Just In
for Crapsack World

7/23 c2 Guest
Last work? Hope you still alive see this.
5/21 c2 Freetimedude77
5/15/2020 c2 2BlueLancer
Man I really wish you'd update this
5/14/2020 c2 Spartan-A312
5/3/2020 c2 Petrus streamrock
Finally! A well writen Taimanin fanfict with a strong non pussy male lead. I'll be keeping my eyes on this.
10/19/2019 c2 CrazyGirlSama
I don't have Any idea bout where this is going, but i love it!
8/23/2019 c1 OmniPowerOfKrieg
Has a lot of promise, I don't know why but I feel a weird satisfaction reading fics that change the plot of hentai, especially those that take all hope for the "good guys", plus you got Guts involved, he's the equivalent of the Doom marine in a medieval setting with darker and more developed backstory.
All I suggest at this point is to get grammarly, it will help out a lot when you don't have a beta, you made(in my point of view) very few grammar mistakes that it will recognize and point out to you, the only thing you may miss is pacing and punctuation as those are premium assets.
8/22/2019 c1 17Ben56
This sounds good, i will be waiting the next chapter. Hopefuly Guts will calm down, so he can meet the girls in better circunstances. Thanks for the new story, see next time.
7/21/2019 c1 Guest
7/10/2019 c1 6Lucky DWG
Well not bad for the first chapter, while I would definently prefer a 4-5k words, its a good start. Now there are some problems here.
1. There are some words like wasn't where the (') is not there.
2. Wrong grammars in some places.
3. There are some sentences like this: As Ayame digested Kurenai word before she understood, it was too late when she got out of her shock.

All in all, number three kinda hurts. Here lemme fix that one for ya.

As Ayame digested Kurenai's words, it was too late when she got out of her shock.

I'm not dling this to belittle you. No, I'm just pointing out some mistakes that could still be prevented and/or fix.
All in all, not bad. Unfortunately, I CANNOT be your beta reader (if you don't have one) as I have a lot on my plate right now. Although I would like it if I have the chance.
So for now, good luck!
I'mma re-watch Berserk again, nostalgia of horror and betrayal comin right up!
7/8/2019 c1 kerrowe
Don't know the not Beserk series.
But it seems interesting.
7/5/2019 c1 darkpit65
Good start
7/3/2019 c1 21edboy4926
Interesting intro.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service