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11/7/2019 c4 55MythGirl Writes
Now that's some quality character development right there. I live for character development like this. Sure, it was delayed, but her love for Momoki is surely stronger than she ever expected. (Also, as I told signel and may have already told you, I love the addition of other characters from Danganronpa in this universe.)
Such a nice ending, I love that it ended with a humerous note. Your entire writing style is great, and I can't wait to read more of your writing!
11/7/2019 c3 MythGirl Writes
Whoa, I didn't even know that was possible! Good thing they got it checked out, haha. Definitely not what the expectation is for pregnancy.
I'm glad that Kaede and Maki made up, it was a little wild of her to claim that Maki was trying to steal the spotlight when Maki doesn't like that kind of attention. I think this is one of the first times, too, it's explicitly mentioned that Maki is still an assassin in this universe. Good to know lol
And it's Momoki, like from Ghost Hunt! Very cool that you did that.
11/6/2019 c2 MythGirl Writes
I like the reason you gave on why Maki doesn't like kids in this scenario, it definitely adds something to her character rather than the reason being unknown or no reason at all.
The carrying over of Kaito calling the kids mini Kaede and Shuichi adds a little something, too, in a more humerous way than obnoxious way, as he now understands why it might've been an unwelcome nickname. That's some good growth right there.
Once again, I feel that I might know what was on that ultrasound...can't wait to read the next chapter to find out!
11/5/2019 c1 MythGirl Writes
I was directed here after finishing Ultimate Love Story, and I'm not disappointed in the least! I read that in only a few days, and I fully expect to do the same here- I can't get enough of these fankids!
I have a bit of an inkling of what might be happening next, and I'm excited to see how it unfolds. There's any number of possibilities to explore.
8/8/2019 c4 132signelchan
I have been asking myself how I’m going to review this chapter for over a week now, because every time I think about doing it I think about how my method for the first three chapters would be highly ineffective with this, seeing as there are only two scenes. But then I realized, I can gush all I want about those two scenes and I have the word space for it, so here we go, I guess.

SIXTEEN.

Where we left off, Momoki was just a baby, but now he’s old enough to be in grade school—and picking fights while there, no less. I love how you reference my original story about Momo and what happens in it, cementing its status as canon to our set of fics, but that’s just a tiny blip in the radar of what this scene really is. He’s a forgetful little boy, and this is a fact that his caretaker father knows but his hate-filled mother doesn’t, and she finds this out about him when he leaves his lunch behind; she has no idea that giving that back to him leads to a missing tooth and a fight while in school. I mean, it makes sense that the kid’s a feisty one, he’s got one hell of a combative pair of parents, but he fights another kid because he insults his mother.

You know, the mother that couldn’t care less about Momo as a living, breathing person living in her house. At least we know that the boy loves her without her needing to reciprocate, but at the same time that fact leaves a lingering sadness in my heart to think too much about. He deserves the world, and is only receiving it from one parent (I mean…look at the fact that he’s a collector, he’s gotta be getting those things from someone), and that’s just not right, honestly.

SEVENTEEN.

Which leads us to the final scene of the fic, which is a doozy and a half. Between scenes Momo has gone from grade school to graduation, which is a huge jump except you’re particularly well-versed in older Momo, so it’s not like you’re grasping at straws for how he’d act in his teenage years. As the Ultimate Collector, he’s given a spot at Hope’s Peak, which is fantastic for him and for his parents, all for different reasons. (As an aside, I love how he’s been possessing his collection-minded spirit since while completely “invisible” in the womb, that’s still hilarious to me.) So anyway, he goes to this highly prestigious high school and is out of his mother’s hair for that time, and Maki is beyond thankful for this because she doesn’t have to spend day after day staring at a child she never asked for.

This comes back to bite her in the single saddest thing I think I’ve read from you in a long while, because the scene of her looking at her pissed facial expression in all of the pictures that she’s in with Momo makes my heart ache. That is the moment where she realizes she’s openly resented this kid who adores her for the entirety of his life, and now he’s basically an adult and she’s wasted all that time being sour. Thankfully Kaito’s a decent fucking human being and understands this, even though he’s the one who pointed it out, and now that the realization has been made, it’s time to grow from it. The graduation scene is amazing and I love the references to so many of my other fanchildren in it, even if not by name, but before you even get to that we get to see our precious Saihara Squad once again and see how they’ve grown up.

I refuse to believe that Aika and Kochou are both actual, legitimate adults at this point, btw, because they’re just my little babies. c': No but seriously, they’re all there to watch Shikou graduate as well, and as Shikou and Momo are besties it’s just perfect that they got to go through the journey at the school together. But anyway, it’s while they’re interacting with the Saiharas that Maki begins to show off her new perspective towards her child, and that’s so heartwarming that it makes all of her expressions of love that follow even more powerful. She may have taken far too long to learn how to love the kid, but she got around to it and it’s all the sweeter for him to know his mom feels the same way towards him that he’s always felt about her.

There’s so much more I could say but I’m going to cut this here, don’t be afraid to ask me about more thoughts if you’re curious about things. I really appreciate you taking the time to write this story based in my storyverse with my fanchildren running amok, and I love how you made the wild story about one Momoki Momota and his parents something that wasn’t just played for laughs. You’re amazing and I love you, haha.

Signel
8/7/2019 c4 46GreenPokeGuy
Oh wow Maki "I fuckin hate my kid" Momota does have a heart after all
8/1/2019 c1 8gold.spenser
Oh My GoD dId TsUmUGi make A Mother fucking JOJO refernce
8/1/2019 c4 43lon'quesadilla
Last chapter hype! Oh man, and what an ending! I loved that Momo fought for his mom’s honor at school (even if he lost a tooth over it), because that’s so sweet and ofc something he’d do. In turn, Maki’s revelation was great and something that really needed to happen, so yay that it finally did and it seems to be on its way to resolution. The graduation was exciting and congrats to those kiddos for making it through school. I’m sad to see this story over, but it couldn’t have had a better ending. It was absolutely kooky but oh so enjoyable, good work. I’m looking forward to hopefully reading more fics of these characters!
7/27/2019 c3 132signelchan
ELEVEN.

And so everything come out, and quickly. When we last saw the couple, they were clearly about to hear some life-changing news, but no one could have predicted that it would be /this/ life-changing. (Well, except me and you, because we came up with this plot and you wrote it.) Maki has a complete breakdown over what she learned and goes through all sorts of angry stages in a matter of minutes, ultimate culminating in what ends up being the full reveal of the news to the reader—as well to their friends.

This scene is good for the amounts of mood whiplash you put everyone through with every few lines or so, and the part of this that begins with the moment that Kaede and Shuichi show up is the prime example of that. There is so much going on in that small bit of the story that it feels every other paragraph your head and heart are being jolted somewhere else. They show up, Maki does her judgmental-about-Kaede thing she’s so good at, then they get into the news, which is broken to them in such a way that it comes out as innocent, which then changes to the monster of a reveal that it is. This whole time, since the start of the story, Maki’s been pregnant and not a damn person’s known about it, and because she’s getting the surprise of her life and looks fabulous doing it, it’s obviously the Worst Possible Thing Going On. And yet, even with the way that she makes it so clear that she wants no part of this, she’s still accused of making things up to make Kaede look bad. Geez, here’s another bitch fight, eh?

TWELVE.

Well, guess you can’t have a first baby without a baby shower, but this one…kinda sucks in terms of attendance, doesn’t it? Yeah it’s incredibly last minute but they could’ve at least invited some strippers or something to liven the mood. Tenko’s a bitch, Himiko is adorable as always, Ryoma’s just doing what he can, and Kirumi is the friendship-saving MVP that everyone needs in their life. Sure she shouldn’t have gone behind backs to invite others, but that large rift needed resolution and clearly everyone understood it. Plus, in fixing that problem, another problem was solved, so that’s a win-win for them! Except the fact that there’s a baby that’s spurred all of this happening in the first place, that’s not really a good thing, I guess.

The other good thing about the Saiharas getting dragged into this scene is that they bring with them three cute children, and while we don’t get to see Toumi much, and Kochou is really only there to cause trouble (oh, and because she has to be there, I suppose), Aika does what is probably the cutest thing in this whole story. She may only be four years old but she understands what it means to be a good friend a lot better than her mom does, that’s for sure.

THIRTEEN.

Birth time! Which, given how strange and—dare I say /unusual/—the situation is, there’s really no other way for this to play out than as difficult as possible. I mean, she probably could’ve been thrown full of medication and forced to naturally birth that child, it may have given her the result she desired with them, but I don’t think that the doctors are actively looking for a mortality rate and that scenario would have ultimately ended with one. Going the surgical route is definitely safest here, and while it ends up being horrible because Maki feels some form of just about everything, it’s okay because she doesn’t die and neither does the little boy that’s completely wrecked her life!

Instantly she hates, or at least despises, him. Zero fond regard for the child that they just ripped off her spinal column. Kaito loves him, naturally, and so he’s forced into being the more active decision-maker for the kid right up front. Of course he’d pick a name as…repetitive as Momoki for the baby, that just feels like something he’d do. (As a fun fact, for anyone who reads these reviews, the kanji for this particular instance of the name mean hundred (just like the momo- in Momota) and bright. Because names!) The scene ends with all of the friends showing up and being so in love with this baby that they don’t care how the mother may feel about things, not even a little bit, which is actually fairly standard for how birth stories go. Oof.

FOURTEEN.

I don’t really know what there is to say about this scene, it’s a good introduction to the lasting, lingering nature of Maki’s dislike of her child, especially when you don’t just give it to us in the form of her and Kaito interaction, but also through the hella invasive reporter looking for some sensationalized story. What a scumbag, and I’m glad that he got threatened out of the place because of who they just conveniently had to invite over right then, because of the other, expected child finally making his dumb appearance.

I’ll say it now because I will probably say it again at least once next chapter, but I love stupid Shikou and his stupid everything. (Again, fun fact, but Shikou’s name would be written with the specific kanji for aspire and achievement, which are some lofty goals his parents are thrusting onto him! Compare that to Aika, whose name literally means love song, and Kochou, whose name (almost ironically) means small butterfly!)

FIFTEEN.

Photoshoots are cute. Mahiru is cute. I’m glad that you brought her into this for yet another edition of “Mahiru is best photographer anyone knows” but it’s especially fitting here because, in Ultimate Love Song, it really was Maki and Kaito who got her involved in the first place. Everything circles back, I guess! The scene is super cute, especially with full-family shenanigans on both sides, but there are two things that linger in my mind after reading it again: one, Mahiru talking about paying off her debt and Maki imagining something that truly /is/ nightmareish, and two, the last two paragraphs in which we see that this motherhood thing really sits naturally in Kaede’s heart, while Maki clearly wants nothing to do with it at all, ever. The last paragraph is especially poignant, and I can’t wait to get to read where you continue building onto this!

Signel
7/24/2019 c3 43lon'quesadilla
Continuing right along, that’s about the reaction I expected from Maki on realizing what this meant, to be honest. Hoo boy. The friends’ reactions are wild, one trying to turn it around and the other having a crisis because he didn’t see the clues (which, would probably be my reaction in that case, too, if we’re bein honest). And here we go, another argument. Seriously Kaede? I guess the being pregnant thing is valid as an excuse but geez. Aw, it was nice (I guess) for them to have a baby shower thrown for them, seeing all the guests was as fun as when we saw some of them at the Halloween party! At least this argument didn’t seem to last as long as the last? And Kaede is apologizing again? Good. The party wouldn’t have been the same without the Squad, tbh. The return of Baby Keebo was probably the best thing ever and I’m dying, squirtle. Bless Aika for gifting that to them, seriously. Aaaaand now it’s time to meet baby Momota, hhhhhhhhhH. Leave it to Kaito to want to name the baby after him, silly guy. I...wonder what this guy askin questions is all about, it’s an Odd kind of scene. But! I am so glad to see Mahiru return again! They gotta get more pictures, and it sounds like the last one is a Real Winner, aw.
Whew, okay so I loved this chapter and I’m so excited for the next one!
7/24/2019 c2 lon'quesadilla
The birthdays chapter! I had to refresh a little before moving on, but I’m glad I did so because this chapter was such a joy to re-read. I’m glad that friendship drama got worked out, even moreso since it was on Maki’s birthday. While her night didn’t seem so good, her present is (eventually) going to hopefully make up for it. we’ll see. Hhhhh, the baby board came back, and despite already knowing the outcome, the scene is so adorable to read, to find out that this baby is gonna be a boy. I’m so excited to get to read about that little guy. Not too much to say about Kaito’s birthday except congrats on the birthday sex and model rocket. Little Miss Swan Lake’s birthday is so adorable and it’s what she deserves. Bless that child and her sister. Now, because of some 1v1 chats about a certain thing, it dawned on me about halfway through what this end part /could/ be, and since I procrastinated so long, I’m excited to get to read right on through to the next chapter to see where it could possibly be going :3c

In any case, though, again, this was an absolute joy to reread!
7/18/2019 c2 132signelchan
FIVE.

I remember that you were a bit apprehensive of the tense shift here at the start of the scene but I think you make it work well, it’s a life lesson before getting into the meat of things. Which, the meat of things here (snerk) is that it’s Maki’s birthday, and Kaede is trying to make amends by wishing her friend a good one, as well as getting the apology ball rolling. Her doing that does make Kaito a bit late on birthday wishes, but that’s fine because holy cow his birthday gift more than makes up for that! He must really love her to get her concert tickets that far in advance, what a sweetheart. But his timing is horrendous, he’s given her a great gift while she’s struggling through a meal that is just not agreeing with her. It does mean that they don’t get to go home and get intimate, but all birthdays can’t be winners.

SIX.

It’s another birthday, and this one comes with a callback to one of my favorite things from Ultimate Love Song: the baby board! Obviously this is a tradition the Saiharas have kept going, and why not rope the original assistants back in for this third time around, especially since it’s, once again, meant to be the big reveal (which, you know, it was kind of going to be the first time until Kaito opened his mouth about things), and it’s meant to be Kaede’s birthday present. Which is, you know, super adorable and all that. But anyway! Maki’s such a good friend, she’s moving past what had made her and Kaede fight before and is giving this child thing her all, and she’s excellent at keeping secrets, unlike Kaito, and that’s why he doesn’t find out what colors they’re painting the letters until they’re there to paint them!

And, naturally, Kaito fucks up twice in a short period of time. Once by trying to compliment Maki’s assets in a baby’s room, and once by painting two letters side-by-side the same light shade of blue. Because of course he does.

Anyway, when the Saihara Squad enters the scene, the cuteness here gets ramped up more with every second. The girls are so ready to find out what their sister’s going to be, because naturally they’d assume all siblings are sisters, and duh the proud parents are ready to know and stop being in the dark. Their excitement at this third child being a boy is so tangible it pains me to keep reading through it, but it’s so precious and cute and I love every second of it. There is literally nothing wrong with this scene—well, minus Maki’s stick-in-the-mud attitude about things, even if she’s not saying them. She thinks bad about the kids, she thinks bad about Kaede, she’s just a grumpy person all around.

I mentioned this in the review for the first chapter, and I’m gonna bring it up again in conjunction with Maki’s bad attitude: she’s awfully judge-y about appearances, or more specifically about her friend’s appearance. I know she doesn’t say a word of it to Kaede, but reading her inner thoughts call her friend a /beached whale/ is beyond harsh. We’ve talked about this between us so I can properly visualize what Maki’s seeing, but even with that visual I wouldn’t go that far. Yes this Kaede has had two children and is pregnant with her third, but there’s no need for her best friend to be so mean about her appearance. Let her embrace those curves she’s earned, damn it!

SEVEN.

Kaito gets two things for his birthday: his model rocket built and some mind-blowing sex right in front of it. What more can a guy ask for?

EIGHT.

Jeez is this the birthday chapter or what? (Just kidding, I know it is.) So now it’s precious Aika’s fourth birthday—wasn’t it just like…months ago that I posted the chapter of her being born late that night? Anyway, after these horny bastards bang again, they go spend some time with miss Swan Lake at her birthday party. There’s a lot of cute stuff that happens here, like Kochou and the stick for her big sister, but the thing that has gotten me every time I’ve read through this scene has been from where the girls are asleep onward, because it’s just so tender and shows how much Maki putting her disdain of kids aside really /matters/ to the Saiharas.

Oh, and also Kaito is still doing the dumb mini thing, and I kinda wish Maki had turned the car around to let him get the smackdown he deserved from Kaede.

NINE.

Another damn birthday, holy shit, but this time our focal character is too busy praying to a porcelain god to wind up at a birthday party for a three-year-old. (As an aside, I love Kochou and all, but she’s just barely a year younger than her sister, someone needed to keep their pants on a bit longer I think.) So Maki’s really sick and Kaito goes to the second Swan Lake birthday party in like…three and a half weeks, ish. He doesn’t have a bad time, but he sure doesn’t have a great time because of other people that are there, and it’s after he tells Maki about this that she gets the world’s dumbest idea in her mind.

Why would you /ever/ suggest having a child to solve the problem? Clearly, as evidenced by Kaede and Shuichi, one is a gateway drug to more and more, so that seems like it would just end up being worse than having to deal with a little sexism. So they end their night not acting on that stupid suggestion, what a good idea.

TEN.

The first part of this scene is Maki’s birthday present finally coming to fruition, and they go to the concert and she has an absolutely horrible time because she’s still sick. Mind you, this is like two days after the previous scene, so she hasn’t been sick forever but it’s long enough for her to be over it and want an expert’s opinion on things. As funny as it is that the last thing she says in the chapter is definitely about them fucking, there's something more important going on here. That's because, little does she know that her appointment is going to end with her hearing a doctor curse about something that they’re seeing on a scan of her abdominal region, which I wonder that that could /possibly/ be about…

I guess this week’s wait is not for a resolution to a fight, but rather for an explanation as to what the doctor saw. I’m excited to get to read the next chapter again, and I hope that you’re enjoying these scene-by-scene breakdowns as much as I am!

Signel
7/11/2019 c1 signelchan
As the person responsible for the original idea you’re writing, and the person who wrote the fic this is a sequel to, /and/ the person who edited your fic, I think my opinion here probably matters absolutely not at all. I mean, there’s so many things I can say here that you’ve been hearing me say since you started writing this fic, that I think that it would just be smartest if I said nothing at all.

Except you don’t get off that easy with me, my dear, so buckle up.

ONE.

Naturally Kaito would be the kind of dumbass to mix up thunder and lightning, but him and Maki get to have soaking wet sex because of it (and no, I’m not just talking about the swamp between her legs), so his stupidity can be forgiven. This scene is really cute in that you explore Maki’s disdain of children and how it still manifests itself despite having other children around in her life, and even though she cannot stand kids they sure do adore her. Great scene, does a beautiful job of opening the story, can’t complain here.

TWO.

It’s a Halloween party! I love how you roped in some characters that I didn’t bring into the original fic (hello Kiyo, hello Tsumugi, both of you enjoy your minimal time in the limelight, we’ll see you never), as well as ones that did have at least a moment of importance in the original. This scene is great for introducing the other main characters into the fic, which naturally are the members of the Saihara Squad whom are so dear to Kaito and Maki—even though two of them might not be quite so dear to Maki. Of course, this scene may not exactly paint Aika and Kochou into the best light because a) we’re reading this through Maki’s point of view and b) they’re dressed as baby sharks and have forced their parents to do the same. Precious dancer children.

You do a really good job of transitioning between different groups as people move around in their conversation, and you show that a lot has happened in people’s lives that have got them all with babies on their minds. Naturally, though, the ones with the most about children on their minds are the Saiharas, and everyone kind of keeps bringing up how much their children-having has changed things about them. I know you get more into this in the future so I’ll keep that conversation to that point c:

THREE.

You just breeze right through the almost two months between Halloween and Christmas, and I know for a fact that if we were focused on the other main pair, that wouldn’t be the case here. But we’re following the human disasters Kaito and Maki, so we’ll just keep rolling with their lives here; that means that we’re going to talk about how they start their morning with more bedroom tangoing, and then get into the present-opening. They both have very adorable presents for the other, but I think Maki’s gift for Kaito might just edge out his gift for her by leagues. That’s such a niche gift for her to pick out, but it’s definitely something that he would appreciate.

The happiness there gets immediately diminished by Maki finding out the big news that their friends have shared that morning, and honestly…can you blame her for being upset by it? She’s already thinking she hates them for having two kids, would them announcing that they’re having a third child really do anything to help that?

Points to Kaito for still going on about his feeling, he was definitely wrong the first time and still wrong the second, let’s see how long he continues insisting he’s right when he’s potentially not this time.

FOUR.

New Year’s is a horrible, horrible time for everyone involved. On one hand, yes Kaede and Shuichi should have at least given a warning that they were bringing their children with them because they knew that Maki wouldn’t be happy about that. On the other, Maki should have understood that maybe it wouldn’t be possible for them to do anything but bring the girls with them, and she could have been nicer about it. This is two strong-willed women (one of which is at least pregnant enough to be announcing it to the world) going head-to-head, and it results in everyone being pissed off about something.

That’s where you leave us for the week and I’m excited to see where you divide the next chapter for everyone to see. This story, as someone who’s read all but the very end, is incredibly good and your choice of division points is intentionally done with the reader’s enjoyment in mind, so it’ll be nice to see what fun spot we get to next time! I’m so glad you decided to write a sequel to my fic and if I was gonna trust anyone with that job (especially the job of this particular story), I wouldn’t have picked anyone but you.

Signel
7/10/2019 c1 43lon'quesadilla
Oh boy, finally getting to read the first chapter of the story I’ve thus far only gotten to hear you talk about! So far I love it, from the dinner date scene with the kid, to the Halloween party. Seeing some of the other characters was nice (I know we don’t normally talk about Kiyo but seeing him telling the little kids spooky stories was really a nice change from literally everything else he’s in) and Gonta, Ryoma, Rantaro, Tsumugi...idk I just like seeing a lot of characters all together having fun, especially in party scenes. I did have the shark song in my head all throughout reading the scene after a certain part, so that was interesting! The Christmas scene was adorable and the presents were perfect. Ofc that’s what they would dress as, because why not. Oh but oof, and then the new years scene, bit of a rocky start to their new years’ eve, I hope that gets resolved? Whew. In any case, I’m so excited to follow along with this adventure! :D

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