for Zabaniya: A Delusional Romance Between Assassin and Wizard7/16/2023 c6 Mernom
Just because you're skipping writing out the whole conversation about the characters explaining the situation to one another, doesn't mean all of the characters should immediately know the other side's full story. There are some pieces of information that wouldn't get shared in the first meeting like this, either for brevity's sake, or because the other side didn't earn the trust to know those facts.
To me, it seemed odd that Ron knew that Medea is known as the 'Witch of Betrayal'. He's not the sort to know the legends of some important figures from Greek myth. Especially if he thought of it as a muggle myth.
This means that either the Chaldea team introduced their servants in way too much depth for the situation (see my first point), or that one of the local servants mentioned it (doesn't seen likely, as mentioning such a title is not very diplomatic, and they weren't present in any case). I just can't see it come up in the conversation in my head.
Just because you're skipping writing out the whole conversation about the characters explaining the situation to one another, doesn't mean all of the characters should immediately know the other side's full story. There are some pieces of information that wouldn't get shared in the first meeting like this, either for brevity's sake, or because the other side didn't earn the trust to know those facts.
To me, it seemed odd that Ron knew that Medea is known as the 'Witch of Betrayal'. He's not the sort to know the legends of some important figures from Greek myth. Especially if he thought of it as a muggle myth.
This means that either the Chaldea team introduced their servants in way too much depth for the situation (see my first point), or that one of the local servants mentioned it (doesn't seen likely, as mentioning such a title is not very diplomatic, and they weren't present in any case). I just can't see it come up in the conversation in my head.
7/16/2023 c2 Mernom
First of all, I only read the first chapter so far. So if it ends up being rectefied further in, I have no way of knowing it right now, in which case feel free to discard this criticism.
Is this supposed to be a story about the romance between Harry and Mary? Because, IMO the 'how we got together' is a PRETTY important part of the story. Just skipping to 'and so we were a couple for two years now' really cheapens it.
First of all, I only read the first chapter so far. So if it ends up being rectefied further in, I have no way of knowing it right now, in which case feel free to discard this criticism.
Is this supposed to be a story about the romance between Harry and Mary? Because, IMO the 'how we got together' is a PRETTY important part of the story. Just skipping to 'and so we were a couple for two years now' really cheapens it.
8