chapter to set up future ones, I was wondering where you will take this story after the poachers. and a bit of worrying that you
dropped this but its great that you didnt :D.
anywho, the change of pov is interesting as we gained insight on the mind of smoky although I feel that it's a bit short, IDK i think that's just me.
oh hey, welcome back. it's nice to see from you again, and once more a nice chapter to set up future ones, I was wondering where you will take this story after the poachers. and a bit of worrying that you
dropped this but its great that you didnt :D.
anywho, the change of pov is interesting as we gained insight on the mind of smoky although I feel that it's a bit short, IDK i think that's just me.
5/26/2024 c2 Eltari
Not to sound rude, but it clearly shows that English is not your first language. I found myself having to constantly re-read multiple words or sentences because they didn’t sound right. For instance, at the start of the chapter when his mother called out to him that breakfast was ready you replied with “I’m going” but the correct response would have been “I’m coming”. ‘Going’ is a word more used when a person is leaving a location (I.e a building or a site), whereas ‘coming’ is moving to the callers location.
Not to sound rude, but it clearly shows that English is not your first language. I found myself having to constantly re-read multiple words or sentences because they didn’t sound right. For instance, at the start of the chapter when his mother called out to him that breakfast was ready you replied with “I’m going” but the correct response would have been “I’m coming”. ‘Going’ is a word more used when a person is leaving a location (I.e a building or a site), whereas ‘coming’ is moving to the callers location.
5/10/2024 c29 Aveiro01
The story is incredibly slow up to this point. It should become a bit faster and a timeskip may be a good idea to catch up to the main story. I understand that you would want to introduce some characters first and create some bonds but now after intoducing Smoker seems like a good time for that. Also you should not neglect things like Haki. Of course he first needs to controll his devil fruit, but since he is older than Luffy he should start training in it earlier and be even closer to mastery after the timeskip after Marineford.
The story is incredibly slow up to this point. It should become a bit faster and a timeskip may be a good idea to catch up to the main story. I understand that you would want to introduce some characters first and create some bonds but now after intoducing Smoker seems like a good time for that. Also you should not neglect things like Haki. Of course he first needs to controll his devil fruit, but since he is older than Luffy he should start training in it earlier and be even closer to mastery after the timeskip after Marineford.
5/7/2024 c29 Guest
Is this story ever going to actually get anywhere? Also is the MC going to be a moron like Smoker and basically ignore Haki meaning he has zero chance of reaching Admiral. Some thing he would know and would have written down since you decided to play the retarded "no memories" dues ex machina. So far this story has been idiotic and a complete waste of time
Is this story ever going to actually get anywhere? Also is the MC going to be a moron like Smoker and basically ignore Haki meaning he has zero chance of reaching Admiral. Some thing he would know and would have written down since you decided to play the retarded "no memories" dues ex machina. So far this story has been idiotic and a complete waste of time
5/7/2024 c15 Guest
Your story is Garbage, your MC is supposedly a guy in the 30s who is acting like a 12 year old edgelord who wants to pretend at being batman but sucks at it because they are an incompetent moron.
Your story is Garbage, your MC is supposedly a guy in the 30s who is acting like a 12 year old edgelord who wants to pretend at being batman but sucks at it because they are an incompetent moron.
5/7/2024 c5 Guest
So far this story had been bad, the MC is a moron and the plot is slow and boring
So far this story had been bad, the MC is a moron and the plot is slow and boring
5/7/2024 c3 Guest
Yeah drop lol
Yeah drop lol
3/23/2024 c9 realfan16
ouch, the suspense build up needs dome work. If i may suggest, the readers don't need that much info during event narration, some ppl are so good at predicting the plot that saying 'little did he knew that he ship he talked about with such disdain hid a dragon'...a need less spoiler that cleared any suspense about the mysterious OC whose POV was taken.
ouch, the suspense build up needs dome work. If i may suggest, the readers don't need that much info during event narration, some ppl are so good at predicting the plot that saying 'little did he knew that he ship he talked about with such disdain hid a dragon'...a need less spoiler that cleared any suspense about the mysterious OC whose POV was taken.
3/22/2024 c8 realfan16
Now that's one way of making Oc that author should consider. why create randos no one will remember when you can make a cameo of iconic characters .
Now that's one way of making Oc that author should consider. why create randos no one will remember when you can make a cameo of iconic characters .
3/22/2024 c7 realfan16
hope we won't have to see a training montage of gis time in Marineford. Just the last scene of a man and his tiger overlooking the sunset was foreshadowing asf. i already can see a future scene. some name less pirate's pov: They were so close to escape , they just had to get to the balcony and jump down. Just across the street laid the harbor , the overly large marine ship would surely take time to undock. But then just as they reached the balcony and prepared to jump down.
"What a beautiful sunset!" Came the soft exclamation from somewhere in their left. He couldn't help the sheer dread that overtook him the moment he heard. His two other companions were not better as they resigned themselves to their fate. It might've been a three on one and they only had to escape but each knew it was hopeless. The man calmly sitting on the roof right to their left, seemingly not having noticed them continued to pet his Khan the fearsome tiger from which the insignia of the Khan Marines were based on. They knew they were no match for the captain who was rumoured to be a storm god, facing him on sea was plainly suicidal...
hope we won't have to see a training montage of gis time in Marineford. Just the last scene of a man and his tiger overlooking the sunset was foreshadowing asf. i already can see a future scene. some name less pirate's pov: They were so close to escape , they just had to get to the balcony and jump down. Just across the street laid the harbor , the overly large marine ship would surely take time to undock. But then just as they reached the balcony and prepared to jump down.
"What a beautiful sunset!" Came the soft exclamation from somewhere in their left. He couldn't help the sheer dread that overtook him the moment he heard. His two other companions were not better as they resigned themselves to their fate. It might've been a three on one and they only had to escape but each knew it was hopeless. The man calmly sitting on the roof right to their left, seemingly not having noticed them continued to pet his Khan the fearsome tiger from which the insignia of the Khan Marines were based on. They knew they were no match for the captain who was rumoured to be a storm god, facing him on sea was plainly suicidal...