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for Post-Apocalyptic Potter from a Parallel Universe

1/8 c30 GroveWolf
'in the bed' should be 'in bed'.
1/7 c28 GroveWolf
they either were, or were planning,- needs rewording.
1/7 c27 GroveWolf
he had never seen before. did you mean 'like he had never seen him before'? or were you just referring to Tony never seeing that look on Harry?
"how are things your side?" did you mean it to be like that?
sitting on a chair, with hands behind her back? that sounds uncomfortable.
"stop Mandarin's and his" probably Mandarin.
1/7 c26 GroveWolf
unleashed the other guy. unleash.
1/7 c25 GroveWolf
He came too slowly. too-to.
friend's minds. friends' minds, I'd say.
captors, who has. has-have.
a save environment. safe I assume.
left into the house.
1/7 c24 GroveWolf
and island - an island
he held out a lay? what's a lay? the hawaiian is lei I believe.
of his face. off I think.
1/7 c23 GroveWolf
descent upon us-descend upon us
I don't think it's call 'an ailing'. I don't think ailing is a noun.
harms' way, I think it's singular. harm's way.
fun chapter. although, is there not a privacy screen for the flying carpet? look out but not in for instance?
1/7 c22 GroveWolf
safe to breath-breathe
when I mentioned I had forgotten the auction, I was right. I thought there was supposed to be an island auction. I had forgotten about the art. more about the art and how pepper plans to use it would be interesting. However, I do know you've finished the story already. But just in case you ever decide to rework it . . .
1/7 c21 GroveWolf
setup. a setup is a noun, the action is two words. set up.
"controlled emulations" emulation is to be like someone or something else. to emulate, or emulators. I think you mean simulations.
the moment he wrote out the secret and thinks Clint should keep it in his bag, I got a bad feeling. this seems like obvious foreshadowing. It also seems like a bad idea to have something like that loose. I would've thought that Harry would tell Clint that he could add whoever Clint wanted if he just let him know. Also, I expected Harry to suggest another Fidelius hidden tunnel. a bug out system.
the auction, the island, oh right. I would've thought that the Avengers' House is on the island. the way it was set up with everything they needed. But if you're going to have an island, it's probably going to have everything they need, again. seems redundant.
Now that I think about it, where did the Phoenixes go? were they still in Harry's dimension? because he said nothing survived, so either the Phoenixes died or went elsewhere, possibly another dimension.
Suddenly realized, Sif called Ashwinders 'worms'. are they? because I don't think Harry can speak to them if they're worms. only if they're snakes. that'll be interesting to find out.
eluded to - elude means to evade. I think you mean alluded to.
1/7 c20 GroveWolf
peal of fire. I've never heard of that before. are you sure it's not something else?
after an hour they had enough. I guess I would've said 'they'd had enough', or 'they had had enough'.
1/7 c19 GroveWolf
Just thinking, about Harry saying there must be a way to turn the power off. I recall seeing an X-Men episode and it had mutants with physical changes. I know Beast was his own fault, but other mutants' changes aren't. so how are they able to change back? I think this attitude is a bit wrong-headed.
'best whiskey, if not alcohol in general, in existence' that's awkward and should be rewritten.
The Ogden's - a possessive that should be plural. The Ogdens.
body-suite. change suite to suit.
baring gifts - bearing gifts
"pore potions"? did you mean more potions?
"subjects' request" isn't it just Sif's request? so that should be Subject's, right?
1/6 c17 GroveWolf
'and are you?' did you mean to write 'and who are you?'?
'Be as it may'. I think the phrase is 'be that as it may'.
'reign her powers in'. rein.
1/6 c16 GroveWolf
family fault. vault, I assume?
I do poses the ability. possess.
both your phones has. have.
1/6 c14 GroveWolf
lay-lines. first I'm pretty sure it's spelled Ley, and that there's no hyphen.
a genius loci built my man. What? a genius loci? a loci is a point, or focus. did you mean built by man?
its water. it's.
marvellous devise. device.
1/6 c12 GroveWolf
Good grief. did that really need to happen to Hermione?
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