for Harry Potter and The Blood-Soaked Succession3/7/2023 c17 Phazer12
Such a brilliant plot item used in the centaurs and how it will define the characterization. Plus the 6 coming dark lords...
Such a brilliant plot item used in the centaurs and how it will define the characterization. Plus the 6 coming dark lords...
12/29/2022 c17 Guest
My guy really trying not to put his political beliefs into a fanfic. Nazis aren't socialists. Marxism was far better than the Tsar's rule.
My guy really trying not to put his political beliefs into a fanfic. Nazis aren't socialists. Marxism was far better than the Tsar's rule.
12/26/2022 c17 Elly
Okay I was so glued to these past chapters I couldn't stop to review!
Either I didn't noticed because I was enthralled with the story or the typographical errors have greatly decreased(more likely:) and holy shit that Centaur reveal is amazing, the sense of horror and despair is just so...palpable. I can't imagine living in a world for 12k years desperately trying to keep things the same and not feeling it the correct decision to prevent billions of deaths. I'm not too familiar with the economists they mentioned so I'm going to look them up!
The body horror is getting a bit intense but it seems...correct and an organic way to have Harry's role as commander and being REQUIRED to delegate a lot of the fighting. Though it seems most of the aversion to Dark magic has diminished. Getting that euphoria...
I'm super disappointed that I've run out of chapters to read now! Bookmarked for sure, I'll be checking back and now I'm off to check out the rest of your writing. Thank you for this story! It's been a great ride so far, I've had such trouble finding interesting stories lately that aren't just full of angst and crying and whiny romance, like give me a fucking badass Harry anyday, sometimes cute fluffy-ness is good but ugh I can't stand the 100k words of whining after killing someone (this is literally a fic, where he ends up killing bellatrix in the ministry and this whole fic is him traumatized and horrified of himself, it was sort of interesting but I wanted to punch the screen repeatedly!)
Man the scope of this keeps getting broader with powers beyond our comprehension and the genesis of darkness about to unfold! Love it!
Okay I was so glued to these past chapters I couldn't stop to review!
Either I didn't noticed because I was enthralled with the story or the typographical errors have greatly decreased(more likely:) and holy shit that Centaur reveal is amazing, the sense of horror and despair is just so...palpable. I can't imagine living in a world for 12k years desperately trying to keep things the same and not feeling it the correct decision to prevent billions of deaths. I'm not too familiar with the economists they mentioned so I'm going to look them up!
The body horror is getting a bit intense but it seems...correct and an organic way to have Harry's role as commander and being REQUIRED to delegate a lot of the fighting. Though it seems most of the aversion to Dark magic has diminished. Getting that euphoria...
I'm super disappointed that I've run out of chapters to read now! Bookmarked for sure, I'll be checking back and now I'm off to check out the rest of your writing. Thank you for this story! It's been a great ride so far, I've had such trouble finding interesting stories lately that aren't just full of angst and crying and whiny romance, like give me a fucking badass Harry anyday, sometimes cute fluffy-ness is good but ugh I can't stand the 100k words of whining after killing someone (this is literally a fic, where he ends up killing bellatrix in the ministry and this whole fic is him traumatized and horrified of himself, it was sort of interesting but I wanted to punch the screen repeatedly!)
Man the scope of this keeps getting broader with powers beyond our comprehension and the genesis of darkness about to unfold! Love it!
12/26/2022 c9 Elly
Necromancy time! Dudley's vision is starting to unfold! I can see even canon!Harry having some skill at it if he could get past his distaste - he is uniquely familiar with death. The arch spoke to him.
Ooof I guess you don't want to keep people alive whom have just heard even a bit of your battle plan but that was pretty brutal. They *could* have been useful overseas. It really was a quite literal "leave them to the Death Eaters and Snatchers" huh "Join him, or die."
Necromancy time! Dudley's vision is starting to unfold! I can see even canon!Harry having some skill at it if he could get past his distaste - he is uniquely familiar with death. The arch spoke to him.
Ooof I guess you don't want to keep people alive whom have just heard even a bit of your battle plan but that was pretty brutal. They *could* have been useful overseas. It really was a quite literal "leave them to the Death Eaters and Snatchers" huh "Join him, or die."
12/26/2022 c8 Elly
Oooh, I really do like the theory that the protections left by Lily's sacrifice on the Dursley's house put a sort of shield of "goodness" or "obscurity" over it that made it hard for people to really focus on them more than just in passing. What helped prevent Harry from being killed or seriously hurt made it easier for his relatives to mistreat him without any sort of protectors.
Teenage boys in Surrey aren't really the sort to have illegal handguns but hey, Dudley's friends were the delinquent sort so I guess that can slide :) 5 points to [your house] for not using 'clip' though it drives me so crazy to hear it used for guns that quite obviously don't use ammo clips.
Polkiss is spelled with two 's' at the end.
And here we go putting together the army! More accurately, guerilla fighters but that sorta the current state of warfare anyway.
Oooh, I really do like the theory that the protections left by Lily's sacrifice on the Dursley's house put a sort of shield of "goodness" or "obscurity" over it that made it hard for people to really focus on them more than just in passing. What helped prevent Harry from being killed or seriously hurt made it easier for his relatives to mistreat him without any sort of protectors.
Teenage boys in Surrey aren't really the sort to have illegal handguns but hey, Dudley's friends were the delinquent sort so I guess that can slide :) 5 points to [your house] for not using 'clip' though it drives me so crazy to hear it used for guns that quite obviously don't use ammo clips.
Polkiss is spelled with two 's' at the end.
And here we go putting together the army! More accurately, guerilla fighters but that sorta the current state of warfare anyway.
12/26/2022 c7 Elly
There were a lot of names spelled wrong in this chapter which was a bit distracting because the first 6 chapters were all good. Dedalus, Abbott, Bulstrode, Millicent. I also couldn't figure out who Bertha was? Her name is only in the chapter once. Sorry if this is nitpicky, one more thing: the phrase 'Indian, dot not feather' is something that would only be said in the United States because 'Indian' in the UK would always mean from India. I also think it's sort of offensive? I don't really care but other people might.
This is still really interesting but editing and proof-reading has slid a little from the beginning - I'm noticing more spelling errors. It's pretty easy to ignore though other than the names which is a pet peeve of mine.
I do really appreciate that your capitalization game is on point! 'Muggle' 'Death Eater' etc. It's a common error around the fandom and it's very annoying.
I like the perspective of giving a reason WHY the magical community might be anti-Muggle. In canon it's not really discussed at all but magical society and creatures are shunted to the margins of the planet. It makes sense that many would be upset by it and upset to see so much of the Earth ravaged by war.
I'm kinda giggling at Harry saying he's 'anti-Dark magic' like kinda too late for that dear...
Curious what happens when Harry's body gives out? He seems sure he'll die but how? He could theoretically make a new one like Voldemort or how does that work?
Oooo, I got the gist but CPS is a United States agency, the Child protection system in England is through the Department for Education(DfE). I've noticed you're using US English which isn't a big deal (obviously you can tell I use it too!) but this is another glaring "American-ism".
Overall I'm still interesting in reading but another pass with an editor or beta-reader would really polish it up!
There were a lot of names spelled wrong in this chapter which was a bit distracting because the first 6 chapters were all good. Dedalus, Abbott, Bulstrode, Millicent. I also couldn't figure out who Bertha was? Her name is only in the chapter once. Sorry if this is nitpicky, one more thing: the phrase 'Indian, dot not feather' is something that would only be said in the United States because 'Indian' in the UK would always mean from India. I also think it's sort of offensive? I don't really care but other people might.
This is still really interesting but editing and proof-reading has slid a little from the beginning - I'm noticing more spelling errors. It's pretty easy to ignore though other than the names which is a pet peeve of mine.
I do really appreciate that your capitalization game is on point! 'Muggle' 'Death Eater' etc. It's a common error around the fandom and it's very annoying.
I like the perspective of giving a reason WHY the magical community might be anti-Muggle. In canon it's not really discussed at all but magical society and creatures are shunted to the margins of the planet. It makes sense that many would be upset by it and upset to see so much of the Earth ravaged by war.
I'm kinda giggling at Harry saying he's 'anti-Dark magic' like kinda too late for that dear...
Curious what happens when Harry's body gives out? He seems sure he'll die but how? He could theoretically make a new one like Voldemort or how does that work?
Oooo, I got the gist but CPS is a United States agency, the Child protection system in England is through the Department for Education(DfE). I've noticed you're using US English which isn't a big deal (obviously you can tell I use it too!) but this is another glaring "American-ism".
Overall I'm still interesting in reading but another pass with an editor or beta-reader would really polish it up!
12/26/2022 c6 Elly
omg I have read literally millions of words of Harry Potter fanfiction (I was trying to estimate it up right now and I got to 2 million easy with just 2 series' I've read)and this is the first time I've seen a scene with Dumbledore bowling. IT'S ON HIS CHOCOLATE FROG CARD!
For a minute I thought there was a continuity error with Voldemort's name being said and then Harry needing to get silenced but then realized it's because they are Shades, then felt silly.
One correction, the Nazi's were not actually socialists, "National Socialism" is like N. Korea calling themselves the Democratic Republic of , it's not actually socialist because the means of production were definitely not owned by the people. The government was set up as such - there was a dictator(Hitler), the society was heavily nationalist(fascist)and the economy was private companies but with the state heavily involved so it wasn't capitalism either. I thought for a sec it could be an intentional error but Dumbledore wouldn't make an mistake like that I don't think - he'd use Nazis or fascists seeing as he was actually around then in his 50s I believe.
omg I have read literally millions of words of Harry Potter fanfiction (I was trying to estimate it up right now and I got to 2 million easy with just 2 series' I've read)and this is the first time I've seen a scene with Dumbledore bowling. IT'S ON HIS CHOCOLATE FROG CARD!
For a minute I thought there was a continuity error with Voldemort's name being said and then Harry needing to get silenced but then realized it's because they are Shades, then felt silly.
One correction, the Nazi's were not actually socialists, "National Socialism" is like N. Korea calling themselves the Democratic Republic of , it's not actually socialist because the means of production were definitely not owned by the people. The government was set up as such - there was a dictator(Hitler), the society was heavily nationalist(fascist)and the economy was private companies but with the state heavily involved so it wasn't capitalism either. I thought for a sec it could be an intentional error but Dumbledore wouldn't make an mistake like that I don't think - he'd use Nazis or fascists seeing as he was actually around then in his 50s I believe.
12/25/2022 c2 Elly
I think the Jedi reference is neat because Episode 1 had filmed just outside London in 1997, I know Harry wouldn't really be up to date on the Muggle world too much but from what I remember of being a little kid Star Wars marketing was INSANE those years, writing and development started in 1993 then premiered in 1999. So spring of 1998 the hype is accelerating. Being that close to the actual filming permeated Star Wars mania that much further :) bit of trivia, the Harry Potter films used the same base location - Leavesden Studios.
Man, I need to re-read Deathly Hallows, I was so disappointed in it because I was very impatient as a teenager - a friend got ahold of a book about week early and spoiled the Epilogue to us with the ghastly children's names and the opening sequence w/ the 7 Potters irritated me right off the bat just seemed overly complicated and like something was GOING to go wrong, it should have gone smoothly to subvert expectations imo. The Polyjuice plan still gives me the creeps when I think about it but that's just a weird implication of Polyjuice in general of being able to see and grope someone else's body. Only thing I liked was Hedwig dying because I hate birds. I think JKR killed her off because having an owl would either have been too convenient on the run or she scrapped a 'get caught by the Death Eaters because of Hedwig' plot.
I can tell that you've actually read DH thoroughly and are very familiar with the source material as I'm not seeing weird canon errors and not thinking "wow it seems like s/he only saw the movies..."
Another great chapter - the reclaiming of Grimmauld was such a clever action scene. I didn't find it boring nor hard to follow - just the right amount of detail. Love Sirius and Reg and dang is that possession thing gonna come in handy. Understated horror with the Muggle violence. And ooooh if it's done well I like when Muggles join the fight, poor Myrtle's dad, send off a kid to magic school and just get your mind fucked with when she dies. It never is brought up in the series how and what they told her parents so I can imagine it happening like this. That laptop seems hella powerful!
I think the Jedi reference is neat because Episode 1 had filmed just outside London in 1997, I know Harry wouldn't really be up to date on the Muggle world too much but from what I remember of being a little kid Star Wars marketing was INSANE those years, writing and development started in 1993 then premiered in 1999. So spring of 1998 the hype is accelerating. Being that close to the actual filming permeated Star Wars mania that much further :) bit of trivia, the Harry Potter films used the same base location - Leavesden Studios.
Man, I need to re-read Deathly Hallows, I was so disappointed in it because I was very impatient as a teenager - a friend got ahold of a book about week early and spoiled the Epilogue to us with the ghastly children's names and the opening sequence w/ the 7 Potters irritated me right off the bat just seemed overly complicated and like something was GOING to go wrong, it should have gone smoothly to subvert expectations imo. The Polyjuice plan still gives me the creeps when I think about it but that's just a weird implication of Polyjuice in general of being able to see and grope someone else's body. Only thing I liked was Hedwig dying because I hate birds. I think JKR killed her off because having an owl would either have been too convenient on the run or she scrapped a 'get caught by the Death Eaters because of Hedwig' plot.
I can tell that you've actually read DH thoroughly and are very familiar with the source material as I'm not seeing weird canon errors and not thinking "wow it seems like s/he only saw the movies..."
Another great chapter - the reclaiming of Grimmauld was such a clever action scene. I didn't find it boring nor hard to follow - just the right amount of detail. Love Sirius and Reg and dang is that possession thing gonna come in handy. Understated horror with the Muggle violence. And ooooh if it's done well I like when Muggles join the fight, poor Myrtle's dad, send off a kid to magic school and just get your mind fucked with when she dies. It never is brought up in the series how and what they told her parents so I can imagine it happening like this. That laptop seems hella powerful!
12/25/2022 c1 Elly
I agree, out of the 3 there - self-cannibalization or any cannibalization seems the worst and most likely "throw-up able". And it couldn't be of the victim obviously because Voldie wasn't chomping on the corpses. I thought of drinking your blood for a sec but that's not even that weird of a fetish lmao. Murdering an unborn fetus is, well... not to get into it about abortion but that's literally what it is, not murder b/c murder is a legal word but killing. Ya I've read a few of the debates about it here and there and cannibalization usually tops the list, considering it has to be something 16 yr old Tom Riddle could feasibly do and I can't imagine for a second it would be sex-related at all.
This is so interesting. I've read just one harry makes a horcrux of his own volition (read a few in the horror genre where he's groomed into it by voldemort, interesting but a different tone) and it was less about the horcrux and more about the extreme angst he felt after the war for doing such an evil act so it didn't quite scratch the dark!Harry itch.
I often get really grossed out by and have to stop reading with body horror like in this case it would be the ritual and the curse but you've perfectly threaded the needle in giving enough details to not just gloss over it but lingering for shock value, I am very impressed with the delicate touch there.
And fuck yeah Draco! He did the right amount of pleading but accepted it before it got embarrassing and saying to fucking get the bastard was wonderful and I think perfectly in character.
thanks for writing i'm eager to keep reading
I agree, out of the 3 there - self-cannibalization or any cannibalization seems the worst and most likely "throw-up able". And it couldn't be of the victim obviously because Voldie wasn't chomping on the corpses. I thought of drinking your blood for a sec but that's not even that weird of a fetish lmao. Murdering an unborn fetus is, well... not to get into it about abortion but that's literally what it is, not murder b/c murder is a legal word but killing. Ya I've read a few of the debates about it here and there and cannibalization usually tops the list, considering it has to be something 16 yr old Tom Riddle could feasibly do and I can't imagine for a second it would be sex-related at all.
This is so interesting. I've read just one harry makes a horcrux of his own volition (read a few in the horror genre where he's groomed into it by voldemort, interesting but a different tone) and it was less about the horcrux and more about the extreme angst he felt after the war for doing such an evil act so it didn't quite scratch the dark!Harry itch.
I often get really grossed out by and have to stop reading with body horror like in this case it would be the ritual and the curse but you've perfectly threaded the needle in giving enough details to not just gloss over it but lingering for shock value, I am very impressed with the delicate touch there.
And fuck yeah Draco! He did the right amount of pleading but accepted it before it got embarrassing and saying to fucking get the bastard was wonderful and I think perfectly in character.
thanks for writing i'm eager to keep reading
12/17/2022 c17 Guest
I’d have to agree with The Sinister Man’s criticisms. This latest chapter just took a really weird turn. Introducing Austrian School economics thousands of years earlier while making sure the evils of the Great Society laws never came about seems quite nonsensical and honestly quite biased. Also wiping out Islam before it could take root just seems like a strange thing to throw in and just feels like it’s rooted in modern day islamaphobia. Oh, and at one point, when listing all the despotic butchers of history the centaurs could have stopped from coming to power, the author expressly equates Nelson Mandela with HITLER!
I’d have to agree with The Sinister Man’s criticisms. This latest chapter just took a really weird turn. Introducing Austrian School economics thousands of years earlier while making sure the evils of the Great Society laws never came about seems quite nonsensical and honestly quite biased. Also wiping out Islam before it could take root just seems like a strange thing to throw in and just feels like it’s rooted in modern day islamaphobia. Oh, and at one point, when listing all the despotic butchers of history the centaurs could have stopped from coming to power, the author expressly equates Nelson Mandela with HITLER!
12/13/2022 c17 
1TheGreatBubbaJ
Harry, MOM, Voldemort, maybe the Flamels get their own bracket, perhaps Grindewald back, dunno, dunno.
1TheGreatBubbaJHarry, MOM, Voldemort, maybe the Flamels get their own bracket, perhaps Grindewald back, dunno, dunno.
12/13/2022 c17 4The Sinister Man
The fuck?! So Earth would be a utopia if only the Centaurs had introduced the Austrian School of Economics 10,000 years early and also wiped out Islam? "No Adolf Hitler. No Nelson Mandela." Seriously? WTF!
4The Sinister ManThe fuck?! So Earth would be a utopia if only the Centaurs had introduced the Austrian School of Economics 10,000 years early and also wiped out Islam? "No Adolf Hitler. No Nelson Mandela." Seriously? WTF!
12/13/2022 c1 1cruelkillzone
horcruxi? already a hard pass on this story. author can't even look up or remember basic info from the series
1cruelkillzonehorcruxi? already a hard pass on this story. author can't even look up or remember basic info from the series
12/13/2022 c1 Guest
Just found this story looks really interesting. You could’ve used Bellatrix I guess if you wanted a pregnant woman I think she should be pregnant right now if you follow the cursed child.
Just found this story looks really interesting. You could’ve used Bellatrix I guess if you wanted a pregnant woman I think she should be pregnant right now if you follow the cursed child.
11/24/2022 c5 Cool Guest
The author completely forgot that Harry couldn't apparate in his current health. That's why he was using the motorcycle in the first place!
Also if Harry should have used the killing curse on anyone it should have been that mutant abomination. Yet, he didn't even try.
This has become a story to indulge in violence, which is fine, nothing wrong with being into that, but a story can indulge in over the top violence while also making sense and abiding by it's own rules.
The narration is proving to be a bit unreliable already, so I now fully expect inconsistencies between what we saw in Dudley's dream and future events.
The author completely forgot that Harry couldn't apparate in his current health. That's why he was using the motorcycle in the first place!
Also if Harry should have used the killing curse on anyone it should have been that mutant abomination. Yet, he didn't even try.
This has become a story to indulge in violence, which is fine, nothing wrong with being into that, but a story can indulge in over the top violence while also making sense and abiding by it's own rules.
The narration is proving to be a bit unreliable already, so I now fully expect inconsistencies between what we saw in Dudley's dream and future events.