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for Of Broken Words and Mud Brothers

7/30/2019 c1 19The Rhombus
This was quite an emotional journey into an unseen side of Mo and the mannerisms of his kind. Up until this time the fandom has not had much of a focus on Mo's kind (with only one exception that I can recall) but in that case the focus was on stories that Mo was telling the others.

In this initial chapter, however, we get to see that things are not at all well with Mo's relationship with his peers. Whether it be due to his personality or actual deficiencies as a herd-member, it is obvious that he has had trouble finding true companionship among his peers. And now, unfortunately for him, this dynamic and the general antagonism against him by two members has now led to his exile. This presents a side to Mo, a hidden melancholy, that has a lot of potential and might explain some of his interactions with the gang as seen in the ninth film. I look forward to seeing how this develops from here. (:

As for the multi-part nature of this fanfic, I think that a longer one-shot entry (20k) would be perfectly fine for the prompt challenge, but I can certainly understand your reasoning to make it a multi-chapter story. In some cases simply breaking up a story into chapters can also be helpful in driving the general tenor of the narrative.
7/29/2019 c1 zero fullbuster
Love it.
Please write more.
7/28/2019 c1 8Anagnos
Interesting that you chose Mo as the main character in this prompt, but certainly a welcome one. Indeed, it’s true that there are not many Mo fics out there, and so far this seems to be a very promising and intriguing tale. And yeah, like Sovereign said it that Mo’s kin were pretty much against him except for Tenor, who seemed to have some sympathy for our swimmer friend about the decision.

I’m quite used to seeing Mo as a very happy individual without any trouble in the world, so it was also sorrowful to witness this happen to him. Hopefully the ending for this story will be much different in contrast of this chapter. I can definitely see why Mo wouldn’t be very liked among the water kin, but then again, he was nothing but a loving and caring in the film so I guess I’m having trouble seeing him like this. Not saying that there is anything wrong with the narrative. No, just the complete opposite.

I share Sovereign’s point about releasing prompts in one chapter and not making it a multi-chapter story, as with 20k words it wouldn’t have been a burden at all. But, it is true that every author is different from each other and that’s good since we all can’t be exactly the same. What would be the point of our existence then?

All in all, we’re off to a good start with this month’s prompt challenge and the following chapters will likely shed more light on Mo’s current predicament and the eventual happy reunion between him and his water kin. I will very much be looking forward to it!
7/27/2019 c1 26Keijo6
Now this seems like a promising tale. As you said, Mo fics are incredibly rare even if there is a lot of potential in his character and the Big Water as a whole. The events in this chapter are somewhat surprising as Mo’s water kin seemed very happy to see him at the end of the film so that pretty much confirms that this fic will have a somewhat happy ending.

It was rather sad to see the always-cheerful swimmer getting shamed this way and even more so become an outcast even among his own kind. His initial willingness to approach Kelp and Orca was very in-character and I’m sure every reader would have wanted the scene to move on differently. Later, I was happy to see some reasoning for Mo’s banishment as it made the story much deeper and more believable instead of the others just being mean for some vague reasons.

Personally, I prefer to release prompts in one chapter even if they get to 20k words but that, as everything else, varies with every author. It’ll be fun to see just how you’ll continue this fic as Mo deserves better than this. As I said earlier, you’re off to a good start with the water kin’s characterizations as they feel far from one-dimensional which could easily be an issue in a fic like this. Overall, this should be a really intriguing story and I’ll gladly take a look at Mo’s earlier life.
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