4/16/2021 c2 NazgulBelserion
I hope this doesn't turn into garbage Bash Fest, oh bohooo I'm All alone blah blah I want Harry to be Jaded and no fucks given oh Thanos is gonna blow up the planet oh well too bad don't care type of attitude this is a guy who spent he's ENTIRE LIFE being Tortured and Experimented on if he's a pathetic Hero wannabe who wants to help people and isn't Crazy and Unstable then idk what to say lol.

10/14/2020 c2 6thunderofdeath97
is this abandoned as well?

9/13/2019 c2 7Dovahkiin1503
First off let me say that I feel honored that you felt inspired enough by my story to base one on it even though it is not finished (damn you Ultron and your underdeveloped personality).

Before I give some tips for the story (you can do with them whatever you want), I must say that another Harry/Wanda story is always a good thing in my book since those have the most potential. I can see that this story has a lot of potential (and no I am not just saying that because it is based on my own).

Since this is you first story, let me do something for you that only a few did for me, which is giving you some tips to make a "better" story.

1: You can NEVER please everyone. There will always be people who only place a review on your story simply just to hate on it. When this happens you have to simply ignore it and move on. Most people who leave a review try to be possitive even though it can be seen as negative.

2: Try to make smaller blocks of text and pace your story. I like to spent the first chapter on the backstory. You want others to read your story so try to place the backstory in one chapter if you can. Your first two chapter are less than 1928 words, this could have been just one chapter, with the second one being the start of the real story. People normally do not like a story with multiple chapter of as you said "exposition dumps". Also most people love long chapters, just like they love long episodes or movies... well most of the time.

3: Try and take your time with the chapters. People will review you for the next update. When this happens don't feel rushed and take your time. Others will only like it more if the chapter is of high quality. And if it takes a very long time (looking at my own story) upload two chapters at once to reward your readers for their patience.

4: Keep the personalities of your characters consistant and realistic. This is the hardest to do, sice it involves the personality of both writer and reader. I myself am rather sarcastic and at times also rather cinical. Which is also the reason why the Harry in my story is bitter towards the world, since I try to place myself in the situation of my characters. Personally speaking I think your Harry is a bit too optimistic for someone in his situation.

Also we both have one major problem, which is the underdeveloped Ultron and the 75% of his personality that is in Vision. In the movie Age of Ultron, Ultron is depicted as evil for evil's sake (in my eyes) which contradicts his main mission "Creating peace in their time". The only personality trait I could find is that he is rather obsessed with Wanda (rewatch AoU and focus on the interaction between Ultron and Wanda, you will see what I mean).

The only thing for me to say is this, Keep up the good work and do not be afraid to ask for help.

8/24/2019 c2 Jack1nTheBox
holy cow, that is an impressive wall of text for such a short chapter.

though I like the premise of the story, I'm not sure about harry's parents being alive. those stories are usually a bit angsty for my taste.

8/3/2019 c2 2Googlethor
Nice but extremely short, it felt like, why are you evening writing of we can't make a single thought about it..

8/1/2019 c1 Ivan Orion Black
Dios mio, juro que llevo buscando una historia con esa idea demasiado, me encanta, porfabor actualiza rapido, y si necesitas un beta o un traductor, me ofrezco voluntario, contesta si quieres en el proximo capitulo, y ya hablamos.