for Post-Apocalyptic Potter from a Parallel Universe1/8 c38 GroveWolf
eluded-alluded
Charles Xavier is saying he'd like to see the pensieve for himself? didn't he see it? is he covering up the fact that he's seen it?
eluded-alluded
Charles Xavier is saying he'd like to see the pensieve for himself? didn't he see it? is he covering up the fact that he's seen it?
1/8 c31 GroveWolf
Hey! I was right! Harry going around saying that you should be able to turn a power off was nonsense. does that mean that he'll take back what he said about Rogue?
her life wound, I think you meant would.
"if he was the only one who could retrieve it" that sentence needs to be reworked. I have to read it a few times to figure out that the He Odin is referring to is not himself.
hunger for life, sentence needs to be reworked.
Hey! I was right! Harry going around saying that you should be able to turn a power off was nonsense. does that mean that he'll take back what he said about Rogue?
her life wound, I think you meant would.
"if he was the only one who could retrieve it" that sentence needs to be reworked. I have to read it a few times to figure out that the He Odin is referring to is not himself.
hunger for life, sentence needs to be reworked.
1/7 c27 GroveWolf
he had never seen before. did you mean 'like he had never seen him before'? or were you just referring to Tony never seeing that look on Harry?
"how are things your side?" did you mean it to be like that?
sitting on a chair, with hands behind her back? that sounds uncomfortable.
"stop Mandarin's and his" probably Mandarin.
he had never seen before. did you mean 'like he had never seen him before'? or were you just referring to Tony never seeing that look on Harry?
"how are things your side?" did you mean it to be like that?
sitting on a chair, with hands behind her back? that sounds uncomfortable.
"stop Mandarin's and his" probably Mandarin.
1/7 c25 GroveWolf
He came too slowly. too-to.
friend's minds. friends' minds, I'd say.
captors, who has. has-have.
fairing-faring.
a save environment. safe I assume.
left into the house.
He came too slowly. too-to.
friend's minds. friends' minds, I'd say.
captors, who has. has-have.
fairing-faring.
a save environment. safe I assume.
left into the house.
1/7 c24 GroveWolf
and island - an island
he held out a lay? what's a lay? the hawaiian is lei I believe.
of his face. off I think.
and island - an island
he held out a lay? what's a lay? the hawaiian is lei I believe.
of his face. off I think.
1/7 c23 GroveWolf
descent upon us-descend upon us
I don't think it's call 'an ailing'. I don't think ailing is a noun.
dias-dais
harms' way, I think it's singular. harm's way.
fun chapter. although, is there not a privacy screen for the flying carpet? look out but not in for instance?
descent upon us-descend upon us
I don't think it's call 'an ailing'. I don't think ailing is a noun.
dias-dais
harms' way, I think it's singular. harm's way.
fun chapter. although, is there not a privacy screen for the flying carpet? look out but not in for instance?
1/7 c22 GroveWolf
safe to breath-breathe
when I mentioned I had forgotten the auction, I was right. I thought there was supposed to be an island auction. I had forgotten about the art. more about the art and how pepper plans to use it would be interesting. However, I do know you've finished the story already. But just in case you ever decide to rework it . . .
safe to breath-breathe
when I mentioned I had forgotten the auction, I was right. I thought there was supposed to be an island auction. I had forgotten about the art. more about the art and how pepper plans to use it would be interesting. However, I do know you've finished the story already. But just in case you ever decide to rework it . . .
1/7 c21 GroveWolf
setup. a setup is a noun, the action is two words. set up.
"controlled emulations" emulation is to be like someone or something else. to emulate, or emulators. I think you mean simulations.
the moment he wrote out the secret and thinks Clint should keep it in his bag, I got a bad feeling. this seems like obvious foreshadowing. It also seems like a bad idea to have something like that loose. I would've thought that Harry would tell Clint that he could add whoever Clint wanted if he just let him know. Also, I expected Harry to suggest another Fidelius hidden tunnel. a bug out system.
the auction, the island, oh right. I would've thought that the Avengers' House is on the island. the way it was set up with everything they needed. But if you're going to have an island, it's probably going to have everything they need, again. seems redundant.
Now that I think about it, where did the Phoenixes go? were they still in Harry's dimension? because he said nothing survived, so either the Phoenixes died or went elsewhere, possibly another dimension.
Suddenly realized, Sif called Ashwinders 'worms'. are they? because I don't think Harry can speak to them if they're worms. only if they're snakes. that'll be interesting to find out.
eluded to - elude means to evade. I think you mean alluded to.
whit-wit
setup. a setup is a noun, the action is two words. set up.
"controlled emulations" emulation is to be like someone or something else. to emulate, or emulators. I think you mean simulations.
the moment he wrote out the secret and thinks Clint should keep it in his bag, I got a bad feeling. this seems like obvious foreshadowing. It also seems like a bad idea to have something like that loose. I would've thought that Harry would tell Clint that he could add whoever Clint wanted if he just let him know. Also, I expected Harry to suggest another Fidelius hidden tunnel. a bug out system.
the auction, the island, oh right. I would've thought that the Avengers' House is on the island. the way it was set up with everything they needed. But if you're going to have an island, it's probably going to have everything they need, again. seems redundant.
Now that I think about it, where did the Phoenixes go? were they still in Harry's dimension? because he said nothing survived, so either the Phoenixes died or went elsewhere, possibly another dimension.
Suddenly realized, Sif called Ashwinders 'worms'. are they? because I don't think Harry can speak to them if they're worms. only if they're snakes. that'll be interesting to find out.
eluded to - elude means to evade. I think you mean alluded to.
whit-wit
1/7 c20 GroveWolf
peal of fire. I've never heard of that before. are you sure it's not something else?
after an hour they had enough. I guess I would've said 'they'd had enough', or 'they had had enough'.
peal of fire. I've never heard of that before. are you sure it's not something else?
after an hour they had enough. I guess I would've said 'they'd had enough', or 'they had had enough'.