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6/22 c2 Guest
Please continue
5/23 c2 Cyphercode9128
well i like the plot of the story so fare, the only thing i have to say is the chapters do need to have a bit more details but other than that its going great!
4/19 c2 12Makuro767
You need a better format. This story has potential but the style leave a lot to correct.

1. Decide what kind of writing your prefer? A short drabble of 100 words per chapter or a light novel/web novel type or a full length novel?

2. If its more than one person POV, stick to third person because its less confusing.

3. Try to only add author notes at the end of the story like a post script. Reading authors notes while enjoying the story flow kills the mood of most reader. You could put a tiny mark like a star or a number at the end of a paragraph to mark where you refer the ps author note at the end of chapter.
2/18 c2 Sakura lisel
Plus since he grew up speaking a different language, shouldn't his name NOT be Harry Potter now, but instead whatever name his adopted family gave him when they took him in, as far as 'Harry' should be concerned when people in the magical world try and call him what HE considers the 'wrong name'? *lol*

Though why why did his black skin turn brown, and his blue cloak turn blue grey? Did somebody hex him to change his appearance to look more 'normal'?
2/18 c2 28Sakura Lisel
Aw... come on! This is WAY too short a chapter. Even if your too busy with school, why is it already over before anything actually happens besides Dumbledore inspecting Harry, Harry waking up, then Umbitch showing up? Then its over?

Though unless somebody cast a translator spell on him while he was knocked out since he was speaking another language when he arrived, did he actually UNDERSTAND what Umbridge said to him when she spoke to him?
2/18 c2 Nothosaurus
This chapter is the shortest frinking thing but dang it if this wasn't entertaining.
2/11 c1 smol spirit boi
you've got an amazing start but I need more lol
11/11/2019 c1 A person
This is really good so far! Please continue it
8/3/2019 c1 shadowstalkerlo
Have a follow. And keep at it you should get the hang of the site soon
8/1/2019 c1 9JokerArsene
But thank you for the comments! sorry if it's way to short, I had writer's block, didn't know what to write.
8/1/2019 c1 JokerArsene
Before anyone asks about the other fic, it's because I didn't realize it wasn't finished, but I don't know how to work things, I have to do things by phone, so I'm a idiot.
8/1/2019 c1 TheEnderThief
This is amazing so far, could be longer but other than that its incredible. Keep up the hard work!
8/1/2019 c1 Kilare T'suna
Hey, it's a neat idea, but its far too short.
8/1/2019 c1 Dylan-A-Friend
NICE! I Think This Is A New Original Story! Love The Idea.

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