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for Heaven's new Dawn

2/12/2021 c1 Jonnywoods88
Kill yourself, you autistic nerd.
10/31/2020 c1 4GreenWarrior291
Regarding Spelling and some grammar, try to work on it a little bit. Also careful with run-on sentences. Other than that I like the story you are going with, Riku Replica getting a second chance and the name change is pretty interesting.
10/24/2020 c1 Writer2018
Go fuck yourself, loser.
8/29/2020 c1 SecondBorne
Kill yourself, faggot.
8/10/2020 c1 Starlord Master
Fancy story title.
11/3/2019 c1 8Terrence Johnny Stanford
I like your concept. Though a few grammar errors here and there. But I like it.
10/3/2019 c1 1TigerWarrior1998
Okay, I like the idea of Riku Replica getting a second chance, and him changing his name makes sense. You have a good start to your story, but there are things that I think need improving. For one, to many run on sentences. You need to give your reader break when they're reading, that's what the commas and periods are for. Don't use them too much, just when you think it's appropriate. Also, there were quite a bit of grammar errors, such as star instead of start. Maybe you were typing to fast or something, but the point is be sure to spell check your words. Overall, I see the potential in this fic, it's interesting, but be sure to pay attention to detail.
8/30/2019 c1 37Yurosoku
Ok...now I haven't watched this anime so I'll be basing it on mostly grammar.
It definitely needs a lot of re-work with grammar, you should have some beta read it and get someone to check it before post. But aside from that, it has potential, it just needs some polish.
8/25/2019 c1 Kamencolin
I’m interested in this hope to see more
8/22/2019 c1 8RoxaShadow
I'll have to agree with Preferably Bitter 52 in regards to spelling and grammar. I can tell from the way it's written that you clearly are eager and excited to form and develop this story into a long and incredible epic, but in order to do it right, pacing and patience is Key(insert kingdom Key joke here). You need to make sure that the story is coherent enough for the readers to truly understand everything that you're trying to get across. As it is now, I'm struggling to follow the narrative as it is.

Now I'm suggesting you give up, (I will never tell an inspiring author to do that) but if you want to improve as a writer, I suggest you go through this chapter, listen to it using a text to voice and try to clean it up so that it flows more smoothly.
8/22/2019 c1 29Preferably Bitter 52
Your story has potential but you need to work on your grammar and spelling so it’ll be easier for the reader to read and understand.

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