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for Perci Tonks? Demigoddess or Witch?

5/17 c1 2weirdhead
If a god rape a hunter, Artemis wouldn’t even look at her. She did that to Callisto, who got raped by Zeus. I find she is hypocrite, looking what she did to Niobe's daughters who paid by their lives for their mother's mistake or Agemenon's daughter who got killed on altar. And she killed maidens. I don’t think Artemis would be pleased to meet her.
10/16/2019 c5 Dmorrison
I think you shoukd rewrite this as it is a good story but thier are some mistakes. for the pairing hermionie or ginny.
10/15/2019 c5 Alynn2018
If you rewrite this story, I think Fleur and Perci could be an interesting couple.
10/15/2019 c5 6Mr.Salvos
Not Fleur because unless you change the time it's too difficult to put her in because it's at the order of the Pheonix and they're at France not were ever Hogwarts is so Daphne will be interesting and I'd like to see that if you change her personality to be more Roman unless you use the overused opposites attract cliche.
8/28/2019 c4 Mr.Salvos
If you don't have anyone else I will take it up I'll change up if I'm alowed to make a couple of changes to fit my style more
8/26/2019 c3 Mr.Salvos
you didn't need a disclaimer may be a read through the whole thing before ranting you made it obvious you shouldn't care. Instead of putting the cutting yourself in the conversation you should've just put it as a thought that made it seem forced. Put in the conversation don't make the dialogue in thoughts I know it can seem repetitive using say a lot you can also use reply and answered plus more plus use contractions more (during Ron's homophobic tantrum) you should also get a spell checker you spelling along with bad grammar there are websites and some apps for that. Don't way whats in the wands put it as AN or Ollivander whatever his name is store scene if you want to other than that use gay some of the time instead of lesbian that got repetitive
7/5/2019 c2 Mr.Salvos
a bunch of spelling errors
7/2/2019 c1 Mr.Salvos
not much could do better but you should've put "because he's Snape" in parenthesis that confused me

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