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for Code Geass: Lelouch of the Celestial Revolution

3/2 c1 Guest
can you update this?
9/26/2019 c1 Krysvun
I'm happy that there's a huge potential here, but the info dump from the beginning to the middle of the chapter is massive. I'm of the opinion that you should have spaced the info over a couple of chapters and rather than telling all of it outright through narration and simple dialogue, make it go through more interesting and immersive ways. For example, news broadcasts talking about rising tensions between the two empires, books/soldiers' diaries/newspapers to tell what happened during the war, minor flashbacks at the beginning of the chapter to hint at the motivations for each character (i.e. Lelouch and Rayet's inner monologue about what they went through).

Other things to note, I suggest to not use flashbacks interspaced between dialogues without using italics; when narrating a flashback make a clear transition from the main dialogue to it. Both of these are quite important to prevent the narration jarring the readers.
8/23/2019 c1 denorads
Quite an interesting idea, looking forward to how you will combine the two universes (and hopefully correct Aldnoah zero serious problems). Can't wait for the next chapter.
8/17/2019 c1 omega9028
I just hope that the code geass elements improve Alnoah Zero, although it would be entertaining to see what a Britannia vs. Marciano confrontation will be like, he also asked me if the invasion began during or after the black rebellion and also know if the civilization of Mars has a connection with the world of C
8/13/2019 c1 Ramos
Well it will be interesting how much you will change the history of Aldnoah zero, which basically follows the most commonly used formula in Gundam UC, Seed and gundam iron blooded orphans, in which a group of military or teenagers with little or no military training flees into a ship of a space empire with only its Mechas as a defense.
However I disagree with Vers's apparent technological superiority, his Mechs are huge and slow on the ground, being faster flying or in space while Knightmare Frames are more agile and of different customization settings, some even carrying Energy Shields and weapons like the Handron cannon and have the ability to fly at very high speeds ,not to mention individuals who have geass powers, imagine Mao, Roll and Bismark, the first Able to read minds, the second to stop the perception of time and the third to see the future these three are capable of facing and even defeating the Orbital Knights with little difficulty, remember that the Geass Order practically creates elite soldiers and having pilots and advance Knightmares should be no problem for Britannia.
Now the bad part, the Inaho's plot device. He is practically Gary Tsu or Wesley Crusher of the whole series, he solves problems that not even the most seasoned commander, strategist or military pilot can solve, and the main reason why I stopped watching the series midway through season 2.
Princess Asseylum, It's worse than Princess Euphemia as a matter of fact, at least Euphemia knows she walks in dangerous environments that can kill her at any moment.
The Vers empire verges on a Nazi regime, with the emperor's endorsement, the Orbital Knights can do whatever they want without repercussions. In episode 8, Saazbaum, a high ranking Orbital Knight kills another high ranking Orbital Knight and this is never brought up again, nor is the fact he kidnapped a prisoner who was being tortured for information mentioned to him, they have no restrictions on attacking civilian targets, destroying entire cities and killing millions worldwide with the orbital bomber which is justifiable to them since the people of earth are guilty of killing their princess and also because they are but inferior beings on their evolutionary scale., they are more dangerous than the Holy Britannian Empire, which at least allows the people they dominate to become honorary citizens.
I think your biggest challenge in this story will be how to level these characters and the Aldnoah environment, Inaho fights practically alone and Lelouch is a great commander and strategist, but between these two, Lelouch has more charisma.
8/13/2019 c1 lianehodgson47
Love the story I’ve been waiting for one of these for ages
8/12/2019 c1 Roboman
So far so good, although you may want to spend a little bit more time proofreading; I noticed a few typos here and there. That said, they are far less prominent here than in certain other stories on this site.

I can't help but wonder if we get a look at what's happening on the Vers side of things next chapter. I know you said Asseylum's visit wasn't for a few months, but when you think about it, she's probably already on her way, or at least will be very soon. We never get an actual number on how long the travel time from Mars to Earth is, but considering how Cruteo's (I'm probably spelling that wrong) son arrived in the latter half of the second season, its probably a while (I might be remembering wrong, but I think he implied departing sometime during the middle of the first).

Also, Inaho and Lelouch. Truly, a match made in analytical and strategic heaven. Assuming they're on the same side, of course, and you don't do something like have Inaho team up with Suzaku against Lelouch and Slaine... actually, that might be very interesting...
8/12/2019 c1 1OBSERVER01
Never watched Aldoah Zero but i'll see where this xover goes.
8/12/2019 c1 whiznoe
Danganronpa revolution of chaos
8/12/2019 c1 9Lord Metallex
How do knightmares and and their later versions compare to the mechs in aldnoah
8/12/2019 c1 4tf330129
Keep it up :)
8/12/2019 c1 Guest
Nice update Grimm and demons and Danganronpa revolution of chaos

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