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3/6/2020 c2 1Lord Grise
A bit rushed on the character introductions, but overall well done! Story and author followed!
9/6/2019 c1 rachel
You have an interesting premise, and I'd very much like to read more. The grammar seems pretty good too.

That said, I find the present-tense narration distracting, and the long paragraphs make following the plot harder. I recommend getting a beta reader who is good at working on those aspects to polish it up a bit more.

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