for Ascension12/7 c4 
2Hopefulmonkey
what he is suggesting is like the opposite of being a pokemon 'Trainer'. And being able to think and develop elaborate plans/strategies in the middle of a battle is like the most important quality that a trainer must have. just the fact that it not being his strong suit is the same as having a large sign cling to him stating that he has zero potential as a trainer.
2Hopefulmonkeywhat he is suggesting is like the opposite of being a pokemon 'Trainer'. And being able to think and develop elaborate plans/strategies in the middle of a battle is like the most important quality that a trainer must have. just the fact that it not being his strong suit is the same as having a large sign cling to him stating that he has zero potential as a trainer.
12/3 c40 Zephyrain
Nearly 7 months without a chapter. Writer's either done or is only uploading to a place where paying people can read it.
Nearly 7 months without a chapter. Writer's either done or is only uploading to a place where paying people can read it.
9/15 c17 Monotant
Okay I have to conplain a bit here. It has been 17 chaps and this "adventure" isnt going anywhere and i found not much of the humor part. There is like 5 tragedies in the making and so many hurt it might actually hurt me as a reader. This is good read btw but come on tag your fanfic correctly, there is no way this isnt a tragedy.
Okay I have to conplain a bit here. It has been 17 chaps and this "adventure" isnt going anywhere and i found not much of the humor part. There is like 5 tragedies in the making and so many hurt it might actually hurt me as a reader. This is good read btw but come on tag your fanfic correctly, there is no way this isnt a tragedy.
8/23 c24 mathdump
You've done something that few fics do; given the pokemon, not the humans, but the pokemon, complex, compelling backstories and motivations. Skarmory and Scyther are such tragic figures, but their growth and determination in the face of their baggage is just beautiful. I'm particularly attached to skarmory in particular
You've done something that few fics do; given the pokemon, not the humans, but the pokemon, complex, compelling backstories and motivations. Skarmory and Scyther are such tragic figures, but their growth and determination in the face of their baggage is just beautiful. I'm particularly attached to skarmory in particular
8/23 c22 mathdump
Rock in traditional pokemon is one of the weaker types, but the way you portrayed them...they sound terrifying indeed
Rock in traditional pokemon is one of the weaker types, but the way you portrayed them...they sound terrifying indeed
8/19 c16 mathdump
I personally disagree with other people's sentiments about Ritchie; he serves a valuable purpose as a foil and a dissection of common tropes. We have Red, who while technically not a trust fund baby, is clearly very well connected and privileged, even if he doesn't intentionally leverage his unearned advantages. Ritchie on the other hand, is the average joe, trying to make his way through the world with what he has. In the typical shounen anime, Red would be trapped in mediocrity or abusing his privileges to get ahead only to be later humbled, but because he's the MC, is instead made into a decent human being. Ritchie on the hand, should be the MC, who rises to the top despite his lack of resources, but instead suffers the ignominious fate of having a bad day that snowballs into a life ruining event. Ritchie serves as an excellent literary device that allows you to explore topics that you'd find difficult to fit in otherwise; how much luck plays into everyday success, how life is not a fairy tale and how our enemies, no matter how vile they seem, are very much human and complex.
I personally disagree with other people's sentiments about Ritchie; he serves a valuable purpose as a foil and a dissection of common tropes. We have Red, who while technically not a trust fund baby, is clearly very well connected and privileged, even if he doesn't intentionally leverage his unearned advantages. Ritchie on the other hand, is the average joe, trying to make his way through the world with what he has. In the typical shounen anime, Red would be trapped in mediocrity or abusing his privileges to get ahead only to be later humbled, but because he's the MC, is instead made into a decent human being. Ritchie on the hand, should be the MC, who rises to the top despite his lack of resources, but instead suffers the ignominious fate of having a bad day that snowballs into a life ruining event. Ritchie serves as an excellent literary device that allows you to explore topics that you'd find difficult to fit in otherwise; how much luck plays into everyday success, how life is not a fairy tale and how our enemies, no matter how vile they seem, are very much human and complex.
8/19 c20 CreepySnake
I... Have no idea what happened to this fic. What started out as a Red goes into a rather dangerous and realistic pokémon world got extremely riddled with Protagonist syndrome driven anomalies, with Mia, who had been living her life freely developing some crazy stuff and now Red also going off the kilter.
Your description does not, in any shape or form, depict your vision for this story. Had the description said something about the pokémon world being insanely dangerous for humans and pokémon alike I would understand it somewhat... Now that I think about it, even then I wouldn't have understood shit.
Oak says pokémon need to believe they are under humans cause otherwise they can destroy towns with ease, but then a regular rocket grunt takes out a Feraligatr (A mon that you yourself specify to be a monster of a mon and one of the strongest water mons of its region) with a single bullet, from some handgun of his, not even a rifle.
Introducing firearms to the pokémon world aside, the story spent a massive amount of time in Viridian forest and entirely went off track with the rocket debacle. You began skipping what you yourself were building towards.
Red in the start did not appear to have terrible family circumstances. Delia was not what she has not become. Then suddenly we had bloodthirsty Ritchie (This is kid btw, who was somehow angry enough to attempt murder), Red forgetting he promised to return to Mia in a month and then the forest and rocket shit.
Honestly the only reason I got this far was because the writing itself is great and Mawile is precious.
Before writing your next story, I hope you take out time to think what it's going to be about.
I... Have no idea what happened to this fic. What started out as a Red goes into a rather dangerous and realistic pokémon world got extremely riddled with Protagonist syndrome driven anomalies, with Mia, who had been living her life freely developing some crazy stuff and now Red also going off the kilter.
Your description does not, in any shape or form, depict your vision for this story. Had the description said something about the pokémon world being insanely dangerous for humans and pokémon alike I would understand it somewhat... Now that I think about it, even then I wouldn't have understood shit.
Oak says pokémon need to believe they are under humans cause otherwise they can destroy towns with ease, but then a regular rocket grunt takes out a Feraligatr (A mon that you yourself specify to be a monster of a mon and one of the strongest water mons of its region) with a single bullet, from some handgun of his, not even a rifle.
Introducing firearms to the pokémon world aside, the story spent a massive amount of time in Viridian forest and entirely went off track with the rocket debacle. You began skipping what you yourself were building towards.
Red in the start did not appear to have terrible family circumstances. Delia was not what she has not become. Then suddenly we had bloodthirsty Ritchie (This is kid btw, who was somehow angry enough to attempt murder), Red forgetting he promised to return to Mia in a month and then the forest and rocket shit.
Honestly the only reason I got this far was because the writing itself is great and Mawile is precious.
Before writing your next story, I hope you take out time to think what it's going to be about.