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17h c11 snow in the darkness
Every time I read Chief dialogue with his voice sound, it's always funny to me. Good work mate, but unfortunately I'm going to drop this, it's just killing it for me since Chief going to join MBI, I like your story because it's unique but in my view you killing it by making Chief join Minaka, and I never like the fact Chief wing Karasuba, especially her attitude, it's like she is forcing Chief to break his promise to Cortana and she annoyed me well it's definitely biased opinion considering Maya is my favorite sekirei. In the end it's all matter of personal cup of tea, but overall definitely a good job, keep it up mate and good luck
18h c10 snow in the darkness
to be honest, one thing that make me love this fanfic so much is, I can actually imagine Master Chief acting like this. All his live he only enjoy MRE and work overtime killing every threat to humanity
5/3 c11 Guest
It's been 5 months chief, i guess i'm writing this down as dead.
4/4 c11 1Glrasshopper
This is truely brilliant! The mystery that is is-she-evil-or-not Serin, mixed with the seriousness of the reintegration of combat vets, mixed with the lightheartedness of Sekirie and a clueless Spartan.

I've seen a few "Chief retires" fics, but they never took my fancy like this one has.

With John taking the role of protagonist, does that mean that Parisia is going to be roped into the role of "sister" or would you rope in another surviving Sparten II if you brought in that plot thread. There's what, a dozen or so floating around, including at least five woman.
3/30 c11 1Yprescot
Honestly this has been one of the best fics I’ve read in a while. You’ve done an amazing job with John and I’m looking forward to seeing what you do with Blue Team going forward. Something I am wondering about is if we’ll be seeing the other IIs like Naomi, Grey Team, or Black Team since I’m assuming that they’ve been retired as well and that Black Team is still alive since the Ur-Didact was never released. If JD does end up being the Rookie I hope you explain what happened on Draco III in your version compared to canon. Altogether, a fun read with even the “slower” parts being enjoyable.
3/29 c11 Daggerxxx
I have to admit, John's day to day life is much better for you. As soon as shit starts seriously, it gets unbearably boring. Still, the Sekirei is not a setting that can be taken seriously. Well, what of John's an assistant in this matter with the insurrectionists? I don't understand why Soren needs him so much.
3/27 c10 FORGEMaster
JDJohn Doe
Is a mute
And is an ODST
It’s the Rookie, calling it now.

Anyway I’m surprised how well this is put together and I’m honestly looking forward for more.

Also just ignore the Guest reviews that constantly spam hate reviews, they have nothing better than viciously spank their troll rod for an ego boost. Trust me you’ll sleep easier at night.
3/25 c1 Guest
Disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting
3/25 c8 Guest
IDIOT FANFIC TRASH. Disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting disgusting
3/25 c3 Guest
Disgusting disgusting
3/25 c4 Guest
IDIOT FANFIC TRASH
3/25 c1 Guest
Please bitch. Disgusting
3/22 c11 Fullmetal11791
So there was a lot in this story that i liked, and a good amount i disliked or disagreed with. Ill start off by saying i think this was a decently realistic, if depressing, portrayal of what John's retirement could have looked like. I can certainly see it happening. I dont personally think his retirement would have been handled in this manner, but i agree it could have happened in such a way.

I also thought you blended the two worlds together well. Not too complicated, but it seemed to work well.

I did dislike how niave you made John. They definitely would have been given a sex ed in training, and they also would have been trained in how to act like civilians for infiltration missions. Not knowing how to shop for groceries, etc., just felt a bit forced. The man's quiet and private, sure, but i feel like you went too far with the whole "he's spent his entire life fighting and knows literally nothing else" concept. Even if that were true, and i dont buy it, he's got some amazing critical thinking and observation skills and could have figured a bunch of this civilian life stuff out himself.

Lastly, i think the pacing is kind of slow. I get that in the beginning you were showing him kind of adjusting a bit to retirement, but it could have picked up a bit.

All in all, good job.
3/22 c5 Fullmetal11791
Why on earth is Halsey getting mad at John reacting to an alien threat the way she trained him to react to alien threats? He didnt "mess up". He reacted the way he's been conditioned to react over the last thirty odd years. Very odd and unbelievable choice of dialogue and character interaction.
3/21 c11 FORGEMaster
I’ll admit this is an interesting take. Looking forward for more.
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