for Sealing My Own Fate8/2/2021 c21 Orodruin
There were a few things I liked about it: the course of development of a young Uzumaki in turning towards seals was fun. And I liked the way Sota's presence caused "unpredictable" changes in the Naruto timeline, and that you weren't afraid to make large changes (kill off a character) when you thought it made sense in your plot.
There were also many things I didn't like: the 2nd person POV was poorly written and I don't think it worked well for this story, a 1st or 3rd person POV would have worked better. The grammar was poor throughout the story but especially jarring in conversation, try reading the speech of your characters out loud after you write it and if it doesn't sound natural, consider changing it. Sota's development and the way he is treated by various people is unbelievable and never explained, the way he is treated and the way he develops is too different from his peers and past geniuses to be believable, and the majority of characters who interact with him are extremely out of character when doing so. Sota's behavior is also unbelievable and inconsistent, he jumps to conclusions about things from his first day that seem ridiculous for a child or an adult in a child's body, and he is constantly contradicting himself in thoughts and actions, the actions he does take that put him in bad situations could have been easily avoided from the beginning, so the sense that he is only working with Danzo because he has no other choice feels contrived and fake.
I like OCs and the SI trope opens up the universe to some fun changes, so I've read it this far, but unfortunately there isn't really anything that compels me to come back to it. With some heavy editing to fix the POV, the grammar, and the plot inconsistencies, I think this could be a fun story, but it really needs almost a complete rewrite. If you do decide to rewrite it (which is okay, most authors rewrite their books several times before publishing), I would love to read a 2nd or 3rd draft once things are a bit more polished. Best of luck in the future!
There were a few things I liked about it: the course of development of a young Uzumaki in turning towards seals was fun. And I liked the way Sota's presence caused "unpredictable" changes in the Naruto timeline, and that you weren't afraid to make large changes (kill off a character) when you thought it made sense in your plot.
There were also many things I didn't like: the 2nd person POV was poorly written and I don't think it worked well for this story, a 1st or 3rd person POV would have worked better. The grammar was poor throughout the story but especially jarring in conversation, try reading the speech of your characters out loud after you write it and if it doesn't sound natural, consider changing it. Sota's development and the way he is treated by various people is unbelievable and never explained, the way he is treated and the way he develops is too different from his peers and past geniuses to be believable, and the majority of characters who interact with him are extremely out of character when doing so. Sota's behavior is also unbelievable and inconsistent, he jumps to conclusions about things from his first day that seem ridiculous for a child or an adult in a child's body, and he is constantly contradicting himself in thoughts and actions, the actions he does take that put him in bad situations could have been easily avoided from the beginning, so the sense that he is only working with Danzo because he has no other choice feels contrived and fake.
I like OCs and the SI trope opens up the universe to some fun changes, so I've read it this far, but unfortunately there isn't really anything that compels me to come back to it. With some heavy editing to fix the POV, the grammar, and the plot inconsistencies, I think this could be a fun story, but it really needs almost a complete rewrite. If you do decide to rewrite it (which is okay, most authors rewrite their books several times before publishing), I would love to read a 2nd or 3rd draft once things are a bit more polished. Best of luck in the future!
7/1/2021 c12 TrumpasaurusRex
I’m this fic, he’s completely made up his own rules on how Shadow Clones work. It’s nonsensical.
I’m this fic, he’s completely made up his own rules on how Shadow Clones work. It’s nonsensical.
6/30/2021 c9 TrumpasaurusRex
I hate this MC.
He’s a self-insert, but he’s afraid of thunderstorms to the point he ends up in the fetal position. He also randomly starts hysterically crying like a baby. He even did it in the middle of a mission just because his teammate asked him if he thought he should try to regain his memories.
He is the biggest wuss and he’s annoying.
I hate this MC.
He’s a self-insert, but he’s afraid of thunderstorms to the point he ends up in the fetal position. He also randomly starts hysterically crying like a baby. He even did it in the middle of a mission just because his teammate asked him if he thought he should try to regain his memories.
He is the biggest wuss and he’s annoying.
4/24/2021 c20 kanachan876
you died from overreaching your boundaries. As a result of no one in the future to heal sasuke. the world is destine to doom. lol . kabuto the insect died actually bring a lot of storm. hmmm. orochimaru need someone that good at healing jutsu. so i think karin will replace kabuto. so.. nothing change in the end. probably. the story is good but lack of emotion because when i read this story, i cannot feel what the mc go through. why? because the 'you' actually make my brain go wierd that the 'you' become an MC name. like hey 'you' how are you doing... like that. but its your choice so go crazy.
you died from overreaching your boundaries. As a result of no one in the future to heal sasuke. the world is destine to doom. lol . kabuto the insect died actually bring a lot of storm. hmmm. orochimaru need someone that good at healing jutsu. so i think karin will replace kabuto. so.. nothing change in the end. probably. the story is good but lack of emotion because when i read this story, i cannot feel what the mc go through. why? because the 'you' actually make my brain go wierd that the 'you' become an MC name. like hey 'you' how are you doing... like that. but its your choice so go crazy.
4/23/2021 c2 d1n0s
It's a good story but the constant you you you you you is starting to grate.
Some of the sentences you try to make second person don't makes sense and you'll accidentally put you in twice.
It's a good story but the constant you you you you you is starting to grate.
Some of the sentences you try to make second person don't makes sense and you'll accidentally put you in twice.
1/2/2021 c16 Guest
Kumo sounds so much better than staying in Konoha at this point. Good story btw!
Kumo sounds so much better than staying in Konoha at this point. Good story btw!
12/12/2020 c4 
1trend breaker
interesting but all the you that are supposed to be i is driving me crazy cant continue
1trend breakerinteresting but all the you that are supposed to be i is driving me crazy cant continue
12/11/2020 c14 ita123
Geez, good Konoha village is starting to see controversy in my eyes now ,, thanks for the update and great chapter
Geez, good Konoha village is starting to see controversy in my eyes now ,, thanks for the update and great chapter
10/10/2020 c4 JustDusty
You know, telling everybody everything is bound to have some consequences. Like having you tied to a chair getting mind raped by a yamanaka. I don't see any consequences
You know, telling everybody everything is bound to have some consequences. Like having you tied to a chair getting mind raped by a yamanaka. I don't see any consequences