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for The Iron Gamer of Kumo

9/6/2022 c14 Guest
Maybe he could turn that off and have a signature again

On the bright side tho

If he layers all his stealth skills assassinations, scouting and intelligence gathering (not the under cover kind) are gonna be freakin cakewalk

Also he just needs to make a small surf board to fly lol

Oooh or maybe he could make metal armor (like Gaara a invincible shield that acts as another layer of skin) that’s all connected and he could fly and boosts his defense and strength like having a symbiote
9/2/2022 c14 Guest
Alright how to explain it... there is this obvious boring storytelling combined with lackluster filling words.

Here is how you write:

The Start. A pebble. A pebble is on the ground. The ground has the pebble on top of it. The pebble doesn't move when the wind blows. The wind blows through the ground. The pebble is not important at all. The End.

Basically this is what you write but you don't write like that. You use some confusing shit choice of words and it doesn't stick in head. It's like reading a bunch of gibberish. For example everytime I wrote pebble you would write some other tree stone view temperature or other unimportant shit when you see a fucking dirt road with some sticks in it.

Maybe you wanted to try to give the story a breather/a pause or something for the transition but this transition is so fucking jarring to read and process that you just automatically want to skip over those parts and only forcefully can you continue to read word for word on to not miss any detail you want us to present. But then BAM... There is nothing important in it for the reader to find at the end of this transitions. It just a fucking filler to drive the wordcount up and also its hard to read and not relaxing at all. It's even more strenuous to read as some of the worst parts of the story.

Chuunin exam was lacklustre also 2nd part of it was so dumbly explained and solved, who the fk knows what you wanted to do.

Arena fight was just filler words of hand to hand combat and how the guys looked, honestly the only thing you can remember after reading it is how many bottles they had in the respirators. Dunno about that and why each one of them puked blood.

The fight with Nii was forced and timeskipped pretty shit why can't you time skip your dirt roads and pebbles instead.

Like, look that guy has a system and a map... Inbuilt. So you as the author came to us and started to describe what's on the fucking map. Are you fucking playing mmos where you go for the achievements of viewpoints? They are fucking boring to collect and do, and now you write them out loud for no reason into the story. If he would get stat points or items or some shit for that maybe it would make sense to write and read it but... fuck there is nothing.

Ok besides that, some comments already wrote its boring and mechanical.
I guess when the guy that focuses his time by choosing complex combination of words and how the wind bites your ass when you don't wear the right panties in the XY location, the characters suffer from neglect.

This story should be called I got "Ironsand in between my buttchecks everytime I travel - Gamer"

Ah also you do these weird-inputshitrighthere- thats looking strange and serves no purpose
9/3/2022 c10 UmamiLantern
Chapter 10 error: Senzo, we are you ok?!"
8/30/2022 c14 Guest
just finished every chapter you had for this. Man is it great! A lot of great story, character development, and gamer interface that isn't overpowered. The only thing it's missing, but is probably just yet to come, is more interaction with the main story of Naruto and how it's changed with Kioshi's interventions...

Keep up the good work!
8/25/2022 c1 Heavenly-Cauldron
Uzumaki seems like the go to?
8/25/2022 c14 Swaggerboy
10/10
8/25/2022 c14 TysonG
Really great story so far. Can't wait for the next chapter
8/23/2022 c14 dan.lew.upg
cant wait for more
8/21/2022 c14 MattKennedy
Happy to see a new chapter of this! :) And what an interesting new 'ability' Kioshi has gained. Ikahima is delightful as well. Love his foretelling.
8/18/2022 c8 4Chronosign
Scene from The Flash
Cateline: Harvey always had a challenging personality.
Cisco: What she means is he was mostly jerk, but every once in a while... he could be a dick.
8/17/2022 c14 BloodyParty
This is a really good story, I hope you‘ll update again soon.
8/15/2022 c14 XxKawaiPotatoesxX
Holy, this is amazing
8/15/2022 c13 XxKawaiPotatoesxX
Of of his cones. Hahaha, but anyways, I love how long the chapters are, and how one of these people see him, someonebody was gonna notice how strange MC is, and how long did he stay in that dungeon for his hair to grow longer? Doesn't that take years.

him technically talking to himself was funny, and a little sad seeing how it's just more training, can't blame him though, I don't know how else his gonna beat the monsters that are the Akatsuki, and Kaguya, and other otoksuki.

Wow, I kinda expected the type of summoning he was gonna get, and not at the same time. Also wow, akward, reverse summoning during mating season.

Seeing him talk to team ten (Shikamaru) is insteresing aswell since I don't think he has ever talked to he main cast, or affected the plot, and it's nice seeing that he isn't totally loyal to kumo.
8/12/2022 c2 kleimorvergara
heterochromia...
you're too deep into the chuuni, my brudda. it's too late for you.
8/12/2022 c6 XxKawaiPotatoesxX
I swear if kumo has their own root training stuff, because his an orphan, I hope he doesn't get in.
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